Why Some Goals Feel Effortless (and others hurt) - Chris Bailey
In a Nutshell
Goals feel effortless when aligned with personal values (e.g., self-direction, security) in the Intention Stack—values at the top guide priorities, goals, plans, and daily tasks—while misaligned ones trigger aversion and procrastination from triggers like boredom, frustration, or lack of structure. Overcome this by editing goals to connect to top values, using aversion journaling, blocking distractions, habit stacking with rewards, and leveraging positive social contagion like joining groups. Apply the Rule of Three for intentions (3 daily, 3 weekly, 3 longer-term tasks) to build deliberate follow-through over autopilot defaults, recognizing values emerge from habitual actions.
These notes were generated by AI and may contain inaccuracies.
Chris Bailey explains that despite being productive and focused daily, some goals fall by the wayside, like exercise equipment unused in the basement. Everyone has a graveyard of forgotten goals. The book investigates what separates achieved goals from unachieved ones.
Dug into academic literature, spoke with Buddhist monks who excel in intentionality to untangle goal attainment. Factors include procrastination, values, desire, and social contagion. Key elements orbiting around aversion (leading to procrastination) and values.
Shalom Schwartz identified 12 fundamental human values/motivations:
- Self-direction
- Stimulation (novelty)
- Hedonism (pleasure)
- Achievement
- Power
- Face (how you come across to others)
- Security (personal and societal, rising recently)
- Tradition
- Conformity
- Humility
- Benevolence (kindness)
- Universalism (welfare of people and nature)
Everyone has a unique combination; Chris's highest are self-direction and hedonism (e.g., loves butter chicken). Power, conformity, tradition are his lowest. Like attracts like.
Goals aren't values though.
Goals and values are both intentions: values are what we intend to be (e.g., secure, leading to fitness priorities); goals are what we intend to do. Priorities live between values and goals. To-do lists, plans are all intentions.
Visualized as a pyramid/funnel:
- Present intentions (bottom, narrowest, shortest-term): to-do list items like tying shoelaces, going for a run.
- Plans: broader, e.g., plan to go for a run.
- Goals: medium-term, e.g., run a marathon in X time.
- Priorities: broader, e.g., become ultra fit.
- Values (top, broadest, lifelong): e.g., fitness links differently by gender—women often to pleasure (feeling good in body), men to security (strong/stable) or achievement.
Alignment makes goals effortless: e.g., six-pack abs for face value motivates if you value face; otherwise, headwind. Better: cardiovascular health for longevity (security, benevolence) to play with grandkids aligns deeply, feels motivating.
Intentions key to goals but often lead to failure (road to hell paved with good intentions). Reframe goals as predictions of where current/planned actions lead, not fixed targets. Predictions become expectations → disappointment (we're bad at forecasting future: hot water tank breaks, kid sick).
Edit/drop goals loosely; 92% fail New Year's resolutions due to attachment to hopeful predictions.
Two types:
- Default intentions: automatic/habits/autopilot (e.g., wake up, swipe phone apps). Monks call it "habit energy."
- Deliberate intentions: snap out via self-reflective capacity—moments of awakening, asking "What do I really want?"
Transition from autopilot to deliberate increases accomplishment.
- Social environments (social contagion): average of 5 closest people.
- Avoid pain/seek pleasure: e.g., say hi at cafe, Tinder.
- Biology: e.g., restroom urge on road trip.
Deeper/deliberate sources:
- Lessons learned: books/podcasts create learning loops for future responses.
- Mind wandering (48% future-oriented): shower, run, walk unearths ideas/plans/intentions.
Becoming intentional often involves wandering to break defaults.
Balance: enough room for ideas to emerge spontaneously (can't white-knuckle creativity). Gaps between activities fruitful—before/after tasks tap future-thinking wandering (e.g., walking to meeting without phone allows intentions to surface).
Beforehand, set an intention because thinking about the future makes the impending thing front of mind, increasing the likelihood of wandering to it—about 75-80% of the time. After activities, use the learning loop: set different intentions, think of action items from a meeting, or reflect on a meaningful conversation, like on the walk home from a coffee shop with a friend instead of distracting yourself. Internalize something to set different intentions later. Default intentions are often habits, needing reinforcement so deliberate actions change defaults.
New Year's resolutions aren't special about January 1st, but people obsess over the future and ruminate on the past unstructuredly. It invades consciousness without control, feels bad, unintended, and unproductive. Take time periodically to plan and reflect productively.
SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time-bound) sound ideal but research shows issues. Realistic goals limit potential; challenging goals lead to achieving more. Redundancy exists—measurable goals are specific. SMART originated from a Management Review article on managing employees, not an academic journal, and didn't originally stand for the current acronym. Like the 10,000-step or 10,000-hour rules, it morphed through cultural telephone.
Research on Google Scholar reveals realistic goals underperform challenging ones; much research waste studies SMART goals. Businesses use them widely. Edit goals over time to fit values better, overcome social misalignment, procrastination.
Procrastination arises from desire (aligned with values, unique motivational nature) minus aversion. Negative energy leads to punting tasks. Procrastination is a visceral, emotional reaction with little logic.
Triggers of aversion (procrastination causes):
- Boring
- Frustrating
- Unpleasant
- Far away in the future
- Unstructured
- Meaningless (not aligned with values)
80/20 solutions:
- If unstructured, add structure (lowest hanging fruit).
- Tasks often trigger multiple; e.g., taxes are boring, unstructured, frustrating, unpleasant.
- Delegate if possible (e.g., hire for taxes).
- Goal editing: align with values, connect to deeper meaning (e.g., six-pack abs to feeling secure in body, heart health in retirement; link to top two values).
- Make process enjoyable: do over fancy latte, resistance list with rewards/habit points, gamify, glass of wine/colorful drink saved for then, habit stacking with guilty pleasures.
For tough, sucky tasks (no easy rewards): stack music, coffee shop, latte—but distractions like Instagram persist. Solution: no choice—use apps like Freedom, Cold Turkey, Self-Control to block more attractive distractions (email, social media, news). Specify block list; requires restarting computer to bypass.
Aversion journaling: Grab notepad and Pilot Precise V5 RT pen (best pen, $2, rolls smoothly; wife agreed after argument). Write why resisting—methodical (check triggers) or casual. Counterbalance ugliness, find tactical fix, or shift relationship to task. Choose: journal or do the thing. Eventually untangles knots, overcomes resistance; works reliably.
Some goals remain ugly after editing; decide if worth pursuing. If extensively edited and still ugly, consider dropping if misaligned. For necessary ugly goals (e.g., lower cholesterol), litmus test: Will I be happy I did it? What tangible daily difference to life? Days different → life different.
Avoid sepia-toned goals (fantasy of perfect post-change life). Example: Waking at 5:30 AM—meditate, gym, read paper—but hate ritual (early bedtime conflicts with social life, hockey, interesting events). Research by Till Roenneberg: no socioeconomic difference by wake time (5 AM vs. 8 AM); intentionality with time matters. Night owls succeed shifted (e.g., 7:30-8 AM).
Many goals are socially acceptable cosplays of ambition—trendy (keto, meat and fruit, microdosing)—not truly wanted, but sound good to say. Keep goal list by context (personal/work), under values. Revealed guilt over non-conformity (e.g., waking late despite knowing better rhythm yields better life/work). Conformity as value makes expected goals meaningful; low conformity + high self-direction rebels, but guilt lingers.
People often respond to 'How's work?' with 'I'm so busy,' overestimating how long they work and wearing busyness as a badge of honor, implying the world needs them. Similarly, we project status onto our goals. Tapping into self-reflective capacity is crucial; without it, we'll never truly get what we want.
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Social pressure improves performance, like training harder in a class than alone. To make goals feel deeper:
- Align with values.
- Leverage social environments despite productivity extremists advising to avoid unsupportive people; life is complex with good friends having bad habits or family with unconducive habits.
For big new goals or habits, reflect on doubling down on positive social contagion: join a running group for workout/run goals, or a knitting group/meetup. Chris joined a knitting store meetup with older women; his improvement curve accelerated there versus now, where the habit is fading. Nothing feels deeper than human-to-human connection.
Becoming more intentional is a skill that improves over time, increasing follow-through (book originally titled Follow Through, renamed in UK due to connotations). Default follow-through on New Year's resolutions is 8%. Build intentionality practices:
- For obligatory ugly tasks (e.g., lowering cholesterol), use procrastination tactics like shrinking resistance: scale down time (e.g., write for 20 minutes instead of an hour) to overcome resistance, adding structure and reducing boredom/frustration.
- Edit goals for latitude: instead of 'write employee handbook' (aversive, conformity value), frame as 'mentor new employees and get creative with handbook project' (aligns with benevolence or self-direction). Same actions, but one connects to deep motivations.
- Know top 2 values from the 12 discussed earlier; align goals to them. Aligned goals feel effortless as extensions of who you are.
Accommodate layers of intention across time frames with the Rule of Three:
- Daily: Fast-forward to end of day; list 3 main things to accomplish. Forces prioritization.
- Weekly: 3 things in work/personal contexts; daily intentions contribute to weekly.
- Longer-term: Weekly intentions feed into goals/plans, aligned with values.
Daily fits weekly, which fits plans/goals/values, developing skill in intentionality, follow-through, and accomplishment.
Values are constructed from default intentions. Default actions shape values (e.g., meditating for self-direction/calmness/security; calling friends for benevolence; overeating for security). Defaults aren't just frustrating—they're admirable, revealing nature and past decisions. Marvel at beautiful default intentions that make us human, then layer deliberate intentions (goals, values, priorities, plans, daily intentions) to guide life.
Intentional: How to Finish What You Start (audiobook available). chrisbailey.com for newsletter and more.
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