We're in the AI bubble now
In a Nutshell
Allbirds' pivot to AI—hedging with "seek to acquire" $50M in compute hardware—is a scam tell signaling the AI bubble, mirroring Eric Watson's 2017 iced tea rebrand to Long Blockchain Corp., which pumped stock 400% via hype without substance. Bubbles evolve toward "pure photon scams" of pure intent: dot-com needed websites, crypto just whitepapers, AI merely a verb, enabling lazy pivots that bag retail investors while regulators ignore them. Real pivots like Nintendo's require substance; Allbirds' GPU shopping cart ploy preys on hype, with Russell Crowe as the video's symbolic scam-fighter.
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Russell Crowe walks into the men's bathroom of a five-star hotel in London in 2002 and encounters New Zealander Eric Watson washing his hands at the sink. They beat the absolute shit out of each other for unexplained reasons. Russell Crowe returns to being an Oscar winner and movie star. Eric Watson returns to his day job selling women's underwear through his company Ellie McFersonson Intimates.
Eric Watson will change American finance forever 15 years later.
Every scam has a tell in the language, always that one word or little verb representing the whole scam in miniature. Once you learn to listen for it, you will never go broke again. It's like knowing 'we should hang out sometime' means you will never see the person again.
This week's word is seek. Shoe company Allbirds pivoted to AI on Wednesday. Their press release said they will initially seek to acquire high-performance AI compute hardware. They didn't say 'initially acquire AI hardware,' which would be reasonable. Seek to acquire is the metaphysical precedent of acquiring. They're not an AI company; they're AI curious, not natural, just wanting to know what it feels like.
The press release hedges because $50 million in AI compute in 2026 is a total joke—enough for 10 video cards, not even servicing Gary Tan's daily quota. Nvidia is sold out until 2028. The $50 million is the absolute minimum to survive public scrutiny from an undisclosed investor, which public companies are legally allowed.
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