Lawyer Reveals the Exact Words that End Any Argument - Jefferson Fisher

Fear of Sharing Feelings in Relationships00:00

It's a valid fear that sharing how you feel may push the other person away. The real question becomes: if you do push them away, what happens next? Life isn't going to fall apart. If you enter the conversation without sugarcoating and without trying to appease the other person, you're being genuine rather than setting up the relationship on fake. Otherwise, you're giving them a mask and a character of what will make them feel good. The underlying fear is whether you are enough by yourself. When you realize you can be enough without them, those fears go away.

Self-love needs to be worked on regardless of whether you have the conversation or not, because that is at the root of it.

The Number One Communication Mistake01:30

The number one communication mistake people make is thinking that what is said is exactly what's heard. In relationships, people often repeat back what you said and argue about it, saying "you said" something that wasn't actually said. The better approach is to ask: "What did you hear?" This allows you to clarify if needed by saying "That's not at all what I meant. Let me redo that." Asking what the other person heard gives a different perspective that strengthens the connection, whether in business or relationships.

People are terrible judges of their own subjective expressions. They don't know what their face looks like when talking unless they're looking in a mirror the whole time. Someone with strong emotional intelligence gets quickly to asking for a reset and saying "that's not my intention. My intention was this."