Don't get trapped by diffusion of responsibility
In a Nutshell
When asking a group for help, diffusion of responsibility makes it likely no one responds. To get help, ask a specific person with a clear request and deadline. When others ask a group, step up yourself to build trust and demonstrate leadership.
These notes were generated by AI and may contain inaccuracies.
One of the most common newbie mistakes people make at work is sending an email or message to their team asking "can someone help me with this, please?" and ending up not getting the help needed in time or not at all.
In 1964, a young woman named Kitty Genovese was brutally attacked and stabbed to death outside of her apartment in New York City. A lot of people heard her scream or even watched the crime happen from their windows, but no one helped or even called the police in time. When the killer Winston Moseley was captured, detectives asked him how he dared to attack a woman in front of so many witnesses. His answer was "I knew they wouldn't do anything. People never do."
A lot of psychological research was done to understand how this could happen, which led to the concepts called bystander effect and diffusion of responsibility. This explains that a larger number of bystanders actually decreases the likelihood of someone getting help, because each individual would have a weaker sense of responsibility and think someone else must have already helped or would do so.
This exact same phenomenon happens very frequently in the workplace. When asking "can someone help me with this problem please", the request has little power compared to someone screaming for their life during a murder. If that couldn't get people to help, a vague group request is unlikely to succeed either.
When needing help, ask an individual to help rather than a group. If the problem is something that anyone in the team can help with, pick someone who is currently available, someone talked with before, or just pick someone who looks most active. This can usually get the help needed very quickly.
If unsure who has the knowledge to help, pick an individual thought to know who can help and ask them to give a name. This is a lot better than asking in a large group "can someone help me please".
Give people a clear instruction upfront on what is expected of them. Instead of "I need help", ask "can you review this document and let me know if you think it's good to go". When saying "I need help", people don't immediately know how much work is needed to help. Human brains often assume the worst and think it's going to be a lot of work, which would demotivate them from jumping in. When giving clear instructions, it implicitly helps them assess how likely and how easy it would be for them to help.
Always share the expectation on when help is needed. If something is needed by the end of the day, state so. If it's something not really needed until next week, tell them and remember to remind them next week. This can create the right level of urgency, which helps make things happen.
When noticing others asking for help in front of a large group, that is a great opportunity to demonstrate leadership. Step forward if able to help. That's what leaders do when responsibility is ambiguous - they assume the responsibility. When helping others in such scenarios, they will know that the helper is reliable, they will trust the helper and come whenever they need support. That makes the helper a strong leader in the most natural way.
Good leaders never call themselves the leader and expect others to follow. They bring clarity when things are ambiguous. They give a hand when others can use the help. They inspire confidence when people don't know what to do. The scenario where someone is asking a group for help creates the perfect opportunity to step up and lead. This is how diffusion of responsibility can be used to advantage.
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