Cardi B Opens Up About the Darkest Year of Her Life
In a Nutshell
Cardi B reveals she overcame her darkest year of severe depression caused by marital breakdown and career pressure, emerging stronger than ever through time, faith, and resilience. She emphasizes that her success was earned through relentless planning and work ethic, not given, and continues despite relentless criticism that affects her mental health. She stresses financial independence for women, the hidden emotional costs of success, and maintaining faith while refusing to let negativity diminish what she's built.
These notes were generated by AI and may contain inaccuracies.
Cardi B recalls a childhood memory her sister shared about seeing her sitting alone in the school cafeteria with her head down. Cardi explains she was not lonely but needed time to think and be by herself. She describes having had a constant internal dialogue since age 5, planning her future and building scenarios in her mind like playing dollhouse.
Cardi B states she is always planning a universe in her head, imagining and planning 5 years ahead. She clarifies this is not about different personalities but straight planning for tomorrow and the future. She notes people sometimes interpret her focused expression as being spaced out, but she is actually deep in thought planning ahead.
Cardi B reveals that everything she planned and dreamed of since age 5 she has achieved. As a child, she wanted to be as pretty and beautiful as her mother, and also wanted to be very successful. She specifically hated being poor and refused to raise her children in the hood, determining she had to find a way to avoid that.
She always wanted children and figured out how to have them while achieving her goals. Cardi explains she always has plan B's, C's, and D's ready but did not have to settle for them because she achieved her dream job, though she notes it is more difficult than what she envisioned.
Cardi B describes always feeling she was going to be a superstar. Her grandmother used to tell her this repeatedly, despite Cardi feeling like a little black sheep compared to prettier cousins. Her grandmother would encourage her to practice singing because she was going to be a superstar.
Cardi notes that both she and her sister have strong personalities, and teachers and friends would tell them they were going to be somebody someday. She questioned what her calling was, trying acting and singing but not being the best at either compared to others in school.
Cardi B discusses trying different things in school - acting, singing, being funny - but not seeing any as her specific calling or job. She wondered what her calling was that would make her somebody. She credits God with giving her this path and expresses amazement that millions of people know her.
Cardi B explains why she did not want to raise her children in the place she grew up. She describes how peer pressure and environment influence people, particularly boys who may go in the wrong direction due to circumstances around them. She notes people grow up faster in the hood.
At age 11 in sixth grade, Cardi recalls girls already being involved in activities her 11-year-old nieces now avoid in favor of playing Roblox. She describes aggressive behavior from boys in the Bronx, including unwanted physical contact and confrontations.
Cardi B explains her witty personality developed as a defense mechanism from school teasing about appearance and clothing. She would practice jokes in the mirror at home to respond to teasing the next day. She states this toughness and wit developed because boys and girls would make fun of her and others.
Cardi B describes growing up in an apartment where despite her mother's strict cleanliness standards - brushing corners by hand, daily dishes, mopping, taking out garbage - roaches and mice were unavoidable due to neighbors' habits. She mentions her mother was told she was pretty for no reason by Caribbean standards that expected her to find a wealthy man.
Cardi B recounts a specific incident when her hardworking mother had to seek welfare benefits. A social worker spoke rudely and nastily to her mother, who needed the help despite her strong character. Cardi describes feeling this vision stays in her head and motivates her never to be in a position where someone talks to her like she is a dog because she needs help.
Cardi B emphasizes that women should have their own resources even with a wealthy partner. She learned from aunts and cousins' experiences that men with money can leave or stop supporting children, leaving women responsible. She notes relationships can end and fathers may not fulfill obligations, making financial independence essential.
Cardi states she wanted children but needed to have her own resources before becoming a mother, which she achieved. She has three children and wants six total, loving family and the possibility of not being alone in an assisted living facility.
Cardi B describes never truly feeling safe despite milestones. When first on TV, she did not feel she had made it because reality TV participants often returned to previous work. Getting signed to a label felt like being almost there but not where she wanted to be.
She identifies the release of Bodak Yellow and earning her first real million dollars that she did not have to share as the moment she felt she had made it. However, she notes still not feeling comfortable due to constant attempts by others to take success away.
Cardi B describes the ongoing challenge of staying at her level of success, remaining relevant, maintaining mental health, and getting up every day. She notes the difficulty of having millions of people who love you while millions criticize and tell you that you do not deserve your success despite hard work.
Cardi B addresses assumptions that pregnancy prevents her from releasing albums. She explains her first child led her to cancel a Bruno Mars tour because she lacked experience with childcare and was figuring out postpartum alone. Three months after giving birth, she was doing four to five shows weekly until COVID.
She released WAP during COVID, then got pregnant again. She clarifies the lack of album releases was due to not having a body of work ready, not pregnancy. Last year she planned an album but could not focus due to depression.
Cardi B compares creating music to baking a cake, practicing and perfecting the craft before releasing songs. She describes the pain of criticism where people reject work after significant effort, comparing it to having intimate relations and being told you should never do it again.
She states this criticism affects her mental state and is why she sometimes avoids releasing music for peace of mind. After giving birth to her daughter, she felt happy and started dating, but recent song criticism brought back negative feelings she had not experienced for almost a year.
Cardi B describes falling into the deepest depression she had ever experienced last year. The depression was caused by career pressure and feeling love dying in her marriage from both sides. She felt very lonely, having chosen to be alone while trying to end the relationship.
She describes the difficulty of ending a relationship when the heart is not ready, crying daily and thinking about the situation constantly. Being pregnant during this time added thoughts about raising her last child without her partner and losing the friendship aspect of the relationship.
Cardi B states she overcame the depression and feels the strongest she has ever been, comparing it to feeling powerful at ages 22-24. She worked with Shakira during this period and asked how she overcame similar experiences.
She mentions trying therapy sessions via Zoom but found it strange telling personal business to a stranger. She also recorded music throughout spring and summer but ultimately felt she needed to let things die on their own.
Cardi B describes dealing with multiple pressures simultaneously: personal marital issues, fans demanding albums and products, people who dislike her talking down on her, and peers adding to the stress during her depression period.
After giving birth to her daughter, Cardi B experienced a mental breakdown while dealing with peers trying to start problems with her. She attempted to work through the pain and sleep it off, but eventually decided to take a break from work and go out every weekend with friends. The fear of opening up to someone and giving them a piece of herself made the healing process difficult.
Cardi reflected on how time serves as the ultimate reset and possesses genuine healing power. She acknowledged the cliché that time heals all wounds but emphasized its truth, noting that time, distance, and patience are essential for recovery. However, she stressed that seeking professional help should not be avoided in the meantime, even though therapy didn't work particularly well for her after six sessions.
Cardi discussed giving advice to girls about bossing up, going to work, and getting pretty, but revealed that even while following this approach, she carried pain in her heart. During nights out with friends, around 4:30 a.m. when returning home drunk, she would feel profound loneliness and the absence of someone to talk to, highlighting the disconnect between external appearances and internal struggles.
When releasing new music, Cardi experienced some of her lowest emotional states. The criticism hurts most because she puts significant heart and soul into her work, always striving to perfect her craft. She explained that she doesn't consider herself a lazy person and works to perfect everything she does, from her accent to her flows.
Cardi addressed how people often cite her accent as a flaw, but she views it as her superpower that makes her unique. She doesn't have a traditional Spanish accent but rather a distinctive way of speaking that she has worked to perfect, just as she perfected her pole dancing skills while working as a stripper.
Cardi emphasized that her success was not given to her but earned through deliberate planning and hard work. She documented her journey from the beginning, planning every step like she did as a little girl. Labels initially struggled to take her seriously due to her big personality, often offering substandard record deals.
Before major label recognition, Cardi used money earned from partying and hosting to fund her own concerts in New York, drawing 500 to 800 people who sang along to her songs. She presented this evidence to labels to demonstrate that her success was real and not just based on Instagram or her Love & Hip Hop persona.
Cardi expressed frustration at narratives suggesting she didn't deserve her success or that it came easily. She emphasized missing birthdays and family events, and that her career has impacted her personal relationships and marriage. She stressed that everything she achieved is documented and that she didn't receive success through sexual favors.
During a particularly difficult week, Cardi found herself in tears, contemplating whether to "let the devil win" for the sake of peace of mind. She reflected on the irony of praying to God for blessings only to potentially give them away due to external criticism, questioning how God would feel about such actions.
Cardi ultimately decided against letting negative forces win, recognizing that doing so would be disrespectful to the blessings she had prayed for. She committed to not taking time off despite pressure, instead choosing to push forward with her album rollout and refuse to let critics diminish what she had worked so hard to achieve.
Cardi defined love as effort, explaining that it involves studying someone's personality and going beyond obvious gestures. She values someone who can make her laugh even during difficult times, noting how a single joke from her boyfriend helped shift her perspective during a moment of tears.
Rather than generic gifts that anyone could give, Cardi values when someone truly listens to her desires and acts on them. She shared an example of someone renting a castle in Paris because she had mentioned wanting to visit Versailles, demonstrating the difference between surface-level gestures and genuine attention to her words.
Cardi acknowledged being a hard person to figure out, giving only what she wants to give until someone truly cracks through her defenses. She explained that she opens up little by little, gradually showing more of her soul to those who earn her trust.
Cardi reflected on how no one warns you about the costs that come with achieving dreams and how success tests you in unexpected ways. She noted that money and success don't fix everything, and that problems persist regardless of financial status.
Cardi expressed that life never becomes easier, whether you're poor or rich. She questioned when life might start getting simpler, acknowledging that problems simply evolve - from financial concerns to health issues, from managing relationships to handling increased responsibilities that come with age and success.
Cardi emphasized that successful people work incredibly hard, using Beyoncé and her partner as examples. She noted that her partner wakes up at 5:30-6:00 a.m. and works until 7:00 p.m., yet faces criticism despite his work ethic. She stressed that her own seven-year journey reflects daily dedication and continuous planning.
Cardi described her current state of exhaustion, with back pain, butt pain, sleepiness, and headaches, yet continuing to work through scheduled commitments including promo shoots and studio sessions. She emphasized that achieving goals requires consistent effort without complaint.
Cardi maintains a daily spiritual connection with God, speaking to him conversationally rather than through formal prayer. She feels comfortable cursing and crying during these conversations, believing God knows and accepts her authentic self. She describes this relationship as similar to talking to a friend.
Cardi believes she has angels given to her by God and maintains strong faith despite others' skepticism. She respects others' beliefs while holding firmly to her own, noting that she cannot be convinced otherwise given how consistently God has answered her prayers throughout her life.
Cardi views prayer as the most powerful gift she can offer someone, considering it the ultimate expression of love. She believes that praying together can create miracles and maintains that the voice she heard as an imaginary friend as a child was actually God speaking to her.
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