Joe Rogan Experience #2442 - Ehsan Ahmad
These notes were generated by AI and may contain inaccuracies.
Joe Rogan Experience #2442 with Ehsan Ahmad. Ehsan now has a website to promote, first time after two appearances on JRE. Paid professionals to build it as he's not tech-savvy. Squarespace recommended as easy setup.
Patrice O'Neal on Opie and Anthony
Watched Patrice O'Neal's Opie and Anthony appearances on Spotify. They interacted meanly with mentally disabled people (carousel), glad past that era. Funny how each ended promoting their website.
Exciting watching careers launch at Mothership: Cam Patterson from Kill Tony spot to regular to Saturday Night Live. Christina Mariani sells out Comedy Store rooms. Payton Ruddy, Dylan Carina blew up via social media. Muscer's new set super solid.
Austin Comedy Narrative
Fun environment of comics working jokes. External narrative from jealous outsiders who don't visit or talk to locals. Walled garden concept: insiders support each other, outsiders feel excluded and criticize.
Connections to Trump via Tony, Shane fuel right-wing labels, trans jokes. Massive projection: leftist comedy spaces exclude right-wingers, treat badly. Mothership green room 80% progressive/left-wing staff.
Immigration and Right-Wing Definition
Right-wing questioned: storming gates with illegal immigrants bad? Rampant undocumented spending in California, Tim Walz. ICE shooting lady, grabbing/deporting American citizens (dragging into snow) insane, but job crazy.
Perplexity AI estimates ~11 million illegal immigrant interactions over 4 years (10x Austin population). Aided entry, flown to swing states (Mike Benz documented), given EBT cards, Red Cross maps, cell phones. Migrants confused by sudden hunts; ICE agents in crossfire.
Positive Law Enforcement Interactions
Online shows only bad cop/ICE clips; millions routine: "How you doing? Paperwork? Slow down." Saves from burglars common but unseen. ICE: thousands violent criminals caught (net positive), not thousands citizens deported.
Recruited via local TV/UFC ads, regular people minimal training. Shooting video: agent filming with phone (no body cam), unhinged lady. Same agent dragged 300 feet by car recently.
Deportation Stats
No public record total violent criminals from recent raids. ICE data: 5-8% arrests/detentions late 2025/early 2026 violent/serious property convictions. 500,000 deported + 1.6 million voluntary; 8% = many violent criminals. Perplexity bias: "small minority" downplays.
Violent out good, but nonviolent (e.g., job-seekers from Mexico) shouldn't prison. ICE stopped detailed breakdowns. El Salvador deportations bad optics.
8% violent (murderers, dealers) huge if signing off. Democrats opened border, flew people, court orders blocked Abbott's Texas wall: can't stop law-breaking? Census counts illegals for seats; California loses 1-2 House seats without (expert sims). ~2.8 million undocumented CA 2007.
Political Strategy and Shifts
Every minority group shifted right 2024; import more to overcome. Rig politics via humans (e.g., Ohio Haitians, Somalis/Walz called white supremacy). Victimhood mentality repels hustling immigrants. Biden: "If you don't vote for me, you ain't black." Hostage vote energy.
Perplexity better than Wikipedia, scans internet.
England/Canada Clamping Rights
Arrests for social media posts; US free speech ingrained.
Biden's pulled-back face from failed youthening attempts. Plastic surgery ages horribly (alien look). Lip fillers, facial fillers problematic. Buccal fat removal ghoul-like; face fat youthful.
Anti-Aging Science
By 60s, medicine reverses aging (mice success, genes as disease). Surgery example: 69-70yo woman looks 40 post-op (before/after shocking).
Autopsy (HBO, Michael Baden): Carl Tanzler (Key West, 1930s) preserved lover's corpse 7 years in plaster/wires/hangers, artificial vagina, constant perfume to mask decay (discovered by sister). Inserted paper tube. Another: Cuban doctor similar. Ingenuity for necrophilia.
Epstein Autopsy
Baden did Epstein autopsy: wounds consistent with ligature strangulation, not hanging. Ehsan recorded special Oct 25, has Epstein jokes; in meantime they
They released files but still haven't released them all; initial release was heavily redacted, like blacked-out pages or the Onion article about CIA using black highlighter. Recent federal judge blocked lawmaker's effort to force DOJ to release more Epstein files, ruling lack of jurisdiction to appoint outside expert for compliance with law making all prosecution files public. Missed deadlines despite campaigning on it, standing outside courthouse with binders.
Law Chess to Delay Release
Federal judge lacks jurisdiction; judges sometimes step outside boundaries if unethical, but being charitable, they can't. Discussion on how government plays legal games to prevent release.
How can someone go to jail for sex trafficking without naming victims trafficked to? Maxwell convicted without identifying clients—billionaires, heads of state, prominent scientists eliminated from trial. Suggests backdoor deal: serve time or be killed; she's working with them. Analogy: if charged with hash distribution but no buyers named (only sold to rich/famous like JP Morgan heads), no crime beyond possession with intent.
If I was Ghislaine's lawyer, I'd be like, 'To who?'
No one really expected jail time without constant pressure for leaks.
FBI/DOJ Records and Co-Conspirators
2019 records reference ~10 alleged Epstein co-conspirators, including Maxwell and Jean-Luc Brunel (French modeling agent, died in custody 2022). Co-conspirators facilitated/acquired girls (Brunel owned modeling agency). Mark Epstein emerged briefly, claiming email wasn't about Clinton but implied knowledge of island activities; denied Clinton but not the act (Trump sucked 'Bubba's' dick?). Disappeared after. 2008 non-prosecution agreement protected co-conspirators, slap on wrist allowing continuation.
Tapes of secretly gay politicians/pedophiles exist; Franklin scandal—reporter and son killed after uncovering underage sex ring. Dennis Hastert (Speaker of the House 1999-2007) convicted pedophile: sodomized 4th-grade boy in school bathroom, threatened victim; statute expired, convicted of evading bank reporting to pay off victims secretly (served 15 months). Involved in school scandal like Sandusky. Strom Thurmond, Thomas Jefferson, Roy Moore precedents. Political machine covers via mutual threats like Game of Thrones/House of Cards.
Kevin Spacey Discussion
Greatest villain/creep actor with southern charm; weird fireplace video post-witness death (people dropped like flies). Genius artist who wouldn't have been caught pre-#MeToo; grabbed dicks, effective strategy in Hollywood (many let him). One story: minor (~14), working together.
Gay community views older man/teenage boy differently than man/teenage girl. Milo Yiannopoulos on podcast: molested as teen, called himself predator. Call Me by Your Name (older man/younger boy) seen as fanfiction romance. Contrast: high school football player/hot science teacher (35, kids)—guys celebrate; female pedophiles become teachers. South Park episode; Zach Galifianakis joke: boy high-fived to death by friends.
Zach Galifianakis warned he was off meds (aggressive yelling at audience). At improv: shirt off, swung like flag, drummed seats, energized half-full room with charisma. At memorial. Farms now, did Baskets (FX, Louis Anderson Emmy).
Hardest job: hypnotize, energy match, bring up. Hans Kim great: straight jokes, funny-looking, big smile, controls arenas. Derek fires up with lovable charisma. Cold opens battle-test material (Rogan & Friends, club confusion as podcast initially). Hosting (potluck 8pm-2am): reset room post-bombs/chaos, builds strength like ankle weights.
Derek was booking the Madhouse; speaker hosted weekend shows from 5pm to 2am, including open mic, full night's hosting when living in Hollywood as door guy.
Opening spots suck but make you better; reveals sloppy parts of bits. When crowd is quiet at start of show, realize bit needs tightening or repositioning. Plenty of spots available running four shows nightly; abundant LA comedy scene with 12 dedicated rooms downtown alone. Easy to get 10 spots weekly in front of audience.
Michael Rapaport Cancellation at Cap City
Cap City Comedy Club (owned by Helium) canceled Michael Rapaport's show after Austin for Palestine Coalition pressure. Post insinuates another club (possibly Mothership) would host him, assuming it full of racists due to Joe Rogan and Tony Hinchcliffe supporting Trump. Post: "Thank you, Cap City Comedy and Helium Management for listening to Austin and canceling the racist provocateur Michael Rapaport show... Pretty sure there's another club or large venue space that will welcome you that aren't run by Helium... most of us here are friendly and won't use politics and hate to cancel silence performers."
Rapaport's Pro-Israel Stance
Rapaport outspokenly pro-Israel, leading to backlash. Accusations include mocking dead civilians/children, immigrants, supporting ICE detentions, doxing opponents, working with Fox News on propaganda. Coalition sent emails since early November; employees uncomfortable but management ignored until cancellation. Speaker unaware of organized campaign or racist label.
Unlikely Rapaport mocks dead children; would go viral if true. Internet enables emotional reactions; example: people mocking Charlie Kirk lost jobs immediately.
Need return to pre-social media norms where posts affected job prospects (e.g., red cup). Now full sketches of dying people; constant death exposure desensitizes. Echo chambers via algorithms show agreeing content; example: CEO posted "rest in piss Charlie Kirk" on Instagram, thinking it cool in her bubble.
AI Deepfakes and Manipulation
New AI mimics celebrities perfectly (e.g., Mike or Eleven from Stranger Things); surveillance videos may become inadmissible. Heavily manipulated content entrenches opinions unless seeking alternatives. Algorithms feed desired narratives.
Fake videos (e.g., lion attacks) detectable by mismatched reactions; AI improving fingers/hands. Videos overload/get worse when iteratively fixed. Perception: first AI videos look real until trained eye spots smoothness/brightness. Order affects realism perception.
Algorithms disconnect entertainment; news only shared experience, polarizing opinions (vaccines, food pyramid, Gaza). Companies take sides (Ben & Jerry's on Gaza); no reason for ice cream company.
ESG and DEI Scores
ESG scores (Environmental, Social, Governance) from MSCI/Sustainalytics (0-100/letter grades) assess sustainability, carbon footprint, labor practices, board diversity for loans/capital. Forces companies from meritocracy: diversity quotas over exceptional talent. No top performers want race/gender replacing merit.
California overregulated (e.g., rebuilding homes post-fire). Newsom in front of burning Palisades house: "some discussions." $24 billion spent on homelessness unaccounted; Newsom vetoed bipartisan AB2903 (72-0 Assembly, 40-0 Senate) for annual audits, plus AB2725/AB2093. Incentivized racket: more homeless = more funding to executives. Colion Noir exposed San Francisco ecosystem.
Unanimous bills vetoed = gangster move; as SF mayor ruined city, as governor blocks probes. Good gameplay for presidential run vs. Trump.
Newsom Lies and Language
Newsom claims never used "Latinx"; alienates Mexican-Americans as Spanish gendered. Fundamentally against language structure.
Mexico had 100+ native languages lost to Spanish conquistadors/Catholics colonizing. Cortés: 600 men, 13 muskets, burned boats, outnumbered Aztecs. Convinced Moctezuma they were gods via metal armor/horses. Allies via La Malinche (interpreter) and rival tribes hating Aztecs' brutality (e.g., Bernal Díaz chronicled 20,000-80,000 sacrifices in 4-day temple ceremony).
Caras is a Spanish word like North American Native American names; one guy was named Cacao Lightning God. Aztecs didn't build many complex temples; they found them, called it the place where the gods were born. These civilizations clearly existed.
Story of Achaemenid Persian Empire succession: Cyrus has two kids, Cambyses and Bardiya. Splits realm; Cambyses conquers Egypt but secretly kills popular Bardiya. A magi priest impersonates Bardiya, takes over. Cambyses dies mysteriously returning. Achaemenid nobleman Darius declares him impostor, kills him, rules. Darius expands empire, father of Xerxes (bad guy in 300).
This is the only official narrative from a primary source: Behistun Inscription, Darius's rock relief propaganda. Picked up 50 years later by Herodotus as the ascension story. No other primary sources; take Darius's word. Fifth century; only known because carved in rock. Today, no carving in stone, so if internet vanishes and civilization gone, future people question lines as writing or erosion (looks like cuneiform).
How dope is that language? Look how cool that looks. That's how people used to write things down.
Rongorongo, glyph-based script from Easter Island, undeciphered despite over a century of study. Graham Hancock: small island raided by slavers, took everyone except 100; enslaved knew language, lost forever. One piece of wood with it. Lines alternate direction, often upside down. Scholars debate if true writing or proto-writing memory aid.
Voynich Manuscript: weird book, question if gibberish or lost language; detailed illustrations of plants. Rediscovered 1912 by Polish-American dealer Wilfrid Voynich, named it himself. Acquired from Jesuit college in Frascati, Italy amid financial issues (batch of 30 manuscripts). Vatican likely has world-changing stuff. Carbon dating: 1404-1438, northern Italy. Emperor Rudolf II bought late 1500s for 600 gold ducats, passed to Jacobus Horcicky de Tepenec, stayed Jesuit hands until 1912. Now at Yale's Beinecke Rare Book & Manuscript Library. Failed decoding attempts.
Recent: November 26, 2025 Cryptologia article by Michael Greskco introduces Navi cipher using 14th-century Italian playing cards/dice to encode Latin/Italian into Voynich-mimicking glyphs; replicates stats like glyph frequencies, word lengths, grammar.
Any book from the 1400s is wild; people wrote with feather, bare hands (gloves more abrasive; finger oils protective).
If hoax, all-time great: complex, trips people up.
Many languages lost, e.g., 100 in Mexico. Australian Aborigines call groups mobs; mobs 6-10km away speak different languages, all oral, disappearing. Friend Adam Greenree (ex-mining company owner, employed Aborigines): craziest history, not written, horrible tragedy/genocide. Cave where mob poisoned with food; bones still there. Darkest thing: starving family/children given poison by white Australians (exiled prisoners).
Crazy rock art: glyphs of alien-looking dudes, rocket ships, space suits. What stories/Bible missed? Large flood and dragon/serpent bad guy consistent across cultures.
Bible snake in Adam/Eve: punishment lost limbs, crawl on ground → was dragon. Pictures show snake, but explains why no limbs.
Forrest Galante (wildlife biologist): flying/large winged serpents worldwide. Dinosaurs flew. Congo legend of dinosaur-like (brontosaurus-resembling?) creature; explorers search. Possible small population with long gestation (like elephants) killed off 1000-2000 years ago as threat. Most deaths leave no fossils; find 'extinct millions years' things.
Coelacanth: dinosaur fish unchanged tens of millions years (420 million years old). Thought extinct 66 million years; rediscovered when fishermen off South Africa/Indian Ocean caught 188-pound, 5-foot dark blue one (1938). Local name 'bitter fish' (inedible, used for malaria, sandpaper scales). Armored scales, limb-like fins (7 total). Deep sea, unexplored ocean parts.
Relatives first left seas 385 million years ago to four-legged terrestrial animals.
Crocodiles/alligators/sharks ancient (sharks older than trees). Apex predators unchanged.
1916 New Jersey shark attacks book: went up freshwater river. Pre-1916, sharks 'sea puppies,' not dangerous; some thought sailors' myths. No sharks in England/Ireland; America new (couple centuries). 1916 perfect storm: beaches popular. Bull sharks hyper-aggressive, up rivers to Illinois.
Factors: swimming with dog increases attacks (dog swim attracts, never attacks dog); full moon regulates shark emotions.
Josh Bowmar bow-hunted world-record crocodile in Tanzania (~17 feet, over 100 years old).
If crocodiles didn't exist and video surfaced from Congo: 'Dinosaurs real.' Straight-up dinosaur, giant lizard.
If no one went to Tanzania, sighting called monster.
If it was just a place that no one went to and then people went there and saw that, they'd say, "Oh my god, dinosaurs are still alive." That's a dinosaur. Period. Full stop.
You would. Yeah, you'd be absolutely afraid. You can call it a crocodile. Whatever. It's a species of dinosaurs that made it. It's still here.
Crocodiles first evolved 83 to 95 million years ago, Late Cretaceous. Younger than the coelacanth. Crazy, up to 250 million years ago. Still young by 100 million years. Probably the ancestor that came to shore and started eating.
Right. If everything came out of the ocean allegedly.
There's a gratefulness thing done every year: Mr. Rogers' Emmy acceptance speech. A three-minute video watched at crossroads, like after releasing a special and stepping away from social media at the club.
Have you ever seen Mr. Rogers Emmy acceptance speech? No. Okay. Can we pull that up, Jamie?
Do what he says.
[music] [applause]
For giving generation upon generation of children confidence in themselves, for being their friend, for telling them again and again and again that they are special and that they have worth. It is my honor on behalf of everyone here and on behalf of the millions of children whose mornings you have brightened with your kindness to present you with this lifetime achievement award. [applause]
Oh, it's a beautiful night in this neighborhood. [applause] So many people have helped me to come to this night. Some of you are here. Some are far away. Some are even in heaven. All of us have special ones who have loved us into being. Would you just take, along with me, 10 seconds to think of the people who have helped you become who you are? Those who have cared about you and wanted what was best for you in life. 10 seconds of silence. I'll watch the time.
Whomever you've been thinking about, how pleased they must be to know the difference you feel they've made. You know, they're the kind of people television does well to offer our world. Special thanks to my family and friends and to my co-workers in public broadcasting, family communications, and this academy for encouraging me, allowing me all these years to be your neighbor. May God be with you. [applause] Thank you very much.
He seemed like the real deal. Nothing ever came out about him. Wasn't like Jimmy Savile. Happy he was the real deal.
Who'd you think about? Family, personal people. We are very fortunate. We have a lot of people that help us be who we are.
Highlight at the club: all happy, lucky, enjoy time together, feed off each other. Scene incredibly supportive. In new system, can make it on your own, no auditioning for spots. No reason to compete since both brown. System where we all create and help each other, piggyback. Rising tide lifts all boats.
Happens everywhere. Mothership door guys crush. Sunset has killers as door guys, came up where ceilings high, room cavernous even when tight. Mothership rooms set up for comedy. Sunset harsher; guy died before making it, Redban saved it to open.
Mumford Davis closes every Death Squad (18 hours long) in front of tired audience, now an absolute monster. Running with ankle weights.
That's how Kinison came up: last spot at the O. His style: screaming, yelling in your face, designed to shock audience back to life. Brody, Don Barris, Brian Holtzman developed act to jolt out of complacency, by necessity.
Miss Comedy Store late-night O spots (1 AM, six people). Some best sets in those survival spots. Reality shines through.
Laura Bites crushed in 25-person room; by end, 50 people as others came to watch. When you hear that noise, you know what's going on.
Those spots test if you can be funny beyond written jokes, as a person. Hone that in late-night tough rooms.
Store creates monsters, even through hard times. Mitzi knew what she was doing, method to madness, tweaked to perfect form. Similar form used at Mothership: people in tough spots over and over. Can you follow monsters?
At ship, followed Theo, Shane. Follow emerging stars like Cam and James McCannon after they popped; energy shifts.
Lost to Australia, but he'll be back. Unique perspective: if you think like him, you get it; really smart, funny. High energy. Rare for hyper-intelligent onstage to go high energy; usually go soft, "look at me think."
McCannon: energy of yelling in a bar but about Kyrgyzstan.
Scene thriving, so many places to go up. Did set at Black Rabbit, small blackbox, 10 people amazing, just there for comedy. Younger audience, out of college, $10 tickets.
On street: Cap City (one block), Vulcan, Sunset, Creek and Cave (one over), Velvita, Bulls (comedy 3-4x/week), Black Rabbit, Narbar. Rosco's in East Austin. Shakespeare's, Maggie Mays (3x/week). At least 12 dedicated rooms, not including mics.
Booked shows with pros, some rough bar shows. So many ways to come up. Nights with five sets, none at Mothership. Walkable.
Different ecosystems per place: go where it gives time.
Extra dope as early settler: got to gold rush in '48. When arrived, only four non-famous headliners/new comics: me, Hans, Kim, Derek, Dylan (8 years in).
No middle class, upper and lower. Now robust, killers moving in. Nick Murphy from Atlanta.
Moved 2021. Dylan Sullivan pitched on Discord during pandemic game nights. Vulcan indoor shows, paid spots. Plan: get paid spots, if Comedy Store reopens go back to LA; stick out for club (two years away).
Passed through early at Mothership, huge blessing. Now hard to get in as beginner.
Better to get good where you are first, then move to Austin than blind move as beginner. Like LA, NY, Store tough. LA mics brutal.
If early people didn't come pre-club, it wouldn't have worked. Responsible: Brian Simpson, Tom Segura (moved early after pitch, already arenas). Required buy-in.
Pro-Austin: if you buy in, look what happens.
NY vs Austin stupidest thing. Both awesome. Unnecessary infighting. NY guys always here, we there.
Lewis shits on Austin; Tony/Lewis back-and-forth. Lewis: LA not best anymore. Tony: Agreed, where'd they go? Lewis: Oh shit.
LA rebuilding stronger. Store, Hollywood goes through dips. '94: O half empty, mains never full, no big talent. Legendary, creates comedy by existing.
Building alive, soaked with memories of Kinison, Hicks, Pryor.
Bucket seats in back: during day, outline of heads from oil of people leaning back. Energy of great comics in room.
Denying Austin amazing is stupid. Want more scenes, more comics, more places.
There's so many assholes in this world. They never get anything done. Just sit and bitch. Nothing ever gets done. Just video essays.
Concept Austin ruined comedy silly; comics blowing up everywhere.
Walled garden: people having too much fun, if not there feel bad.
Store like Mecca from Boston.
First time: heart feeling. Went pre-move, said comedian from NY, watched bad cruise ship acts from 1970s.
La Jolla: guy booked yearly via Mitzi deal, act unchanged since 70s.
Kinison packed place, left, put billboard of new album in front. Fired gun, bullet hole still there (sign plastic fixed, hole kept). Might've got banned. Dead by '94, Hicks dead; lull, missing top guy.
Big comics dropped in unannounced: Chris Rock, Damon, Dom Irrera. Mostly younger guys, Holtzman big then.
Can't imagine Holtzman young; looked 1950s greaser since '94: slick back dark hair. Sweetest guy; guys like that get venom out onstage.
Like William Montgomery: raving lunatic onstage.
Photo (~'96): Holtzman in suit, Paulie, Freddy Soto, Brian looks same.
Instagram guy pretends to be greaser unironically; comments "Yo, show us that hog."
Discussion of a comedian portraying a greaser character, with comments mocking him by asking for the "hog reveal." The comments created their own culture around unironically mocking his genuine greaser persona, like "Mike the Greaser."
Well, Holtzman was just I thought he was going to blow up, man. I really did. I was like, "Oh, this guy's going to be huge. This guy's going to be gigantic."
There were a few comedians back then predicted to be big.
You never Did you ever see Mike Rick?
Early 90s Mike Rick was great, but unsure if he does comedy anymore. Comedy is brutal; people fall off easily.
Mental Health and Exercise for Comedians
Need something brutal outside comedy to stay centered. For mental health:
- Working out keeps sane.
- Mentally unhealthy people lack body control: no exercise, poor diet, medications, unstable.
- Minor triggers like mean tweets send them over the edge.
With job pressures, find outlets like walking or exertion activities. Start simple with walks before intense like CrossFit; avoid couch to CrossFit.
Phone Screen Time and Online Doom Scrolling
Phones send screen time updates; it's like a full-time job, disgusting. Causes bad feelings from consuming fake reality.
Online "communities" (fans) aren't real; must be in-person, not majority of interactions. Social media interaction has a price: mostly doom scrolling vs. positive sharing.
Backed off heavy social media; now mostly YouTube distraction, not weird feeling.
Positive YouTube Content
YouTube like modern television, phenomenal. Examples:
- Ancient history videos: interesting, learn something.
- Nightmare Movies page: explains favorite horror movies with great voice; watched all despite no interest in movies themselves.
- Short low-budget horror movies: 2-8 minutes, great ideas, really cool.
- People making furniture, live edge tables.
- Cooking videos.
True virality tough; 8 million views on niche videos you've never seen. Everyone's entertainment in own lane; more celebrities now (streamers, YouTubers like Austin streaming scene).
A-List Celebrities and Content Overload
Fewer traditional A-listers; more famous people overall. In 1960s, few like Paul Newman, Marlon Brando to sell movies. Now Sydney Sweeney level wouldn't; competes with endless content, shows, Instagram.
Examples: Sandwiches of History – recreates old sandwiches (early 1900s, Depression era bread and sawdust, some amazing, some suck like orange peel with mayonnaise from 1921).
I'll give this sandwich a go.
Origins of the Sandwich
- Named after John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich.
- 1762 during prolonged card game; wanted meat/cheese between bread slices to eat without interrupting play.
- Popularized handheld meal among England's elite.
- Romans had similar (offa).
- Current Earl of Sandwich exists.
What cool food is going to come out of that?
Austin Food Scene: Late-Night Gaps
Austin has amazing daytime food, lacks late-night diner. Miss LA's Jewish delis like Canter's (pastrami Reuben with steak fries post-club).
Katz's Deli NYC legendary:
- Get ticket on entry (lose it, pay $50).
- Order at counter: choppers slice brisket/pastrami since 1920s; eat samples while waiting.
- Steam from fresh pastrami on rye, pickles, fries, root beer; pay at end.
Canter's since 1888, piles high pastrami with Swiss.
New Cats Deli (NY-style, Reubens, breakfast, entrees like pork roast/meatloaf, 24/7) opening on West Sixth Street, Austin (former OG Cats spot closed 2011; expected 2026-2027, near studio, 5-min drive).
Late-Night Austin Options
After 10pm rough: halal carts, Golden Tiger (open till 1:30), Mexican hot dog carts, taco trucks on Sixth Street.
Food truck parking lot toward Creek and Seventh: Diddy Dog bulgogi fries (favorite downtown), yellow burgers.
Freshman 15 from Austin eating; tire of brisket after 5 years.
Terry Black's Barbecue
Terry Black's: Disneyland of Austin BBQ; quick line, watch making, huge volume (highest in country? 18% of America's brisket).
- Beef ribs insane, rich.
- Cornbread fills you up fast; always over-order.
- Not before shows.
18% of America's brisket is served by them.
Kurt Metzger's Conspiracy Theories
Kurt Metzger in green room with theories (e.g., Morgan Freeman dated step-granddaughter, boyfriend killed her; "common knowledge").
Gets info from Jimmy Dore show (exposes corruption/conspiracies).
Living in conspiracy world: everything a conspiracy, no room for sunshine. Real provable ones (e.g., Franklin scandal) can drive you crazy like Alex Jones.
What is real? Like what really controls the world? Like what lizard people are really at the center of this whole thing.
Pay attention somewhat; some obligated to expose for accountability/public outrage. But for mental health, don't absorb all evil – find happiness in your lane.
Discussion shifts to obsession with deep corruption and conspiracies. The subject is right about much of it, maintaining it all in his brain. His Comedy Central special, White Precious, is one of the most underrated of all time—great writing, very smart, excellent podcast guest, though needs corralling as he rants across subjects.
"Queen Elizabeth did what?"
Lives in Austin now, along with many others. Fun watching young comedians like Fuzzy rise up, figure out not to give a fuck, and succeed. Fuzzy does Q&A at end of Fat Man shows; not famous, so questions and answers are funnier and wilder from random audience members.
First Q&A seen was Seinfeld at Paradise in Boston (rock club connected to Stitches comedy club, ~150 seats). Seinfeld did 45 minutes standup then riffed on audience questions, creating material—pre-standup experience at age 20.
Q&As sometimes yield bits after multiple tries (5-6 sessions, then bam). Bottom of the Barrel is best premise factory, but no special planned due to wild unpublished content.
"The most insane [shit] I've ever said has been on bottom of the barrel... hey this wasn't my idea you [shit] wrote this down."
Story from Bottom of the Barrel: bestiality prompt led to childhood porn anecdote. Pre-Pornhub/YouTube: sites like Mr. Chew's Asian Beaver (racist cartoon beaver rating girls out of five fortune cookies). Watched in 7th grade. Weird kid showed animal sex video (Mr. Hands). On stage: "sometimes when you watch people [fuck] a dog, sometimes the dog enjoys it."
"Some dogs must like it. There's probably a girl dog out there that likes some dick."
Another story: basement VHS of Barnyard Betty—crackhead woman paid to suck dog's dick, fucked by German Shepherd; one kid watched door.
Porn moved to individual creators like OnlyFans. Top earner makes more than LeBron. Vast majority make no money; content online forever. ~10% of women 18-20s on it. Seen as content creation like TikTok/Instagram.
Sophie Rain sells as virgin. Gen Z trend: virginity marketable (Nick Fuentes, "Virgin Nick Shirley guy").
Giant percentage voluntarily celibate (incel problem). Gen Z more religious. Crazy stat: many women under 25 never approached in public by guys their age—DMs only. Alcohol consumption 800% less than Millennials. Third spaces (e.g., bowling alley, library, mall) disappearing—work/home only, or too expensive (movies).
App-driven meetings, instant porn access lowers sex drive. Testosterone/fertility dropped, miscarriages risen. Western fertility rates concerning—migrants at replacement level only.
15-year high school reunion (age 33): most classmates unmarried, no kids—standard for middle-class Millennials. Average home buyer age 59, first-time 40 (record highs). Hard to raise kids renting (instability). Community dies without homeowners—neighbors transient, no consistency, anxiety-inducing. Childcare expensive, women delay for careers, in vitro needed.
Feminism/capitalism ties: women work, hard for single-income family. Demonization of trad wives by career women (jealousy?). Population drop real—humanity at deer population curve peak (exponential growth leveling).
Exponential growth in poor countries only; South Korea/Japan facing collapse without immigration or incentives.
To reverse: incentivize kids, but requires women not pursuing careers (nuts with 5 kids). Kids need parents around amid predators. People selfish, ignore population collapse. Dating apps: endless choice like Netflix—commit to nothing. Some succeed, usually older.
Early 20s settling made sense pre-city abundance. App where men pay for woman's date prep (nails, clothes)—prostitution lite without sex guarantee; attracts low-quality.
Richard Feynman: "Never paid for the drink on the first date."
Scientists like Oppenheimer were rock stars, fucking around (communist chicks risky then).
Gay Republican senators exist (closeted, anti-gay marriage loudest, war hawks). Iran: protests, killings; possible US strike, but weakened by internal strife.
Average Iranian raw deal since 1950s—US installed Shah, Khomeini promised democracy then clerics took over. Oil nationalization key. Admirable protests despite deaths (thousands, hijab protests).
Persepolis book: Iranians just people wanting music/parties, but Islamic police brutal.
Kurt Metzger theory: Maduro secretly CIA, will testify 2020 US election rigged (also regionals). Maria Corina Machado insists Maduro rigged 2020 US against Trump.
Grayzone: Hugo El Pollo Carvajal...
From The Grayzone, Hugo Carvajal is likely to serve as star witness for US against Maduro. Max Blumenthal reveals Carvajal is a coerced witness who cut a secret plea deal. Carvajal indulges Trump's conspiracy theory that Venezuela rigged the 2020 US election.
The Grayzone is Max Blumenthal's show; he's a legit anti-war guy, so maybe there's something to it.
Mechanism for Maduro Rigging 2020 US Election
How would Maduro rig the 2020 US election? Tweet from before election: "Nicholas Maduro's campaign manager... just went on national TV to declare victory despite exit polls showing historic loss... setting up to commit a bigger election theft than the 2020 election in the United States." That's just opinion. Because they stole it in Venezuela.
Maduro clearly stole Venezuela's election: threatened bloodshed if he lost, restricted international observers, blocked transmission of results. Venezuelans in America were very happy when he was gone; white leftists called it bad, supporting a dictator.
Way they removed Maduro unprecedented: storm the castle. Used sound weapon (sonar/sound weapon) that makes organs bubble; everyone falls writhing in pain/agony, incapacitated. Then stormed in, took him out. If true, shows power to other countries: "back off."
Better than ground troops/non-stop fighting/20 years in Afghanistan; that's what war is becoming (outside Russia-Ukraine).
Sydney Powell in 2020: "Maduro is going to sing like a canary and the Democrats are screwed." Maduro had access to voting fraud technology.
Source reeks of bot: "follow me for breaking news."
Eyewitness Account of Raid
Eyewitness: helicopters/drones came out of nowhere, shut down radar/everything. 20 guys killed who knows how many; no one killed on American side. Captured Maduro and wife, stuffed in helicopter, in and out in 10 minutes.
Famous video of Twitch streamer in Venezuela streets: everything goes dark (street lights out); you can tell something's up.
Evan Hafer on podcast ~1 year ago: if war with cartels, no idea ultraviolence coming. Built replica of his house, practiced blindfolded; knew every turn.
Warfare now: incapacitate everyone (no one could move, writhing in agony), run through, whack everybody, no shots back.
Israel vs Iran: take out all generals quickly, threat of war done.
US vs Venezuela easy (Venezuela no nukes); vs Russia/China much more fucked up.
Trump: immediately "we're going to take the oil. Plenty of oil. Working on a deal."
Gas under $2 last week at station across street; wonder if Venezuela-related. Not in California; gas companies pulling out (Valero pulled out, cost $1 billion, "not worth it.").
Austin cheaper quality of life vs California/New York. Gas under $2; rent stabilizing/going down (CA/NY developers built out; infinite space in Austin). Rent at place went down; people buy houses farther out (Dripping Springs 30 min away, way cheaper).
Everywhere else, 30-minute commute normal; in LA, 15 miles = 1.5-2 hours (Redondo Beach to Burbank after 5pm podcast). 405/5 locked up depressing; LA to San Diego/La Jolla, leave at noon to hit rush hour there.
Austin great for young comics: cheaper, quality stage time, better vibe, less tension/people/frantic energy. Can breathe/enjoy day off; important for balance. Grind culture bad; need recalibration/rest/new perspective to come back stronger.
Account pushing it: main proponent for drive to recall Gavin Newsom ("California needs rebuild a better"); might be fake, no evidence/link. Just says "interview security guard"; could be propaganda/AI-generated story for Twitter.
Caroline Leavitt shared it ("stop what you're doing and read this" – she says that a ton).
Press Secretaries Discussion
How long Caroline Leavitt press secretary? Usually last ~2 years; except last one (Karine Jean-Pierre) hung in despite sucking (tried to get rid of her).
Karine Jean-Pierre terrible: "president is committed," Obama finger thing, lies all time (e.g., dead person alive). Hard job.
Biden thought would die immediately after office; kept going. Trot him out (Eagles game mumbling); let him talk sometimes (e.g., "Thank God you didn't win.").
Biden fucked them by not bowing out; at least primary (Kamala vs Trump, "vote for me to fight fascism but no one voted for you").
Primary: Democrats would pick Newsom anyway; too soon for him then (COVID stink). Now half a decade since COVID; political memories short. Enough to run/get nomination 2028 ("I did fine").
Newsom vulnerable: debate on fraud/waste (California high-speed rail: billions spent, nothing). Run on "I'm not Trump" enough?
Josh Shapiro (Pennsylvania governor): popularity contest, making noise, but Jews upset now. Closer to midterms, no big voice = him. Wants it; powerful enough?
Newsom fucked up San Francisco/California, could country. Possible outcome.
Ticket: Newsom-Crockett early call (or AOC more reasonable). Crockett vs Marjorie Taylor Greene: fun yelling/insults.
Nobody wants to be representative: successful business/academics avoid; all lawyers/creeps. Person who wants it probably shouldn't (sociopath: decisions kill people, grease donors).
Podcasters have big impact on elections now (nuts); mainstream media lost lead/dropped ball by being unreliable/untrustworthy.
Uncensored conversation = how people talk to friends (no sponsor restrictions). Accessible real thoughts; green room talks could be podcasts (but camera would fuck vibe).
Guest special Too Soon out on YouTube; very proud, killing at club, new stuff fantastic.
Guest hair: cornrows (did for sketch, kept; crazy for hairline). Had different hair every podcast appearance.
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