Hardship, Resilience & Competing at the Highest Level | Ken Rideout
In a Nutshell
Ken Rideout shares his transformation from drug addiction and a tough childhood to elite endurance triumphs, including winning a brutal 155-mile self-supported race in Mongolia with just four weeks of prep, emphasizing that true fulfillment lies on the "other side of hard" through suffering, discipline, and relentless competition. Key takeaways: Embrace discomfort as salvation (replacing drugs with purposeful pain), train like you can't win and compete like you can't lose, prioritize ambition and daily grit over talent, and apply fighter mentality—never quit mentally, lean into adversity like family cancer battles or parenting—to build unbreakable resilience and lasting memories. Discipline grants freedom; everything worth having demands maximum effort, turning failures into strengths and service to others.
These notes were generated by AI and may contain inaccuracies.
Ken Rideout tried the mediocre road in life, which wasn't fulfilling. The only fulfilling things have come with suffering and struggling.
Dr. Andy Galpin introduces Ken Rideout as an author, elite endurance athlete, and storyteller. Ken's journey: tough childhood circumstances, early career success making millions, decade-long battle with drug addiction, breaking records in endurance sports, successful life. Galpin read Ken's book in one sitting, saving the last pages. Lessons valuable regardless of running races. Ken unique guest; tactical info for endurance racing and running, entertaining and inspiring.
Galpin welcomes Ken. Never had anyone like him. Ken thanks for the honor, notes this will be the least technical conversation on heart rate or training metrics, but offers perceived effort.
Galpin read Ken's book except last five pages in one day, saved them post-conversation. Ken says last five pages best, sent last chapter to wife who sobbed knowing the story's end. Editor: "If they cry, they buy."
Galpin teared up reading book multiple times. Similar backgrounds in some ways, polar opposite in others.
Galpin recounts mutual friend Rob's story in thick Boston accent: Ken running 150-mile race in Mongolia, at 100 miles runs up to a guy, says "the funny thing is I never get tired," bolts off, guy quits.
Ken confirms true. Racing in Mongolia, 155-mile six-day stage race, self-supported (carry everything needed plus mandatory safety equipment, provided tent nightly and water). Stages: 21 miles, 28, 25, 50, 26, last 5-6 miles. One stage per day, all start together.
Competitors: Swiss mountaineer Reinhold Hugo (or Hugo Reinhold), leading by 12 minutes on 50-mile stage; David Danu, Israeli soldier, tough tiny savage. Ken ran up to David with one headphone (not supposed to have, but low volume music for motivation, required phone). Said, "Hey David, you know something, I never get tired and I feel great today. Let's do this." David didn't quit (came second overall), but started walking on uneven pasture footing. Left with Reinhold; won stage by 90 minutes, won race.
Straight-through might have been easier; hated camp time, burning 8-10,000 calories/day but only 2500 calories carried, managed daily. Learned tricks from Racing the Planet series veterans (races in deserts, rough terrain). Felt like outsider initially, said few words first day and half. Killian Ryan (Irish, family owns Ryan Air, gentleman) nice; after day 1 (Ken 4th), said others thought they'd wear him down as marathoner without multi-day experience. Ken: "No one wears me down. I'm killing everyone."
Participating isn't hard. Competing is hard. Trying to win is hard.
Book title: Everything You Want is on the Other Side of Hard. Everything worth having is hard (e.g., PhD, starting podcast, finding/researching guests).
Felt foolish at times: why think he could win? Lucky to survive. Wanted to win.
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Ken hyper-prepared for marathons: analyzed track, weather.
For Mongolia: zero ultras, from 26.2 longest to 5x that (marathon a day plus 50-miler for 6 days), 4 weeks prep.
Won Tokyo World Championships 50+, best marathoner over 50 that day (not implying fastest ever). Second/third ran 2:25; Ken best 2:28. Beat both by <1 minute via tactics/strategy.
What I did that day was like someone else was executing for me.
Scott Daru (then Equinox CEO, former Michigan Business School dean, now Ironman CEO) connected, told about race. Others like Badwater, Western States, Ironman Hawaii didn't speak to him; this did. Signed up thinking "I'm winning that."
After Tokyo, won every race entered in some capacity (age group in majors, overall Myrtle Beach Marathon day before turning 50 in 2:30 flat).
Emailed race director (American woman in Hong Kong), sent clippings, accepted. Researched gear/food (no camping/hunting experience), bought backpacks. Trained with 20 lbs (water/towels) simulating load: heavy, slowed pace from 7:00 to 8:30 at same effort.
Rationale: no one had more cumulative miles; endurance base, toughness, could learn gear. Experience key in marathons/Ironman.
Wife drove to airport: not excited, felt like electric chair, pressure from sponsors. Mindset shift on jetway: no victim, mind is truth—picture dominating, not failing. Fun to be hero.
20-hour travel to Ulaanbaatar, no sleep, obsessed. Slept in most expensive/worst hotel (tiles falling off shower).
Race started sooner: bused to desert Saturday, extra tent night (hated tents despite outdoorsy youth; wanted Four Seasons comfort).
Biggest concerns: boarding bags overhead, sleeping on tent floor with 3 stranger women. Comfortable with physical suffering (noble), not discomfort/sleep issues. First night: sideways rain, tent nearly blew away, water leaked.
Outsider vibe, planned to kill everyone. Ripped through first aid station (5-6 miles in, ~7:00 pace, sustainable without pack normally): asked if must stop, no, blasted through. Others followed, dragged into deep water.
Fully loaded pack (food light, mandatory gear: sleeping bag, pad). Trails, rivers, soaked shoes. 3-5 miles to go: steep mountain climb, competitors used poles (Ken didn't), hellish, false peaks. Ridge line dangerous (could die falling).
Back at camp: "How did you get insurance for this race?"
After getting up and over the mountain along the ridge line, in third place, came down into a depression with a dried riverbed about 100 yards across. Stepped in it; thick layer of cake mud turned into thick clay mud that covered shoes and wouldn't come off. Hates being dirty, wet, uncomfortable. Tried going slower to avoid falling but fell down, covered in mud. Fell a few times. Others came in completely covered, only eyes visible. At finish, thought "Oh my god, what have I done? This sucks. Can't believe I have to be here for five more days." Killian said they were going to kill me, super confident. Responded "Don't worry about it, Killian. Tomorrow's another day." Internally thought "Oh my god, what have I got myself into?"
Michael Easter spent a month or five weeks above the Arctic Circle, first hot water in airplane bathroom felt remarkable. Complained about airplane food before, but that was the most comfortable chair ever. Similar feeling returning to camps without Four Seasons, but at least water to wash mud off face. Given water but told "Do not waste this. What we have is what we brought." Used it anyway with Italian guys. Beg for forgiveness, never ask permission. Italian guy Felipe held water bottle over head for quick shower with concentrated camp soap. Washed everything with clothes on, hung them up. Had camp clothes. Finishing far ahead of girls meant whole tent to self. First night shared tent, sleeping in middle, rocks underneath. Got along well with girls, arrived first, cleared rocks under tent. Told Mongolian tent setters to kick big rocks out. Set spot right inside door for easy bathroom access. Appreciate little things when you have nothing. In prison, inmates dialed in their cells; touching it started World War II. Called tent "the house" like in jail, told girls "don't let anyone in the house if I'm not here."
Marathon time around 2:30. These 20-25 mile stages probably five hours, but hard to say pace. One day hands and knees scaling giant rock structure, took an hour. Pictures online if Google "Ken Rideout Mongolia"; climbing steep rock, told race official someone will fall and die. Older people there too. Official said that's why in Mongolia, not US.
Didn't notice if others used heart rate monitors; some probably tech/data nerds. Norman Stadler, Ironman world champion, had power meter sponsor but taped it over. To win, doesn't matter what data says; have to cover moves. If guy takes off, decide if need to go with him or bet he can't sustain. Big difference surviving vs. winning; intuition needed to cover moves. In book, last five pages, guy ran past at 5:20 pace at three miles, age group competitor unknown, thought he'd blow up.
Everyone shared ultra coaching experience, but if coaching should trounce me, yet finishing hours behind.
Next day 28 miles, hurting, ran own pace, not pushing to ensure finish.
"Hurting" means body like after racing 21 miles to win: completely depleted, no sleep (red eye, slept 4pm-2am, circadian rhythm shot), up since 2am night before first stage, couldn't sleep in rain, anxious. Sore beyond words, back hurts, chafed everywhere from backpack (no tape yet, later taped whole body with thick cushioned kt tape like felt on one side). Backpack rubbed raw burn marks on waist, shoulders; smashed lower back every step, swelling above waistline like compartment syndrome or worst bruise, looked like leprosy. Medics said heat rash, in perfect world no backpack but 5 days left.
One day in: blisters, rashes, burns (not much sunburn, decent genetics, lips chapped but not crazy). Looked terrible, underfueled (ate 2500 calories, burned 7000+ first day, losing weight), hydrated beyond with Element salts (two packs/day, 7-10g sodium? third replete). Strategic after people dropped out day 1; took their food, ate anything (noodles, sardines from guy throwing them away; sardines rich in calories/fat, no pride, combat mode).
No prep for food, just three meals/day Backpacker's Pantry: breakfast (MRE-like scrambled eggs/sausage/potatoes, add hot water), lunch (Thai noodles freeze-dried chicken), dinner (macaroni cheese, beef stroganoff). Few dense meal replacement bars (150 cal? didn't taste good, forced down). Aid stations only water. Survival race, no PB&J. Carried CamelBak flask with hose, two 12oz collapsible bottles. Aid every 5-10 miles, spread out on 50-mile stage. Swiss leader almost dropped dead, sat in desert, aid truck helped, walked into camp dark hours later, refused help, stoic, didn't drop. Someone died previous year in sand dunes, extracted by camel.
Four weeks prep, no strategy; if knew, might have talked self out.
50+ miles then ceremonial 5-mile stage into Genghis Khan fortress village on bombed-out roads. Killian said take it easy with 90-minute lead. Responded "I will die before I let someone win. This is a race to the death." Swiss guy fought for stage win, drag racing to finish line first. Crossed into fortress: "Oh my god, I did it. I won."
Similar relief to winning age group world championships Chicago (won by <1 min), called wife emotional. She won four of six world marathon majors (Tokyo), age groups, Mongolia; initially "cool, good for you," then realized huge, cried. To him, Olympics-level: from dead dog loser degenerate drug addict 10-15 years prior to world champion age group. Poured heart/soul, massive relief.
World record breakers, gold medalists feel relief first, not joy. Then post-goal depression, crash off high.
Tried mediocre road, unfulfilling. Fulfilling things involve suffering/struggle: getting sober, being dad (default selfish/lazy, kids ask to play, usually yes but sometimes need quiet). Balance led to drugs coping with emptiness/void. Discipline, goal-setting, enjoying suffering brought peace without drugs. Survival mode, flawed, but easy road doesn't pay; road to heaven feels like hell, road to hell feels like heaven initially, ends differ. Start journey with discipline/hard work.
Suffering core ethos; feels safe, know what to expect.
You feel safe in familiar environments where you know what to expect. The rest of the world shuts down when suffering hits, a common experience among ultra runners like Cam Hanes. It's an oxymoron to enjoy pain or suffering, but the grounding feature persists.
Defining suffering in races: Depleted, feeling like you can't keep going but pushing anyway. Difference between unsustainable sprinting early versus getting as uncomfortable as possible while believing you can finish. World records and big marathon wins are negative splits or close—first half not slower than second. People convince themselves to bank time early, but survival pace is much slower (e.g., 10-20 seconds/mile conservative early vs. 1 minute/mile slower surviving).
For 5:40/mile marathon pace, run 5:20 for first 10 miles. Experience and intelligence key to reining in pace when feeling strong early. Suffering is all-encompassing: emotional (agonizing over pace, calculations) and physical. Brain fog after 15-20 miles; default to worst-case math (e.g., 6 min/mile, or 7 min/mile last 3 miles = 21 min). Depleted glycogen, balancing calories, hydration—emotionally distressing on big day. Physical pain like 1500m sprints with 20s rest.
Not enjoying suffering in the moment, but relief and euphoria at finish is magic—even collapsing needing IVs. Rewarding to drain fully as test of human spirit.
To like-minded: magical testing limits. Not converting others.
Previously filled void with drugs (opioids) for euphoria, masking pain/trauma. Drugs deepen the hole; stop digging, address root. Happy, healthy people don't do drugs—have outlets. Drugs sabotage dopamine/serotonin system with unnatural spikes, dulling natural rewards (e.g., Bora Bora vacation feels dulled post-drugs).
Getting sober: proudest accomplishment, hardest. Easier to continue addiction. 2-4 weeks detox hell (manic, depressed, suicidal); delayed 10 years due to withdrawal fear. 15+ attempts, sometimes half-assed, up to 1-2 months sober. Used Subutex (like methadone)—blocks opioids, stops cravings but addictive; maintenance use as hard to quit as opioids.
Running started as penance during withdrawals (wanted to kill self running). Found suffering as salvation, replacing drug feelings with worthy cause.
Running initially self-punishment, now altered focus: physical time from anxiety, hard to have thoughts when can't breathe for hours. Target providing purpose. Won races post-sobriety (started mid-30s). Never used drugs while competing—heart rate chaos unsustainable. Got sober 2010; prior triathlons experimental.
Competitive but not obsessed with winning like host. Wants to compete maximally; winning less relevant. Host's win obsession tied to trauma/insecurities, wasted time from addiction—winning made up for feeling like loser.
Wanting to win is superpower; led to success (family, financial, professional). Shared traits: obnoxiously ambitious, confident (arrogance as cousin). Ken's best trait: ambition over toughness—family may not have had drive to improve.
Born ambitious; taught self toughness. Bullied in Alabama high school, grew up violent Somerville—scared, didn't want to fight. Joined boxing club to get comfortable being scared/uncomfortable. Superpower: so tough no one tests you.
Teaches kids: do things scared (e.g., middle son timid in basketball—get body in front). Turning point: coach advised quarterback to deliver hits, not take them. In conflict, hit first—don't wait (tell kids: punch, then keep punching).
Empathetic despite toughness; sensitive, cares deeply. Pre-race pressure cooker; post-race nerdy, friendly. Can't be loosey-goosey and empty tank.
Pro fighters unrecognizable pre-fight. Athletes saying "ready to die" not far off—mind accepts "if you die, you die." Been suicidal from addiction; pleasure from maxing physical self huge.
First Ironman Hawaii qualification: DNF'd run when hard—most humiliating. Emptiness changed endurance career; vowed never quit again. Keep going depleted takes toughness. Fighters refuse surrender verbally but give in subtly—live with it.
Everyone says "win or die trying" until dying part. "Quit many races in my mind and forced body to keep going until broke tape."
Malibu Half Marathon example (best half: 1:10 at 5:22 pace): Led, won prior year. Halfway ~1:12 (tough course). Turned around leading.
Huntington Beach Marathon: 2:30 flat, 2nd place. Next year Rob Moore won 2:30 flat.
Rob Moore dominated post-Ken left LA for Nashville; sub-9hr Ironman.
Element: electrolyte drink (1,000mg sodium, 200mg potassium, 60mg magnesium, no sugar). Hydration critical; 1% dehydration decreases performance. Water alone insufficient if sweating. Used daily in heat/training.
Ken Rideout describes initial meeting: typically skeptical of training partners, but quickly respected the other person after they rode 100 miles together, calling him "savage."
Half Marathon Race Dynamics
Running half marathon with a one-minute lead at halfway point. Between miles 9-11, competitor caught up. Initially thought, "damn it, I'm going to get second place." Competitor ran next to him without passing decisively. Realized competitor might have emptied tank to catch him. Decided to step on the gas.
Competitor's dad handed him water (minor rules violation in small race, not an issue). Ken demanded the water: "Hey buddy, give me that water when you're done." Drank some, threw it away.
Competitor looked like young Prefontaine with little shorts and mustache; Ken was 48. Put in a surge, opened a small gap. Competitor didn't cover it. sprinted last two miles, hyperventilating, hurting, beat him by 10 seconds.
Post-race talk: Told competitor, if he had passed decisively, Ken was mentally tapped out and wouldn't have chased. "The minute you didn't, you gave me new life and sealed your own fate." Dad said, "Are you listening? You just cost yourself a win."
No one can suffer more than me.
Mental Tactics During Race
At mile 9, hurting at 10/10 or 9/10 effort. Self-talk to maintain pace (e.g., 5:20 vs 5:24 pace). Trained with Rob and others, using tactics like half-wheeling (staying close but not ahead). Ran uncomfortably close, unsettled opponent without dirty tactics. Evaluated breathing, hands, face, steps for weakness. Sensed opponent hanging on. Surged again; opponent couldn't cover.
Opponent stayed within 10 seconds to finish. References LA marathon finish where leader collapsed and lost despite diving. Emphasizes keeping head on swivel, racing tactics like drifting to block in track.
Avoiding Loss vs Winning, Mechanics
All of it: fear of losing triggered initial panic ("oh my god, I'm going to get second"), self-talk ("what the f are you talking about? Don't you dare give up"), form check on self and opponent. Brain as supercomputer calculating like car racing (lines, slipstream) or Tom Brady reading defense instinctively.
Analogy to speed reading: brain fills gaps, calculates patterns.
Bike racing most strategic. Combat: fighters see patterns, not punches in real time (too fast for vision/reaction). Awkward/unskilled fighters succeed without tells. Baseball: left-handed pitchers harder due to limited data patterns; can't see spin in real time but recognize packages (breathing, sweat, elbow flare).
Experience = recognizing patterns intuitively, hard to simulate.
Train like you can't possibly win (fear of not studying/preparing, pay now or pay later with poor performance). Compete like you can't possibly lose.
800s track workout hell but magical when clicking (hyperventilating, ticking off repeats). Yasso 800s: 10-12 x 800m in 2:30 with 2-min recovery predicts 2:30 marathon. True fitness test.
Dirty fuel: create enemies, naysayers (irrational childhood fears), prove doubters wrong. Clean fuel: positive, represent self/family with honor/integrity, empty tank, class. Better mindset; brain doesn't distinguish self-talk from reality. Harsh self-talk (never to friends/competitors).
Realization: talks to wife like self (e.g., yelled about car crash/dent, flat tire incident—forgot nail in tire, drove on 7 PSI, blamed her then self). Venting self-criticism externally. Stem from harsh expectations, unresolved trauma, shame. Tires fixable; let go of mistakes.
Never rah-rah motivated (Instagram, songs feel cliche). Raw candid journey inspirational.
No need for ultramarathons or races.
Health (mental/physical) top responsibility, more than children/marriage—without it, useless to anyone. Avoid burdening family with avoidable issues (smoking, junk food, no exercise). Parents' avoidable health problems make children unhappy.
Take responsibility: eat healthy, exercise regularly for longevity. Muscle = organ of longevity.
Baby steps:
- Start with 10-minute walk, build to 1-hour walks several times/week.
- Add weight (rocking backpack) for rucking.
Post-hard effort feeling available daily (e.g., runner's high walking hill home after run, absorbs bad news better). Avoid phone first hour awake; handle issues immediately (prefers calling over texting).
Ken prefers direct calls over texting. In a perfect routine, he wakes up, has coffee after Huberman protocol, drinks 16 ounces of water with Element first for rehydration, checks news, stocks, finance, watches sports, and slow rolls into the day. Kids go to school at 8:30; he runs 8:30-10:00, often taking business calls during maintenance 10-mile runs but focuses during race training workouts twice a week and long runs. He eats after running, follows a strict regimen, and finds peace in discipline.
A man without discipline is a man with no freedom. Because when you have discipline, you're free to do what you want the rest of the day. When you have no discipline, you're prisoner to your emotions.
Freedom means doing what you need to do first, then enjoying the rest; lack of discipline leads to napping when lazy or eating pie when hungry.
Maintenance: 70 miles/week baseline, daily 10 miles. Peaks at 100 miles/week occasionally, typically 80-90 miles for marathons. Acknowledges benefits of rest days or shorter runs but prioritizes mental health over optimization. Training is personal, not performative, ignoring online coaches. Goal is best version of self for family, avoiding past pitfalls like drugs and cheat codes; easy road doesn't pay well.
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10 miles daily is non-negotiable. First marathon in 20s: 3:20 with minimal training, in cotton gear, chafed, no gels, fantasizing about food, dehydrated. Played hockey (college), football (college), every sport as kid; hockey/football anaerobic, not endurance. Ran 2-3 more at 3:20-3:30. No marathons again until 2012 after 1996 attempt he hated. Doesn't enjoy running: "I got to go run," like chores.
Got sober 2010, started triathlons: half marathons 1:30, 1:24, 1:17. Moved to LA January 2016, met Rob, trained in Palisades. 2015 Ironman Wisconsin post-fourth son: 6th/7th overall, 9:30ish, bike under 5 hours, poor swim. Abandoned swimming (1:10 vs. 1 hour trained) to focus run/bike, missed 2nd by 10 minutes.
2.5-mile ocean swim, 112-mile bike on hard roads with 6-mile climb, dangerous 40-50 mph crosswinds on aero bars risking lava crashes (like sandpaper/meat grinder). Marathon starts 1-2 PM in Hawaiian heat.
Not pace or glycogen, but chafing, blisters, bowel issues, no clean socks, wind in face (worse than cold for hunters). Mental grind: 1000 voices screaming to stop vs. one desperate voice to push and win. Overcome hyperventilation, dehydration, sore legs.
49% of you wants to quit. I don't need it to be 99%. I just need 1% more says go.
Build 51% by deciding to win or lose; chose losing path before (drugs, suicidal). Traded bad addiction for running addiction (per Rich Roll); prefers this one.
Not prescribing running or building tribe; it's his vehicle. Apply to podcasting, sports science, training, hedge funds, AI engineering: hardest worker wins. Exceptions like Elon (unique brain), but prize comes with process (Kobe, Tom Brady, Elon). Brady: psychopath Monday-Friday, lunatic on practice field for 7 Super Bowls.
What separates elite athletes: toughness and try harder translate across sports; skill/diet less so. Try harder is consistent path to improvement, the "other side of hard."
Never felt overtrained except post-Mongolia (weeks to recover after daily extreme racing). Tells kids: doesn't care about talent, only who tries hardest—visible savage on field, emotion shows. Come early/stay late at work; can't fake long-term without belief. World is mirror: project toughness externally until it reflects back. Pretend not scared; actions matter over thoughts. Better hard hit than emptiness of not trying—no one fooled.
Coached UFC fighter with 7-8 wins, title shot due, career ended young due to bad luck/timing/injuries. Post-fight analysis: hardest part was hyping up—red flag.
A fighter couldn't adopt the required vulgar, life-and-death self-talk mindset and retired three fights later. Revelation: he never got comfortable being uncomfortable. Sports psychologist Dr. Lenny Weisman hates the saying "get comfortable being uncomfortable" because athletes remain scared, hate the race, and dread it daily. People never truly get comfortable; instead, develop a willingness to do it anyway.
I'm comfortable knowing it's coming and doing it anyway.
You're comfortable with waking up wishing the race would be cancelled or praying for a power outage before a boxing match, but you go anyway. Comfort means knowing you'll show up despite fear, insecurities, and thoughts of failure like getting knocked out.
I'm comfortable knowing I'm still going, but I'm scared.
How to get that comfort: Put yourself out there through competitive processes. Without it, you miss important life lessons for real adversity.
Wife diagnosed with cancer last year, terrifying for her, him, and children. After days of crying and feeling like victims, he said:
Enough of the shit. We got to suck it up and lean into this. Someone's coming to fight us and we can either get the shit kicked out of us or we can fight back.
She agreed. Best case: mastectomy surgery went well, no harsh chemo, now recovering. His mentality from crazy pursuits made coping easier and rubbed off on her.
With kids: "When shit gets hard, show them who you really are. Be tough out there. No matter what, we're going to leave, go get donuts. I'm still going to love you, but we'll have much more fun if you try your hardest."
Youngest son wrestles, got pinned twice in first competitive tournament against kids with four years experience. Response: Get comfortable with losing—not as losses, but lessons. Champions process failures: "Did you learn something? You had him, then did this wrong?"
Everyone hates losing and cries; it shows you care. Don't let it define you as a loser. World champions lost as kids. Jiu-jitsu example: Everyone gets tapped out multiple times per session training with better opponents to improve.
White belt vs. blue/purple belt: Think you'll twist them, but technique dominates—calm under pressure like physical chess.
Youngest son Cameron does jiu-jitsu; little girls with flawless technique get the better of him. He realizes gender doesn't matter, technique is available to everyone. Staying calm in uncomfortable environments.
Son: "I'm so much stronger, can pick her up, take her down, but on ground she triangles me."
Response: Learn what she's doing; not about strength, but intelligence. Both strength and intelligence critical; neither beats the other alone. Best sport for kids: Jiu-jitsu—worst athlete or nerdy studious kid can excel via intelligence.
Worst sport: Wrestling—requires comfort with discomfort, physically demanding, painful when it doesn't go well, full peg the whole time. Wrestlers sweat savagely, every muscle working differently; jiu-jitsu allows calming for moves.
Setbacks became strengths: thrown out of college team, decade drug addiction, fired from first Wall Street job for slapping a bully harasser (preferred firing over bullying).
After firing (making $40k, barely paying rent), couple bigger Enron traders wanted him: "That guy's crazy, slapped a guy—I want him protecting my orders." Within a year: making over $1M/year, living in London, flying Concorde, new Porsche, beautiful house. Fired Thursday 1996/7, new $80k job Monday (more than parents/friends made).
Single, no kids, everything—but money didn't make him happier. Took insecurities everywhere; developed drug problem. Poor to rich to addict: none made him comfortable. Answers are internal; best things free like hugging children, family dinners.
Around table: Wife asks "rose and thorn"—what good/bad happened? Kids positive: "Got good grade, no thorns today." Celebrate: Use old plates saying "Tensei had a great day" for teens.
Teen daughter hates dad driving up to friends, but he does. Book's greatest gift: Kids proud, ask him to sign for friends/teachers.
Assistant coach Ravenwood High (kids' school) vs. Brentwood. Helped girls team beat Brentwood (four D1 scholarship girls). Fingerprinted, trained to work with kids.
Fighter mentality to suburban conservative kids: "Set the tone, be aggressive, physical in turns, hold lane. This is racing, not tickling contest. Don't defer to football homecoming—your race more important. Don't effing give them anything."
Talked firmly: "Think you're nerds, they're tougher? Let them beat you. Believe you're tougher, kill them."
Results: Won states; sophomore girl 5th in state; top three (twins) to Georgetown/Dartmouth. Connection to Ben True (sub-60 half marathoner, Olympic trials 4th 10K/5K), wife Sarah Graff (Olympics triathlon 4th). Helped recruit via NASCAR friend Landon Castle.
At regional: Girl in 2nd/3rd, 100-200yds to go: "Don't you dare give up. She's fading. Catch her." She did, won.
Coaches/teachers know him; prefers kids' school but helps where asked. At Cal State Fullerton 13 years, no athletes worked with despite famous MLB players (program multiple national championships)—no one asked.
Impact via book/social media: Messages changed outlooks, cried reading support. Speaks to local football teams on resilience, addiction: Spent 10 years ideating suicide, desperate, tried fixing alone (news: can't always). Son struggling school: "Can't do alone, like addiction treatment. It's okay—reach out, ask for help."
Recent faith journey: Success leaves void; others have peace. Greatest gift from overcoming addiction: ability to impact/service others.
No greater reward than being of service.
Not for Nice Guy award. Giving meaningful gifts > receiving Rolex—impacts life.
Helping others through their life challenges is the greatest gift. Being able to help other people is much more important than anything you could win or do for yourself. This all comes back to the suffering. It's not winning the race. It's the process of preparing for the race and race day itself.
When adopting my daughter, I complained the whole time living in Ethiopia. My wife lived there for two months; I was there for a week in a guest house. The bed had no mattress, just a box spring like a hardwood floor. I had to buy an egg crate from a local hardware store in Addis Ababa to put on it. Now when walking and smelling campfire or wood burning, it reminds me of Ethiopia with romantic good memories. She says I complained every day, just like complaining about getting ready for a race or how hard it was. No one can take that experience away. There's something romantic about the suffering you went through.
The race in Mongolia was miserable; I hated every second. Now I laugh about sitting around the campfire at night with people trying to get warm and talking. Volunteers could enter the race the following year in the caravan traveling camp to camp. A group of Italian guys from the Dolomites were awesome. One had an adult son in race support. One night they offered Parmesan cheese from Italy, a chunk freshly shaved, not a crumb—a wheel. Then he added olive oil from a mini bottle, not even in plastic. They weren't trying to win; they were there for the experience. After the 50-mile stage in a picturesque camp with a creek full of livestock, I washed clothes in it and got hives and rash from pollution. Later, the naked Italian guys were in it carefree. Next day, everyone had rashes. Laughing every night about the Parmesan was refreshing. If they had a pizza, I'd call race officials.
Romanticizing suffering is like getting a PhD—days of doubt thinking you'll never finish the dissertation. Reflecting back, it was the most difficult thing, but the best things in life are hard. If you do them, you have memories and experiences no one can take away. Camaraderie from suffering is like in military or races—the time in between, campfire moments, laughing 10 years later about breakdowns or walks. Training with Rob Moore built unbreakable bonds—shared hotel rooms hundreds of times, crazy races, delayed flights, Ironmans worldwide. Laugh hardest with him from shared suffering and oddball things. Same with friend Dan from wildly irresponsible moves that 90+% paid off, 10% pure suffering.
No one can take experiences away. It's not about going to Mongolia and winning; it's having the balls to go and try. Did a race in Kenya, came third, running past giraffes and elephants—experiences mine forever. London time making millions was cool but comes and goes. Landed helicopter on Burj Al Arab in Dubai when brand new, stayed at Cipriani in Venice, every Four Seasons in Europe—loved experiencing life, making up for childhood lacks, look back with fondness despite being whacked out on drugs spending like a drunken sailor.
Henry Rollins, Black Flag musician and huge weightlifter/strength training lover, wrote essay "The Iron" and later said he has no talent, just tenacity. Resonates because we share pasts—not good students, not good runners initially. At some point decided to be the best, unstoppable. Create enemies or self-impression. Only you define you. Talent cannot beat grit when grit shows up every day and talent takes days off. You're going to fail; I've failed tons. Misunderstood failure as end of road. Where I grew up, losing was normal, but stealing unacceptable—no shortcuts. Had tenacity to outwork city kids with advantages; created that enemy to get out.
Sports taught lessons giving shot at professional level—no concept of real world, never met lawyer, PhD, famous person. Everyone from home just normal.
Had no plan, just showed up commanding respect, didn't always get it, not easy. Easy road never pays well. Everything wanted down path of maximum resistance— if easy, everyone would do it, not novel. Winning race or PhD requires grit. Studied sociology, became finance guy on trading desks, made lots of money—not the answer, but stop worrying about perfect now. In running, prescribe workouts but don't agonize splits—show up, adjust. Coach Mario Foli provided roadmap from A to B; detours happen, shift long run from Saturday to Monday, adjust little workouts. No straight line in life—just move ball down field, take steps weekly. Be realistic, have bad days, mental health days.
Time at Onsite trauma healing center (read in book) most important week—hated every second, joked crossing off sessions like prison with roommate Eric Decker (NFL receiver), paid $10,000. Take responsibility—no one does for you what matters. Can't fake through; know if giving best, advancing weekly. Get sober, show up daily—can't imagine what happens with best effort. Longest overnight success, toiled years in anonymity until noticed as good runner. Rich Roll podcast spread story, got better at running, book deal. No roadmap or straight line—control only your effort.
From 3:30 marathon (average), below average first 25 years life/circumstances, grit/effort/consistency to 2:33 (cut hour). Brought in Mario to 2:29, then 2:28. First 90% solo; need help to finish. To 2:33: 10 miles/day, once/week 12 weeks 18-22 miles progression runs (faster each mile), 10-15 mile hard runs when good, slower recovery. Never less than 12. For beginners: don't need coach, just run. To drop 2:50 to 2:45: run more. Got to 2:33 via volume, not fancy track workouts. Then plateaued 2:34-2:35, brought Mario, hit 2:28, under 2:30 four/five times after 50. Boston: 2:30:25 age group win, called wife—pissed not faster; she said sprint last section. That was sprinting 20-26 miles.
Don't let perfect be enemy of good starting. Move mountain first, polish later. Get 90% instinct, then coach/precision sooner.
Fuel early/often—don't wait hungry/thirsty. Water every aid station, alternate Gatorade. Calories every 30 minutes (e.g., Maurten gels, made for distance runners). Morning caffeine for routine/bowel movements. Consistent with training. Cut caffeine week before, introduce caffeinated gels 18-20 miles—big difference. Halfway is 20 miles; last 10K difficult but best racing it. Tokyo marathon: last 2-3K one had Strava KOM faster than pros, ~5:30 pace finish. Perfect execution: not destroyed. Berlin 2:35 needed ambulance. Hydrate/fuel early, save stimulants 18-20, full send last 10K. Block out—hard, blister no big deal, won't die. Medics everywhere. Body takes more than you think.
Ken Rideout shares an example of dealing with Instagram solicitations. He told a solicitor, "Listen, dude. I'm not spending money on a thing. You want to make some videos for me? Be my guest." The person made the videos, which Ken would have been charged X for, and Ken paid him X because it was quality work. He values paying for services like Instagram help when they deliver results. Leading with service—showing what you can do first—builds trust. People won't pay a lot for promises; they pay for results, not effort.
The host acknowledges Ken's enormous effort and notes he has more questions but Ken must leave for a book launch. The host praises Ken's story as incredible and admits it's the only memoir he's ever read that he couldn't put down. He's excited to finish the last five pages on the plane tomorrow and will share his thoughts. He calls the book incredible and thanks Ken.
Ken thanks the host and audience, offers to be of service: "Don't email me crazy shit and ask me to have a phone call with you, but if I can help with anything, please let me know."
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