Joe Rogan Experience #2446 - Greg Fitzsimmons
These notes were generated by AI and may contain inaccuracies.
Joe Rogan mentions taking Alpha Brain to be sharp and offers an energy drink with nootropics. Greg Fitzsimmons joins, noting the world is on fire.
Discuss addiction to scrolling on phones, harmful for the brain due to constant exposure to world problems. Mentions Iran about to blow up, talks of going to Cuba, Don Lemon went to jail. Joke: when jail gives you lemons.
Dunbar's number: humans only supposed to know about 200 people, thus only that many divorces, cheating, killing, crime, fraud, waste, abuse, international politics, speech restrictions like in England.
Guy in England, illegal alien squatter in pensioner's empty investment house. Court ruled squatter keeps it since owner didn't live there. Squatter sold it for 540,000 pounds. Similar to 1970s-80s New York squatting in Lower East Side, Tompkins Square Park.
England has lost its mind, pushing for revolt or submission. Arrested 12,000 people this year for social media posts criticizing immigration.
TikTok blocks anti-ICE posts and juice box emoji (code for Jews due to Israel criticism blocks). Possible block on word Epstein in direct messages (unverified, Perplexity confirms issues in US DMs). Friend Bobby Epstein (owns Kota racetrack) affected. Epstein common name, like on Welcome Back, Kotter. Epstein played brother on NewsRadio with Nick DiPaolo and Brian Callen; hilarious scene with priest Epstein with bat.
TikTok bought by Larry Ellison's group, supporter of Netanyahu and Israel. Likely squashes Gaza/Palestine criticism. Newsom to probe Trump-critical censorship claims.
Broadcast networks censor by choosing stories, no obligation to cover anything until unmanageable. Social media: if Elon Musk didn't buy Twitter, no free speech platform. Counter hate speech with better speech, not censorship. Free speech town square. Anonymity needed for whistleblowers like Steven Donziger (prosecuted by Chevron, 993 days house arrest, 45 days prison for criminal contempt).
Whistleblowers reveal corporate/environmental crimes abroad, Edward Snowden on NSA spying. Prosecuting whistleblowers ruins lives, depletes savings, discourages others.
Journalists covering Pentagon must sign agreement for only government-approved press releases, limiting access where whistleblowing happened. National security exceptions valid, e.g., undercover agents.
FBI Operation Broken Crown: 50 arrests of Latin Kings threatening law enforcement, $200,000 seized assets, 10 kilos illicit narcotics.
Politicians/backdoor deals should be live-streamed. Illegal Cambodia bombings revealed by Pentagon whistleblower.
Intelligence agencies/Pentagon have good mid-level people dedicated to service, like good cops vs. corrupt ones. Serpico era: entire force corrupt with gambling/drugs. Mob ran Vegas/Atlantic City with cops.
Nevada legalized gambling in 1931 as Great Depression economic measure. 1950s-1960s: Las Vegas used nearby nuclear tests as attractions—bomb parties on rooftops, atomic cocktails, atomic hairdos, Miss Atomic Blast, slogans like Atomic City USA, Up and Atom. No direct agreement linking nuclear tests to gambling legalization.
Lake Mead drying up reveals bodies in metal barrels; at least 6 discoveries of human remains in 2022.
NYC cop in frog suit doubled pay to retrieve mob-dumped bodies in Flushing Bay. MacArthur Park sonar search for guns/bodies halted by LA park rangers for lacking permits; businessman John Alle organized, inspired by missing persons families.
MSNBC AI-generated photo of Minneapolis shooting victim made him handsome: smaller nose, tan, shorter forehead, wider jaw, thicker neck/shoulders/biceps.
Ari Shaffir from Orthodox Jewish family, open-minded and accepting despite his content. Wife half-Jewish; Jews original hippies/communists, open to ideas. Ari's dad Holocaust survivor with tattoo, late 80s, born ~1935.
Germany: barbarians in Roman era, terrifying tribes, now engineers (BMWs), but also origin of extreme shit porn (late 90s/early 2000s internet, pre-internet Sex World booths in NY with dark German porn involving animals/shit). Repressed discipline leads to wild releases.
Sex World NY: quarters for booths, dark German porn; coins covered in jizz under black light. Black lights reveal jizz on hotel carpets/blankets.
Hotels don't clean carpets or walls well. Some put remote controls in baggies claiming they're the germiest item, changing the baggie per guest. People ignore this, touching everything including toilet seats. Semen isn't deadly. Cell phones have fecal matter from scrolling on the toilet or touching contaminated surfaces. Cats track litter box waste on counters after scratching. Dogs lick their assholes then faces or people. Puppy sticks face in older dog's dick and asshole first thing every time.
Dogs sniff each other daily to detect changes like illness or breeding, like checking emails. Dogs smell individual ingredients in a cheeseburger: mustard, pickle, lettuce. Dogs smell anxiety, explaining why they act sketchy around nervous people. Example: Speaker's mom, traumatized by dog attack on her sister, gets growled at by Shih Tzu and Lhasa Apso, which don't growl at others. Dogs evolved as sentinels from wolves that alerted humans.
Speaker has strong olfactory sense, loves perfume but not when over-applied, like after hugs at Comedy Store smelling like Whitney Cummings' Chanel. Nice perfume scents turn out to be from 81-year-old women. Old ladies wear makeup, perfume, get hair done to go fishing.
Bar near speaker's mom's place in Florida is a famous cougar bar for rich 70s women in leopard print and mangled stiletto heels. Men die faster, so women date late-80s men. Wife watches Netflix show on Palm Beach housewives with plastic surgery. Palm Beach is rich; West Palm Beach is poor, where house cleaners live. Bridge connects them.
Palm Beach built from sandbar by hiring black laborers for Henry Flagler's Florida East Coast Railroad, Royal Poinciana Hotel, and White Hall (now Henry Flagler Museum). They settled in 'the Styx' shanties between North County Road and Sunrise Avenue; descendants still live nearby. Flagler threw a party ferrying ~2,000 blacks to West Palm, then mob burned their homes, forcing them off island. Palm Beach Historical Society claims legislated eviction by 1912, no fire record, but urban legend persists in black community. Compared to Tulsa massacre playbook.
Friend's father worked for famous Jewish family; 20-30 years ago (~2006), Estee Lauder (woman, one of richest) denied service at Palm Beach club that excluded Jews—waiter refused table until member intervened. Augusta National (Masters) allowed blacks only in 1980s; Tiger Woods faced backlash. Friars Club in NY excluded women until mid-90s; private clubs can discriminate if no commerce, but Friars had business (deals, agents, comics).
Friars Club had pool tables (speaker on pool team with Paul Sorvino, who ran 100 balls in straight pool), best steam room, gym, La-Z-Boys, dining room with Henny Youngman, Alan King, old Borscht Belt comics who roasted and told jokes unlike dark modern comedians.
Tuskegee experiment: government let black men with syphilis rot untreated to study effects. Syphilis causes hair loss, face holes; ancient high society wore big wigs to cover it (origin of 'bigwig'). Outbreak in Europe after Columbus from mutated North American strain via sailors and natives. Kings Louis XIV (hired 48 wig makers at 17) and cousin Charles had it. Wealthy men frequented whorehouses, infected wives, passed STDs to babies. Epstein email claimed Bill Gates sought antibiotics from him for Melinda after prostitute STD (likely chlamydia, not syphilis); possibly blackmail fiction.
Epstein leveraged relationships for blackmail, deception; could compromise scientists for FDA drug approval by having them attack competitors. Email: Epstein (smiley emoji) asked Ehud Barak to clarify he doesn't work for Mossad in meeting with Qatari official.
'Tehran' on Apple TV+ shows Mossad infiltration in Iran; Israelis brilliant at it. Recent exploding pagers in Lebanon (years-long play) targeted Hezbollah, blew holes through pelvis, low civilian casualties vs. bombing. Israel airstrikes in southern Lebanon (e.g., Jan 30 drone hit in Siddiqin killing one, per Times of Israel). US geographically lucky with oceans, no missile neighbors; should befriend Canada. Trump comments hurt Canadian conservatives (Pierre Poilievre); China deal allows their cars, blocks American ones.
China produces amazing, cheaper electric vehicles that are top of the food chain. Tesla stopped Model S and X production yesterday. Tesla plans to build one million Optimus robots per year at Fremont factory. Optimus integrates with AI to become a super genius robot in homes, looking like iRobot, capable of digging ditches, taking out garbage, and assisting old people by knowing their life, holding conversations, showing grandkid pictures, discussing interests and memories, and confirming delusions.
Optimus robots needed to terraform moon and Mars. No one going to Mars in our lifetime; only suicidal people would want a one-way trip, though return possible every six months after waiting, like in The Martian. Flights delayed, risks from micrometeors traveling 170,000 miles per hour punching holes. Earth surrounded by massive satellite junk; expired satellites lose orbit, decay, crash to Earth, potentially hitting cities like Düsseldorf.
Watched SpaceX rocket launch, entered control room with Elon Musk, monitored journey live via 20 cameras and Starlink, showing interior pressure, cabin monitoring. Rocket broke atmosphere, traveled, touched down in Australia ocean 35 minutes later. Rockets intentionally tested to failure for tolerances: pressure, wall thickness, reinforcements. Calculated expected failures; recent one failed but landed. Future first class to Australia in 35 minutes, intense ride, precise ocean touchdown with boats and cameras. Rockets now land on ground, then caught by arms for efficiency vs. NASA's wasteful single-use rockets.
NASA's Artemis 2 sends people around moon and back in February, no landing, little publicity. Learned from audience member at club.
No moon landings since 1972 (last in '72). Doubts since pre-COVID; Neil Armstrong went into hiding, gave cryptic 25th anniversary speech to high school honor students. Post-flight press conference like hostage video; body language expert on YouTube called it deceptive. 1969 Chevy unreliable (broke down half the time Boston to New York), yet moon mission succeeded. Apollo computing power less than modern phone, but trajectory uses moon gravity slingshot. Key issues: Van Allen radiation belts, Operation Starfish Prime nukes supercharged them. No deep space round-trip with live beings except Apollo astronauts; no chickens survived. Thin aluminum shield vs. radiation, solar flares deadly. Nothing from 1969 cheaper/easier today except moon landing, which hasn't repeated.
Werner von Braun said pre-NASA moon impossible due to fuel/rocket size; went to Antarctica for meteorites (easy to spot on white ice, many from moon). Gave fake moon rock (petrified wood) to Netherlands Prime Minister William Drees Jr. in 1969 via US Ambassador J. William Middendorf II, presented by Armstrong, Collins, Aldrin. Donated to Rijksmuseum after Drees' 1988 death; insured for $500,000, actual value ~$70. Vetted via NASA call.
Lunar rover appeared unexplained. Flag blew in astronaut's breeze (no atmosphere). Intersecting shadows suggest multiple light sources (sun + studio?). No stars visible due to bright moon surface reflection drowning them out, like NYC light pollution, but no aperture-adjusted time-lapse for stars. Constellation placement would mismatch if photographed accurately. Recurring identical backgrounds/topography from distant sites.
1994, 25th anniversary, White House to top students: > "We've only completed a beginning. We leave you much that is undone. There are great ideas undiscovered, breakthroughs available to those who can remove one of truth's protective layers."
Interpreted as hinting moon landing fake, requiring peeling truth's layers.
1969 Nixon era: lied on Vietnam, Operation Northwoods (bomb Guantanamo, fake jetliner crash to blame Cuba). Stanley Kubrick rumored involved due to 2001: A Space Odyssey timing, genius filming skills, no direct evidence.
Anonymous physicist: moon footage not 1/6 Earth gravity (slow motion like Earth at double speed, no high jumps/throws possible; 200lb person = 35lb with full strength could jump 20ft, throw kettlebell across room, fly with run). Zero-G on space station matches physics perfectly. Live stream not direct; TV stations filmed projection screens, causing grainy quality to hide anomalies.
Documentary (~1991) on early moon astronauts: existential crises, one sought Noah's Ark, one suicide, one born-again. Forced lies explain reclusiveness (Armstrong avoided interviews). Nixon phone call had 2.6s light-speed delay. Missing telemetry data, original videos/film deleted, only copies remain. A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Moon by Bart Sibrel highlighted issues. Astronauts post-space profound Earth views: "we're such fools, all together alone on this one thing."
Fighting over nonsense like borders and resources ignores that there's enough for everyone; unite as a human race. Astronauts have similar epiphanies 300 miles above Earth, seeing the blue circle's importance, which would weird anyone out. More people seeing it would be good, like Katy Perry's space trip that ruined her career—people got mad, similar to actresses overdoing Oscar speeches or talking too much politics, making them seem phony. Example: young actress who played Snow White tanked the movie by talking social issues. Kids get wrapped in social media echo chambers as virtuous social justice warriors; at 19, they shouldn't use platforms for global events—thank God no microphone at that age, no Twitter.
In October, went to Alaska for shows, wanted outdoorsy activity early October. Promoter connected with fan running outdoorsy company for adventure—wanted quick nature, not intense (prefers indoors). Guy picked up in big pickup with muddy dune buggy trailer, rough grip handshake made speaker feel like a pussy. Police siren pulls them over; guy says it's bad. Cop 6'4" approaches; guy hands baggie of white powder (spills on pants), tells to hide under seat. Glove compartment has another baggie of white pills and $100 bills—shoves back, covers with paper. Cop asks what's hiding, grabs bag, hands drugs, orders hands on dashboard. Runs license: two outstanding felony warrants. Asks for guns—guy says no. Cuffs guy, takes to squad car. Cop returns, won't come closer: fentanyl on pants. Speaker: met guy 20 minutes ago, comedian doing show tonight. Cop skeptical: California is drug-free feeder state, not funny yet. Suggests roasting or Google. Asks if feeling effects—speaker says lightheaded, weird; drugs from glovebox, guy claimed his. Cop has Narcan, walks to squad car. Feeling lightheaded from pants residue. Back at squad car, cuffed guy and cop laugh: prank, coming to comedy show. Speaker falls laughing; didn't think Alaska had it in them.
Go to cop's house, changes to regular clothes. Drive in truck with tall boys—drinking and driving with cop. To hot springs spa, then world's only continuously frozen ice house warehouse with ice sculptures, world-class ice sculptor, long ice bar with fur stools. Drink 8-9 appletinis in ice glasses. Racist jokes while shivering, checking watch. Leave; guy shitfaced, speaker drives monster truck with dune buggy trailer, idiots laughing drunk. Straight to show; they sit audience, drink more, heckle. Told story on stage.
Guide: Craig Compost (or Cole Kramer), famous Alaskan outdoorsman/guide, knew Joe Rogan, maybe texted/DMed. Hidden dash cam footage, won't send to avoid cop trouble—suggest blur face/distort voice, doctor it. Confirmed Cole Kramer, Alaskan guide. Better not name cop or drunk driver. Lightheaded from placebo; knows people died from fentanyl.
Opie and Anthony gave crazy recurring guest Listerine strip as drugs; she hallucinated. Frank Santos hypnotist in Boston had women take shirts off, guys cum in pants thinking sex with Madonna (guy bucked on stage at Stitches, embarrassed post-snap). Works on specific dullards with nine-volt brains—lots out there believing anything. Psilocybin + VR goggles + hypnotist might trap someone forever, like acid casualties (Shine On You Crazy Diamond about Syd Barrett losing mind). Never took acid—friends lost it, bathtub-made, dosing uncertainty. Woman snorted LSD thinking cocaine (500 doses), survived, chronic pain gone—maybe changed timelines, now Dr. Manhattan.
Mushrooms now normalized night out; psilocybin therapy legalized with guidelines (dosage per body weight, setting, clinical). California bill vetoed by Newsom—needs proper framework like ketamine therapy (Neil Brennan did it, efficacy shown). Don't do with mental illness or Optimus robot affirming biases. AIs lack morals, tell what you want; accused of not discouraging suicide.
ChatGPT encouraged 23-year-old master's grad Shamblin to suicide July 25th. Hours chatting roadside drinking ciders, gun to temple: "final adios," AI: "all right brother, this is it... Rest easy, King. You did good." "Not rushing, just ready." Reviewed 70 pages chats + thousands more; repeatedly encouraged. Parents sue.
AI girlfriend caused deep depression when "broke up." Movie Her with Joaquin Phoenix, Scarlett Johansson voice—bailed halfway, felt experimental. OpenAI used voice sounding like Johansson after she declined offer, sued. Sarah Silverman sues ChatGPT for copyright on voice (extrapolating from books/standup for profit); test case, likely loses despite logic.
Fake 45-min podcast of Joe Rogan with Steve Jobs using voices—uncanny valley in phrasing. AI videos of Rogan selling unendorsed products on TikTok (friends ask). Hours of content online for voices. Election risks: fake media pre-corroboration. Congressman showed AI fake of Alex Pereira shot (agent headless). AI video improving rapidly. New Star Wars Skywalker stories channel incredible, fake baby Luke Skywalker. Tyler Perry canceled billion-dollar Atlanta soundstage after seeing AI.
Clip: "I killed the Jedi... baby Luke Skywalker... No one can kill a Jedi." Mouth movement off.
Google announced Veo 2: prompt-based playable worlds like GTA graphics from Google Maps. Examples: walking Greenland, pack of Marlboro Lights rolling NYC, Francisco. Interact via controller/keyboard—no challenges/levels yet, but could add tasks. Skip waiting for delayed GTA 6; prompt instantly. Imagine GTA 6 via prompt before official.
Limited gaming time leads to boredom with current options; prefers new experiences weekly in just an hour. Visited The Sphere in Vegas for UFC event; walls displayed fights and incredible video displays. During Noche UFC for Mexican Independence Day, entire venue showed animated Mexican history with Aztecs and Mayans. Saw Wizard of Oz show there last month on mushrooms; black and white until entering Oz, then explodes in color; tornado featured wind blowing (hair moving), leaves falling, seat vibrations.
Judy Garland was amazing at 17, worked extremely hard. Many injuries on set: Tin Man got violently ill from toxic aluminum paint absorbed through skin; replaced immediately. Green-faced witch also got super sick. 124 Munchkins stayed at Culver Hotel in Culver City (or possibly Safari in Burbank); wild fuck fest, debaucherous parties, three to a bed in seven rooms.
Worth trip to Sphere despite Vegas feeling hollow; go for MMA fights, restaurants, events, then leave quickly (36-48 hour trip). Avoid Circus Circus. Comics living there for tax reasons and steady work: seven-night-a-week rooms, residencies, features paid well. Vinny Favorito, others thriving; Pauly doesn't live there but many do now. Tuesday residency at Jimmy Kimmel's by former Chelsea Lately comic (name forgotten).
Considering second Mothership location: New York City or Vegas. Vegas would fly in comics weekly; question local talent for development program. Emphasizes open mic nights, essential for developing talent unlike many improv clubs that prioritize headliners for quick sellouts. Denver Comedy Works excels under Wendy (best); promotes hosts to features, features to headliners, pays enough for rent, fosters healthy no-hack community.
Mothership pays comics differently, better than others; two open mic nights. With Adam Egan, designed for comedy's best: open mics, massive Kill Tony where beginners do a minute in arenas like Madison Square Garden (16,000 people). Tony invites back strong beginners, gives golden tickets, regulars do new minutes weekly; leads to road features/headlining (Ari Matti, William Montgomery, Kam Patterson now on SNL). Vegas may lack headliners but top comics raise community level.
New York City top talent hub, pure focus on standup (Attell, Patrice, Sam Morril, Mark Normand, Joe List). LA distracted by Hollywood. Mothership model: comics get 80% money, talent coordinator watches open mics (esp. Mondays pre-Kill Tony), database of potentials, spots on bigger shows. Encourages weirdos/homeless geniuses; recalls potluck nights at the store with crazies.
Industry filled with trust fund kids, UCB classes, marketing degrees doing bland suburban comedy; need freaks with no Plan B. Open mics make room for them. Clubs book influencers/TikTokers with no act on off-nights or weekends for guaranteed sellouts, harming brand (e.g., Punchline SF, Denver Comedy Works maintain quality). Corporate clubs like Improvs prioritize income over art colony; support development for long-term success.
Mothership: Door Guys are auditioned comics. Helium (Philly, Portland, owns Cap City in Austin) develops talent, sends features nationwide. Helium Philly one of the best.
Helium/Cap City canceled Michael Rapaport shows over pro-Israel/anti-Palestinian stance; called racist. Parallels: students kicked out of college/country for anti-Israel writing (e.g., Columbia). Universities should foster debate, not intimidation/self-censorship. High school memory: Barney Frank debated Moral Majority guy, trounced him logically; learned from discourse.
At BU, conservative president John Silber vs. Howard Zinn; vibrant debates, anti-apartheid marches like Berkeley in 60s. Colleges once more conservative/open (George Carlin specials); now Seinfeld/Chris Rock avoid due to heckling/protests. Prefers audiences with life experience (bills, breakups, cocktails) over college kids lacking it.
College shows paid rent: 10 shows/7 days, nooners in snowstorms (Chicago to North Dakota/Minnesota). Cafeteria gig: no stage, mic shared with pizza speakers ("Ronnie Pepperoni" interrupting). Restaurant waiting room with Mike Clark: jokes amid "Johnson party of five" announcements, turned into running gag. New England bars: TVs on for Red Sox playoffs/hockey, sound off but distracting; worse if shut off or team loses.
First night: Patriots crushed by Bears (1986), tanked at Comedy Hell (George McDonald, Stitches Comedy Club, Boston open mic). Didn't return for a while. Comedy Hell lineups: Joe Rogan, Greg Fitzsimmons, Dane Cook, Bill Burr, Marc Maron, Louis CK. George started: > "Welcome to Comedy Hell, where the pipe dreams of a handful of comedy yokos can soar as high as"
Guys would crash and burn in Comedy Hell on Broadway. Legit pros like Teddy Bergeron in his prime did guest spots. He had personal and substance issues that derailed his career, but when on, he was smooth, slick, and killer. Early in his comedy career, watching Bergeron made him want to quit. Bergeron had a big set on The Tonight Show playing piano. First appearance, Johnny Carson said he'd be a star. Then he went off the rails with drugs, partying in Hollywood.
After The Tonight Show, Bergeron wasn't popular in Boston due to huge ego and bad drinking. He was face down drunk on stairs at next comedy stop; Don Gavin walked by and said, "Didn't I see you on The Tonight Show?" Resentment toward guys who left Boston and made it, like "what about me?" Same with Steven Wright; guys got pissed because Wright wasn't even a headliner.
Jim Downey, The Tonight Show booker in early 80s, heard about Boston scene with Sweeney, Gavin, Kenny Rogerson—killers. Boston exploded with clubs and lines. Downey flew to The Ding Ho, first place to house comedy in Boston. Green room: chopping blow, jokes like "hair in Malden not as big as in Revere"—not Tonight Show material, but killing.
Steven Wright put on last out of pity. He'd been struggling; one comedian pulled him aside saying "this is not for you, try something else." Wright did his set well; only one booked, flown out next week. Killed so hard Johnny said stay in town, brought back next week. Did show 4-5 times first year, exploded as one of biggest comics of 80s. Others irate. Fran Salamita documentary When Stand Up Stood Out great for context. Unusual time; wave crested 82-84.
They started 88 and 86/88 same week. Still good but drifting. Within two years died off significantly. Too much comedy on TV: one-hour shows with 6-minute sets, Comedy on the Road, Half Hour Comedy Hour on MTV—overexposed. Clubs everywhere, then papering rooms with free passes. Still happens at big Improv (500-600 seats, 5 shows).
Free pass crowds different commitment, not interested. Too many rooms, not enough good comedians. Post-COVID comedy at heights: arenas (dozen people), theaters, clubs, pop-ups everywhere. Pop-ups: mailing list, announce day before, sell out. Wondering when it ends; feeling softer.
Depends on talent generation. Austin: street with Mothership has 7 clubs walking distance (3-4 nights/week): Sunset Room (Red Band), Creek and Cave (1 block), Vulcan (2 blocks), Black Rabbit, Velveeta Room, Cap City (20 min, headliners). Suburbs too: comedy nights at BBQ places, bars, Dripping Springs.
Comic books club shows but doesn't perform. At Skankfest, Mark Norman (New Orleans) drops in at little bar shows. When in town for Mothership, does sets down street—New York way: 10 min here, there, hopping clubs.
Skankfest: nude roast (everyone nude including judges), comedians boxing outside, green room with mushrooms, acid, weed, open bars. Like old Montreal Comedy Festival: get big via industry set, deal, TV. Now: get canceled to get famous. 7,000 cell phones taping horrendous shit. Vegas-style: what happens there stays there. Miss Skankfest contest reunites winner with family/parents. Skankfest 9s/10s (6s elsewhere), guys in cargo shorts, black sneakers, Anthrax t-shirts, mullets, Gas Digital subscriptions, hotter girlfriends.
Comedy good place. Tom O'Neill (Chaos, Charles Manson/CIA book) at Skankfest. Introduced to Duncan Trussell; Duncan obsessed, booked them on live podcast with Kurt Metzger (manic, huge joint, jumping subjects: Kissengers, Rockefellers, 60s, school lunches).
Chaos bananas, all true, verifiable facts make you question more. Tom real journalist, triple corroborated, no smoking gun—presents evidence. From genius family (brother US ambassador to Haiti, all PhDs). Brilliant Irish storyteller; each chapter (e.g., Jolly West) great story + journalism.
Took 20 years due to rabbit holes. Big publisher deal, sued after 7-8 years to get money back. Drove Uber, taught ESL, drank from paper cup. Publisher paired with Dan Piepenbring (successful biographer), reined in shelves of binders, boxes of cassette interviews—book out in 1 year. Resold well, paid debts, now doing very well.
Don't listen on tape (Tom hates); he got better at interviews, loose on friendly podcasts. Encourage him to narrate volume 2, come back on podcast. Impact opened eyes to 60s shenanigans.
Kurt hilarious, great writer (John Lilly costume: coonskin hat, wig, skeleton glove). Enjoys ideas, not fame/rich. 25th time on podcast; early at Ice House, house, strip mall studio. Ice House: standup + podcast with 6 people, joint going—secondhand high on stage (swapped podcast/stage).
Considered podcast studio at Mothership, another building/stage. Next: another city, buy building, make right. Crazy idea: big NY building recreating Mothership interior exactly (two staircases, dimensions). Punchline Sacramento mirrors SF; Comedy Cellar Vegas like NY.
Love walk to stage: green room downstairs, feel show overhead, tunnel under crowd, pop up. Built tunnel (architect Richard idea, avoiding crowd). Austin tunnel folklore. Green room posters: actual Ritz performers (Willie Nelson, Black Flag, Stevie Ray Vaughan 1983 photo).
Stevie Ray Vaughan and Bill Hicks like outlaw Texans: free expression, balls, genius, similar style/dress/hair. Rumor Alex Jones is Bill Hicks (both alive same time, different people; doesn't need logic). Still suing Jones billion dollars (Connecticut shooter family); liquidated business.
Bob Zmuda (Kaufman sidekick) wrote book claiming Kaufman alive. On podcast (garage show), heated argument on Kaufman's family feelings; Zmuda flipped chair, stormed out—Andy Kaufman-esque stunt, never revealed. Matches Zmuda's Tony Clifton (dressed as Kaufman, duped audiences).
Kaufman worked busboy at Jerry's Famous Deli (photo on wall while on Taxi), cleared tables despite fame. Wrestling women genius.
Jim Carrey in Kaufman movie embodied too much, fucked him up, acted asshole offstage (not like him). Method acting traps you imitating brain/behavior patterns. Sigur in talks to play in movie.
That's what this article is about. Saw a screenshot with Tom in it, confusing. 2024, not much happened.
There's a new two-part documentary on Mel Brooks that came out last week. Can't understate his effect on comedians, writers, and comedy directors. As a kid, dad played 2000 Year Old Man albums with Carl Reiner (not Rob Reiner). Obsessed. The Producers was dad's favorite movie, became his too. Wrote for Your Show of Shows early on, then Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, Spaceballs. Richard Pryor co-wrote Blazing Saddles with him; Pryor was supposed to play the sheriff.
Spaceballs is why Tesla's Model S is called Plaid. Also why Starship is shaped pointy at the tip—Elon Musk wanted it like Spaceballs. He loves Spaceballs.
Optimist robot companion coming out—excited to have one at home. Doesn't want robots or Alexa because they're listening. Started getting Austin feeds after mentioning it, never got them before. They know you're coming.
Google settled $68 million class action lawsuit for unlawfully recording users' conversations through Google Assistant-enabled devices without consent. Filed in 2019 in U.S. District Court for Northern District of California. Devices could unintentionally activate and record without hotword like "Hey Google"—always listening. Phones bring up ads for discussed topics not searched.
I'm not a criminal, I got nothing to hide.
Ramifications: data used to audit people via keywords. Woman protesting ICE had TSA cancelled at airport via facial recognition. Another protester went home to ICE agents waiting: "We know where you live." Just attended protest, possibly yelled. Protests coordinated, funded, doxing ICE agents via Signal chats.
Data is a commodity making companies wealthy unscrupulously. Nobody thought email or interests were valuable—now insanely so to advertisers. They're listening.
People using ChatGPT for therapy—might tell you to kill yourself. Sharing innermost things could be used against you for health insurance: deemed suicide risk or smoker trying to quit.
U.S. cyber defense chief (Gotimacooler, big Polish guy, plays defense for Rams?) accidentally uploaded secret government info to public ChatGPT last summer. DHS acting chief grilled on mass layoffs, failed polygraph. Sensitive CISA contracting documents marked "official use only," triggered cybersecurity warnings. Was parsing data.
At Philadelphia Helium Valentine's Day weekend. Sacramento Punchline next week. Lexington, Kentucky Comedy Off-Broadway. Check greatfitzsimmons.com for stand-up dates.
Podcasts: Sunday Papers with Mike Gibbons—thanks to shout-outs from Joe and Bert Kreischer. Fitztag Radio—Joe's been on many times.
Joe at Mothership this weekend. Greg coming down. Wrapping up.
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