Dating Coach: The #1 Sign He’ll Actually Stay with You | Jillian Turecki
In a Nutshell
The #1 sign someone will stay with you is that they treat you well, you can be your real self with them, and you share core values—because values, not chemistry or charisma, keep relationships intact when life gets hard. Stop chasing people who aren't into you or texting endlessly without meeting, and stop expecting instant transformation or perfection. Instead, build self-awareness, speak up early, give people a chance beyond the initial spark, and focus on those who respect you and align with how you want to live.
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The top question people ask is what are the three biggest mistakes they're making in dating right now. The first mistake is focusing only on dating apps. While apps aren't necessarily discouraged, relying on them exclusively leads to burnout and exhaustion from meeting strangers. Instead, people need to expand their circle and try new things to let relationships unfold organically.
The second mistake is impatience. It's not every day that you meet someone with whom you want to build a relationship, and it's not easy. Being proactive means treating dating like a business—going on dates every week with low expectations rather than sitting passively waiting for someone to appear.
The third mistake is high expectations. People get excited texting with someone and feel a vibe, but then meet in person and don't feel a spark, which leads to learned helplessness—the belief that "it's never going to happen" and that the current state is permanent.
People get into very long texting exchanges lasting weeks, which creates a false sense of intimacy. They feel they have an amazing connection without ever having met the person, and sometimes they never meet at all. The recommendation is to text back and forth for about a day, then make a date to meet—either in person, on FaceTime, or Zoom. Time is too precious to waste texting with a stranger who may not be available for a month or more.
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