Raising a Dog & Mastering Calm Assertive Energy | Cesar Millan
In a Nutshell
Cesar Millan's core message is that humans must lead dogs through calm, assertive energy—specifically the states of silence, calmness, confidence, love, and joy—rather than words or excessive affection. The essential framework is "exercise, discipline, affection": structured walks establish pack order, rules and boundaries create mental discipline, and affection is given only as a reward for calm, patient states. Dogs are born into fixed pack positions (front, middle, or back) and respond to human energy and actions, not human emotional projections; giving affection to excitement or anxiety creates problems, while redirecting dogs to calm surrender produces well-behaved, safe animals.
These notes were generated by AI and may contain inaccuracies.
Affection should be given to patience, calmness, and open mind. When a dog misbehaves, redirect the dog back to a good state of mind rather than allowing fight, flight, or avoidance responses. Good states of mind include patience, surrender, and happy-go-lucky. Bad states of mind include fight, flight, and avoidance.
Andrew Huberman introduces Cesar Millan, known as the dog whisperer. The episode covers human psychology and behavior applicable to all relationships, not just dog ownership. The focus includes learning a tool for maintaining a clear, calm state of mind to interact more effectively with clarity and intention. Dogs respond best to this state of mind, which helps them feel safe and healthy.
Dogs must be understood through their biology and psychology as pack animals. Human tendencies to view dogs solely as pets or family members should be set aside to recognize their hardwired brain and biological traits. This understanding enables people to become the best leaders for dogs. Many concepts may initially sound counterintuitive until dog biology is understood.
Dogs respond to people's energy and actions rather than words. While dogs can learn words and commands, they primarily respond to the energy and actions associated with those commands. Effective dog ownership means making dogs feel as healthy and safe as possible.
Huberman shares his positive experience raising his first puppy, Costello, a bulldog mastiff mix, using principles from Cesar's book Be the Pack Leader. Costello lived 11 years and was well-behaved enough to bring into classrooms and various environments. He loved kids and people. Huberman credits these methods for developing an incredible relationship with the dog.
Strummer, a new bulldog mastiff mix, is introduced as the newest member of the Huberman Lab podcast team. Strummer is calmer and breathes easier than pure English bulldogs. Huberman applies Cesar's methods to training Strummer, including two daily walks.
Huberman expresses gratitude for Cesar's teachings, which impacted not only his relationship with Costello but also his work life and entire life. Cesar explains that without knowledge behind instinct, behavior is purely reaction, so animals cannot be blamed for doing the wrong thing. Guaranteeing a dog does the right thing requires the human to have good energy.
Good energy consists of:
- The power of silence, which produces patience
- The power of calmness, which produces trust (achieved through breathing)
- The power of confidence, which comes from knowledge
- The power of love given at the right time to avoid nurturing wrong behaviors
- The power of joy expressed as celebration after success
Cesar uses the example of soccer teams at the World Cup: players must be patient, calm, confident, love what they are doing, and celebrate afterward. This formula of silence, calmness, confidence, love, and joy connects spirit, instinct, heart, and mind, making teams effective.
Training addresses the mind, but connecting with a dog involves spirit, instinct, and heart. The framework is: trust the spirit, respect instinct, love with the heart, create with the mind. Many Americans are unfamiliar with feeling and exchanging energy with dogs.
When rehabilitating a dog, the goal is bringing back the happy spirit, healthy instinct, and understanding of rules, boundaries, and limitations. These elements create well-behaved dogs regardless of breed. The same principle applies to humans: race does not matter; what matters is having a happy spirit, healthy instinct, and well-educated mind. Good humans help other humans and create well-behaved dogs by following this path.
Huberman describes an experience where, while walking Costello with a good stride, he sent approval energy by thinking and feeling it without changing his gaze or leash tension. Costello looked up at him. Similar energy exchanges occurred at home after good days. When Costello did something undesirable, disapproval energy could stop the behavior even from meters away.
Silence is powerful, as demonstrated by prayer. Animals maintain sensitivity to energy for safety and peace because they stay within instinct rather than entering the mind. Communication should use energy, body language, and intention rather than words.
The law of attraction and creation are accessible through focused intention. The most difficult law is maintenance, which requires patience and silence. Silence represents infinite energy. Calmness enables animals to trust. Intention communicates what is wanted without words.
Cats demonstrate this principle by controlling dogs of any breed through silence, calm, and confidence. Labeling a breed as dangerous causes people to give their power away; silence, calmness, and confidence restore power. The first line of communication is before sound. Dogs should listen to silence, calmness, and what is in the mind without words.
The relationship with Costello improved dramatically when Huberman understood that showing up with the right energy had far more potency than words. Structure and order were maintained even when bringing the dog into environments like classrooms to prevent misbehavior from excessive attention.
Americans travel to India to practice silence, fasting, and stretching. In third-world countries, people learn to control hunger, be quiet, and be calm. These practices create good structure and discipline, enabling skills like walking dogs off-leash. Cesar walked 40-60 dogs off-leash in America because that was all he knew, which led to media attention.
The leash in the animal world represents trust, respect, and love. Pack leadership provides direction and protection through the energy of silence, calmness, confidence, love, and joy.
Learning proper walking technique eliminates 90% of behavioral problems. The remaining 10% involves rules, boundaries, and limitations.
Puppies naturally learn to follow their parents first. Follow, play, and explore are the initial activities. Play and explore become reward activities. Following teaches focus and non-distraction. When dogs walk in front, they enter a play or explorer mindset. Daily front-walking teaches dogs they must lead.
Dogs positioned in the middle or back of the pack experience stress when leading. Front-of-the-pack dogs require significant knowledge from the owner. Most dogs are naturally middle or back of the pack.
Back-of-the-pack dogs are followers and become fearful when mishandled. Middle-of-the-pack dogs are naturally happy-go-lucky and serve as the HR of the family but become hyper with excessive excitement. Front-of-the-pack dogs provide direction and protection.
For typical domestic situations, middle-of-the-pack dogs are ideal. In a litter, the front-of-the-pack puppy is the largest and practices dominance by moving siblings away from the mother. Middle-of-the-pack puppies are second to reach the mother. Back-of-the-pack puppies wait and appear naturally shy and sensitive. Breeders often use colored ribbons to identify pack positions.
Breeders use colored ribbons to identify puppies by position in the litter: front of the pack (obvious leader), middle of the pack, and back of the pack. When entering a room with puppies separated from the mother, staying quiet reveals these positions through behavior. The front of the pack approaches new objects confidently, the middle plays with them, and the back stays distant. This positioning is hardwired and guarantees predictable behavior patterns.
Selecting a middle-of-the-pack puppy from any breed—border collie, golden retriever, or pitbull—ensures easier training because these dogs are born natural followers. Front-of-the-pack dogs, regardless of breed including Chihuahuas, are born with dispositions toward giving direction and protection, requiring owners with greater knowledge and skill.
Animals recognize energy rather than physical territory. Cesar describes maintaining a strong energy field despite personal challenges including wars and divorces, always returning to silence, calmness, confidence, love, and joy. This energy allows him to manage front-of-the-pack dogs, though he chooses to keep middle and back of the pack dogs at home because front-of-the-pack dogs require significant work and specific jobs like border patrol work.
Costello was identified as front of the pack from three weeks old—he pushed other puppies from food bowls, ate everything, peed wherever he wanted, and showed no yelping or yapping. Raising him proved difficult. Strummer, at four and a half months, is middle or back of the pack, was second born, and was initially called the pick of the litter but showed distance-keeping behavior and high sensitivity.
Strummer's sensitivity makes him sweeter and more playful, though this playfulness can distract from maintaining proper order. The goal is teaching correct hierarchy so the dog can be trusted in any situation, including alone with children.
Humans can move between pack positions depending on circumstances and expertise. Scientists may not appear alpha in general settings but dominate in laboratories or lectures. Every person should honestly assess their own position—front, middle, or back of pack—without the ego-driven desire to claim alpha status.
Back-of-the-pack humans master calm surrender, the more sensitive state of mind. Cesar enters this back-of-the-pack state when assessing dogs, moves to front-of-the-pack when providing direction and protection, then returns to middle-of-the-pack once goals are achieved. Dogs are born into fixed positions, while humans can shift between states.
Affection and love energy are not strong energies in the animal world. The no look, no touch, no speak approach when entering the home prevents creating anxious, excited dogs. Most people greet dogs with squealing excitement, which teaches dogs to greet all humans with jumping and excitement.
After implementing the protocol, dogs become calm upon the owner's return—excited but not jumping or touching. This respects the dog's natural greeting ritual where dogs wait for permission to enter intimate space, showing respect rather than excitement.
Three rituals are essential for dogs: the meeting/greeting, the walk, and feeding. The greeting reminds dogs of safety, peace, trust, and respect through nose, eyes, and ears. Dogs are born with nose open, eyes opening at 15 days, and ears at 21 days—meeting parents through nose first, then eyes, then ears.
Greeting with excitement creates dogs that greet all humans excitedly and jump on people. The proper ritual establishes the human as source of safety and peace rather than excitement.
Instinct cannot be removed from animals. Horses in Central Park demonstrate that triggers can override conditioning, and police dogs or military dogs can bite handlers when overworked. Working dogs like Belgian Malinois used in special operations require constant leadership—handlers who become soft risk bites because dogs react instantly when energy drops.
For anxious dogs, the owner should remain in calm space while ignoring pawing and running. Physical exercise is critical—most people walk dogs only 20-30 minutes, leaving them confined 20-23.5 hours, bordering on abuse. Walk duration depends on the dog's energy level (low, medium, high), not pack position. Back-of-the-pack sled dogs require the same stamina as front dogs.
Weighted backpacks add psychological and physical challenge. Start without weight until the dog surrenders to wearing it, then add five pounds. Every addition challenges the mind toward surrender, which calms the body through energy expenditure. The daily goal is emptying the dog's energy tank—a tired dog creates no problems.
Rules create discipline: food placed down cannot be touched until given permission. Strummer learned to suppress action at eight weeks within half a day. Food can be placed in front of him, the owner can leave the room, and he waits. This top-down inhibition carries over to other situations.
A strict rule of no skin in the dog's mouth is enforced—no exceptions. When violated, a yelp communicates the boundary. This creates trust, calmness, and reliability.
Structured walks are instinctual—puppies follow parents after two months to find food and water. Dogs want to walk more than 30 minutes by six to eight months. Yards are not equivalent to walks; dogs simply run in circles. A dog must walk as a bird must fly and a fish must swim.
Homeless people and blind individuals demonstrate proper dog relationships—the dog follows in a follower state. Nine out of ten homeless people have well-behaved pit bulls off-leash. In Mexico and third-world countries, dogs walk off-leash naturally.
Practice the three rituals—no touch, no talk, no eye contact during greeting, walk, and feeding—for at least three weeks to establish the habit. This creates beautiful silence and calm surrender. When visiting dog parks or beaches, match play partners by energy level, being selective as with children's playmates.
Eight automatically regulates bed temperature throughout the night. The Pod 5 includes an autopilot AI engine that learns sleep patterns and adjusts temperature across different sleep stages. It elevates the head if snoring occurs and makes other shifts to optimize sleep.
The day starts with a walk, then discipline training, then food, then affection. This is not hours of cuddling on the couch. The sequence is exercise, discipline, and then affection, which allows dogs to live a natural life. Discipline is not punishment. Discipline means making sure the dog follows rules and limitations, follows structure, and achieves becoming well-behaved or achieving success. The pet parent role involves direction, protection, and love. Most dog people focus on affection first, but the correct order is exercise, discipline, affection for body, mind, and heart.
Most people are lazy and do not want to walk. When they do walk, they talk on the phone or look at their phone. The dog senses if energy is on the walk or elsewhere. A flexi leash with a harness combined with phone use represents disconnection. Walking is the moment of connection to mother nature through the dog. The dog senses whether the human respects God, Earth, and the moment, creating a vibe where the dog enters a follower state and imitates the energy present. Prayer involves imitation of everybody doing the same energy.
In third world countries, people are aware of death very early. The connection to the spiritual comes first, and everything else follows. This is the complete inversion of the first world approach where logical structures and science come first. In America, people do not want anything to die. In Mexican culture, the Day of the Dead teaches acceptance of death. In Mexico, death is visible everywhere. Growing up seeing death leads to believing God will protect you, which builds spirituality. People surrender to a higher power, to a pack leader providing direction, protection, and love, and to Earth providing food while caring for Earth. This combination of spirituality and instincts exists in third world countries.
Latinos are taught spirit first, then mother nature, then work, then family, with love at the end. In the United States, the order differs, and there is an idea that stuff is the portal to happiness. People who grew up with nothing learn to be happy, healthy, loving, and smart with nothing first. Then when they have something, they are already happy, healthy, loving, and smart, and it adds to accomplishments. Animals do not understand money, fame, or power. Animals understand natural, simple, profound. Natural is instinct. Simple is love. Profound is spirit. Even without reading ability or geographic knowledge, a person can have an amazing relationship with God, mother nature, and family.
Dogs do not care about titles, roles, or jobs. They just want to be together, want walks, and want to be part of the joy of a family or laboratory. Dogs reveal how different humans are as a species and how many things created like jobs and roles are human creations. Removing uniforms, degrees on the wall, and accomplishments reveals a different kind of interaction based on who the person is, what moves them, whether they are good or bad, and whether they are scared.
When visiting homes, the human tells the story and the dog tells the truth. The dog immediately shows the energy felt, the philosophy practiced, and the actions taken. The dog is the most honest member of the house and does not know how to lie. The approach involves listening to the human to understand where they are stuck, then working with silence as part of the spiritual world, calmness as part of the instinctual world through breathing, and simple information through nose, eyes, ears, and rules by limitations for the intellectual world. Love comes after the dog achieves the right state.
People learn to love an excited dog, anxious dog, or a dog that was a victim. When rescuing a dog from a bad situation, the family feels bad and describes the dog by the past, learning to love the past. The dog becomes fearful and controlling. At the ranch, providing silence, calmness, and being part of the pack changes the dog to live in the moment. What happened a month or year ago becomes irrelevant. What matters is how the dog is treated now. The only thing dogs need to become good is a safe, peaceful environment, a trustworthy and respectful human, with exercise, discipline, or exercise, mental stimulation, and activities. Then love comes at the end. Safe, peace, love, trust, respect, love, exercise, discipline, affection. Love is a reward. To stay happy, be grateful. To stay healthy, breathe and exercise. To stay smart, learn, achieve, and give it away, or learn to turn the mind off. Practice love once spirit, instinct, and mind are mastered. Love silence, faith, calmness, trust in yourself, and confidence in the mind.
Dogs can smell stress and feel stress. It smells through the feeling of energy and electricity inside. When not functioning normally, that energy creates chemistry and sweat that enters through nose, eyes, and ears, but first the animal senses without those senses. Animals sense when an earthquake is about to come before it trembles because the energy of mother nature shifts at a high level of sensitivity.
Humans are obsessed with dog intelligence that resembles human intelligence, such as how many words a dog can learn or dogs doing tricks. This reveals nothing except human short-sightedness and unwillingness to think about other ways of communication and moving through the world. This relates to self-oriented versus pack-oriented approaches. Humanizing a dog is good for the human fantasy and emotional fulfillment but not good for the dog. The dog has to learn to live without the human and keep distance because dogs are pack-oriented. A cat only comes when it wants to come, so influence is not possible with someone who does not want to be with you.
A ranch setting allows assessment of dogs with other species like chickens to evaluate prey drive and how to block it, or play drive which can remain open. What makes a dog social is learning to accept others. The goal is a dog that accepts everybody, which results in zero lawsuits and zero liability. Dogs that charge other people often lack rules by limitations, do not walk, and are bored, confused, or frustrated, then release energy as predators by nature. Dogs should move forward in the right state of mind or when told to move forward, which is discipline.
People can become calmer regardless of natural anxiety levels. Animals will never choose or live an anxious life. Humans are the only species that follow unstable leaders. To be a pack leader in the animal world requires being the most patient, calm, confident, loving, and joyful at 100 percent. The job is to resolve problems. Anxiety, fear, and insecurities are brought back home and should not be. Before hitting the door coming home, do a check-in or prayer asking to be silence, calm, confident, love, and joy to the dog. Practice no touching, no talking, no eye contact, and help the dog calm down before giving affection. Give affection to patience, calmness, and open mind. When a dog misbehaves, redirect to the good state of mind. Good states of mind are patience, calm, surrender, or happy-go-lucky. Bad states of mind are fight, flight, or avoidance.
Many people feel devoid of real love and connection and enjoy that their dog is happy to see them. Dogs are animals first. The description of spirit, animal, species, breed, and name helps avoid humanizing animals, which makes them feel unsafe or confused. Both humanizing and dehumanizing animals are problematic. Dogs do not understand concepts like losing money from lawsuits.
Cesar explains that he made a deliberate decision to stop working on dogs and instead work with humans. The language used matters significantly because words shape behavior. Scientists may find the phrasing uncomfortable, but the distinction between working on versus working with reflects a fundamental approach to creating change.
The conversation highlights how Cesar uses simple, memorable phrases like "no look, no touch, no speak" and "exercise, discipline, then affection" to communicate concepts to people. However, the deeper goal is conveying the animal experience and spiritual experience rather than remaining at the human psychological level.
Many people express that they want to be loved by their pets and want their animals to feel loved. However, genuine love begins with safety and security. When a nurse described coming home to dogs that were soiling the house and her inability to avoid picking them up excitedly, the core issue was identified: her nurturing instinct was creating anxiety in the dogs rather than calm. The same person who helps humans be healthy was inadvertently helping her dogs be unhealthy because of the story she accepted in her head about guilt.
Cesar notes that dog ownership has become as common as having a phone in suburban neighborhoods, whereas when he was growing up, few people had dogs. While this expansion creates more opportunities for teaching about energy, philosophy, and actions, it also means many people lack proper understanding.
The goal is helping people develop trust, respect, and love—the most incredible relationship with a dog. A dog can make a person a better human, and once that relationship is practiced correctly, the same principles of connection, communication, and relationship can be applied to other humans.
Horse people prioritize safety over love. They teach children not to scream, touch, talk, or make eye contact with horses. The child learns to be quiet and calm and wait for the horse to give a signal. When walking a horse, the horse stays beside or behind the human, never in front. Feeding happens only after the horse has calmed down.
These three elements—meeting, walking, and feeding—are practiced with clear structure. Because horses are large, people naturally extend respect to them that they often fail to extend to dogs, even though dogs have the title of "man's best friend."
The problem is not a lack of love for dogs but rather a lack of honoring and respecting them for who they actually are. When people honor someone, they learn about how that being operates and love them for their actual nature rather than projecting what they want them to be.
Some listeners may misinterpret the discussion as advocating treating humans like pack animals—never letting anyone through a door first, for example. However, human-to-human dynamics differ from animal-to-human dynamics. Some principles transfer, but many do not.
Cesar shares an example from primate behavior: smiling or baring teeth at a macaque monkey signals aggression, whereas lip-smacking is an affiliative behavior. Even when people are told the correct behavior, they often continue projecting their own understanding.
A dog will feel safer, more secure, and happier if the human enters with no look, no touch, no speak. The human tendency to prioritize personal emotional experience over what the animal needs is described as incredibly selfish.
Andrew Huberman describes waiting until he had the finances and home before getting his dog Costello. After reading Cesar's book, he realized he had been projecting his own needs and terms onto the dog. The shift was recognizing that for the relationship to succeed, he needed to think about what the dog needed in the dog's language.
The human brain defaults to wanting to be loved and therefore engages in behaviors that actually harm the animal being called a "fur baby." People do not intend harm, but projecting human expectations damages the animal's sense of safety and security.
The instruction to give affection last is not about being "alpha" in a domineering sense. It is about respecting the animal by first establishing safety, peace, trust, and respect. Love is then directed toward those established qualities rather than being given indiscriminately.
Love is described as its own energy and identity. The proper sequence is creating a safe and peaceful place, then building trust and respect within the relationship. Once those foundations exist, love follows naturally and is directed at the right targets.
The rule exists because different positions in the pack respond differently to human contact:
- Touching a back-of-the-pack dog causes the dog to run away
- Eye contact with a front-of-the-pack dog signals a challenge or fight
- Talking to a middle-of-the-pack dog creates excitement
Practicing no touch, no talk, no eye contact allows the dog's nose, eyes, and ears to come to the human instead. This creates the law of attraction: the dog assesses whether the human can be trusted, respected, and experienced as a safe, peaceful source.
Once the dog determines these qualities exist, it will sit or relax beside the human. That moment is when love is appropriately given. Waiting follows the natural steps and demonstrates discipline on the human's part.
To be a good leader requires being a good follower first. This includes understanding the power of calm surrender and patience. Without these qualities, leadership becomes ineffective.
Being a pack leader is not automatic because one owns a dog. It requires the highest levels of patience, calmness, and confidence, plus knowing when to give love and when to celebrate. Love and joy represent celebration energy, while direction and protection represent leadership responsibilities.
Cesar extends the framework to political and national leadership, stating that people want leaders who create environments of safety and peace in their countries. Only after safety and peace exist can trust and respect develop, allowing love to follow. Humans are described as the only species that follows unstable leaders; other species reject unstable energy regardless of what is said.
Cesar suggests that leaders should be assessed by interacting with dogs so their energy can be evaluated. Humans respond to words and can be persuaded by rhetoric, but dogs respond only to what is felt and done. This explains why unstable leaders can gain human followers despite lacking the calm, confident energy that animals instinctively require.
Reference is made to the Netflix series Chimp Empire and an interview with Jane Goodall, who stated that dogs are her favorite species because they can be trusted. Chimpanzees, by contrast, exhibit lying, cheating, and extended punishment of ostracized group members—behaviors that reflect the primate brain. Humans were meant to move beyond such patterns.
Andrew describes setting intention before interacting with his dog Strummer, including a brief prayer at the door. He notes the temptation to immediately engage with affection when seeing the calm, sleepy bulldog, but recognizes that the dog has no concept of "cute." The projection of cuteness and desire to cuddle comes entirely from the human.
This approach became easier after previous experience with another dog, but remains more challenging for his girlfriend, who tends to be pulled into immediate affection. The dynamic is jokingly described as "caving to love," which can damage the safety and pack order that the dog actually needs.
The question is raised about why humans should think more like dogs while behaving in a way that sits somewhere in between. Cesar reports that 80% of his clients are women. In many American households he visits, the dog occupies the front of the pack, the wife is second, the children are third, and the husband is at the back.
This ordering occurs because affection is practiced primarily with the dog while rules, boundaries, and limitations are practiced with the husband. The woman demonstrates the capacity for leadership but applies it to the wrong household member. The dog ends up in front because affection is prioritized over structure.
The household dynamic reflects an agreement between partners. One person may surrender to avoid conflict, while the dog does not surrender and instead takes over the front position. The opposite extreme—domineering behavior that forces the other person into fight-flight or surrender—is equally undesirable.
Cesar describes shifting from a "happy wife, happy life" approach that led him to surrender constantly, to instead becoming confident in his masculine energy of direction and protection. He now attracts a partner who can be calm in that dynamic. Instinctually, this masculine energy could not be suppressed, though spiritually and emotionally the partners are equals.
Andrew shares a friend's observation about choosing partners: some people want someone who gives instructions and structure, while others want someone who leaves them alone or keeps them in line when their childlike tendencies would undermine household stability. The conversation acknowledges that these instinctual dynamics are fundamental to the human spirit but lack clear, non-loaded language that avoids connotations of dominance, hierarchy, control, or subservience.
Cesar explains that while people can love God, love, and develop intelligence at the same level, instincts represent the area where his confidence leads the pack. This is what he does with dogs—he walks a pack of dogs where they all enter a calm surrender state. He wanted the same dynamic in his house because he wants his partner to feel safe, peace, trust, respect, and love about him. To earn this position, he must embody high levels of patience, calmness, confidence, and love.
Cesar states that instinctual connection is permanent, not temporary. He commits to being a peaceful, safe, trustworthy, respectful, loving, and smart man who works on having good energy, following good philosophy, and taking good actions. He wants to earn the position rather than simply claim it.
Cesar realized he was picking the wrong women. He notes the contrast: he can pick the perfect dog for someone, but struggled to pick the right woman for himself. The issue was having the wrong philosophy about what a man should do or what a woman should do. Once he changed his philosophy, he became clear about seeking a woman with the right spirit, instinct, heart, and mind.
Cesar's current partner is a pack leader outside the house—she owns three restaurants and earned her money independently. However, she came to him wanting to give calm surrender. She knew she wanted that role. When running her business, she must be a pack leader and gets tired of giving direction and protection 24/7. At home, she wanted someone to provide safe peace, trust, respect, and calm surrender. She needed to connect to her instincts and become surrendered to the right man.
Cesar emphasizes that machismo is not earning the position—you are simply claiming it because you are a man. A good pack leader earns the position through self-knowledge, self-value, and self-love. He did his own rehabilitation because his grandparents and father taught him well about animals but not about women—they said you make money and get whatever you want. This was incomplete information.
The interviewer shares that their parents split because of a power struggle about roles. The father is from a Latin country and the mother is not. Both parents have now been remarried happily for a very long time to their new partners, described as their perfect fit. The interviewer notes that society can be destroyed by getting men and women to hate each other, and there is currently a lot of distrust. People fight, flight, and avoid each other even when they say they love each other, yet the instinct to desire each other remains.
Happy couples seem to work because they are being themselves. Cesar states he does not want fight or flight avoidance at home. Everyone wants the same things in relationships whether with humans or dogs: safe peace, love, trust, respect, body, mind, heart, exercise, discipline, affection, follow, play, explore.
Cesar notes that the interviewer exudes tangible happiness. Cesar was already happy achieving his goal of becoming the best dog trainer in the world and becoming the dog whisperer, which meant training humans rather than dogs. However, he could not have a good relationship with a woman, experiencing fight or flight avoidance instead of calm, confident, happy-go-lucky surrender. His partner can give direction and protection when he is wrong, but there is no need when he is not, making him consistent in his role. He maintains his peace, patience, calmness, confidence, and love every single day, even when he does not feel good internally.
The interviewer shares the deep desire to not have fight or flight at home or from a dog, noting how scary that is. Cesar describes his home growing up as very machismo—his parents are still married, but it was this way or that was it. His mother was not allowed to do her own self, which was unhealthy for a woman's dream. His father disciplined with anger and his mother disciplined with guilt. When Cesar came to America, he saw a completely different way of looking at things—you can work on your energy, philosophy, and actions.
Cesar had an incredible relationship with dogs and with God, who allowed him to become what he dreamed about. He came to a different country, learned a different language, and went all over the world. In the beginning when he jumped the border, it was all spiritual, instinctual, and passionate—the mind was not doing it. His spirit, instinct, and heart were following the dream and adapting.
Cesar saw great things in America, including that you can be yourself. This aligns with stoic philosophy. Actions include walking with shoulders up, head high, breathing, and walking—body language that exudes what you are thinking and feeling. Because he is with dogs all day, he keeps that energy 24/7.
The interviewer notes that when people try to be pack leaders by putting shoulders back and walking, it does not work, especially with a bulldog mastiff. Dogs feel frustration and pull back. The interviewer uses a little stern command occasionally to keep its potency, using it no more than three times on a walk or it loses effectiveness. This command is as much a reminder to the human as to the dog.
The interviewer asks how to remedy when a dog is respectful and obeys boundaries with one person but acts out with others. When walking together, the dog does whatever the interviewer decides, but sometimes tests the girlfriend more. Cesar explains that women have to realize how much they are in their emotions and how much they think about things. Women go into emotional vibration and begin having an intellectual conversation. The dog knows that human is only using half of who they are—the heart and the mind.
Cesar states it is very important for women to remember that spirit is powerful. They should practice silence, and instinct is powerful—they should practice calm instant breath. You are calm inside and want to go from point A to point B, very simple and practical. You are not negotiating, looking at anything else, or distracted. You are just going for the task, and the dog follows that silence, calmness, and confidence. When the human does not use that vibration, the dog has an option to get distracted.
The same woman can ride a horse and must be quiet and confident to do so. The interviewer shares a story about a first girlfriend who had horses at home. Her father came from Greece as a taxi driver and gave his daughters this life. She was a very quiet, artistic person, but with her horse—a wild one that was gelded late and dangerous—a totally different side came out. She had immense power and calm confidence. The interviewer realized he could not do that and had to learn to be around the horse.
Cesar emphasizes going back to the human before the gender. A man and a woman can ride a horse because they are using the same energy, philosophy, and actions. It is not because of being a man or woman—it is because they are using the same energy. It is a human thing, not a gender thing. Cesar invites female clients to not forget they also have calm confidence inside that their dog needs and craves, especially because most cases involve dogs in a fight state and aggression.
To lead the pack, you must use calm confidence and love the pack with love and joy. This requires tapping into what people call masculine energy. A woman can ride a horse because she has to be in this energy to do it. She is not changing herself—she is using everything about herself. A man can use the feminine side, which is love and joy, while masculine is calm confidence. Silence is for everybody—it is patience. Silence comes before calm confidence or love joy. It has nothing to do with women or men.
If divided by gender, the idea that a woman has to be emotional because she is a woman is incorrect. You can be emotional at the right time, just like a man. Nobody is saying not to be loving. The question is how to use energy for good—rewarding good behavior on humans and dogs with the energy of love. Love does not change bad energy; confidence changes bad energy. If the energy of love could change bad, there would be no bad men in the world because moms normally give love.
Cesar states that society is broken and humans are broken, and this is done purposely. If we get the wrong information, there will be no connection, communication, or relationship. When we unite, the pack unites and becomes powerful. If the pack is separated, the pack fights, flights, and avoids each other. Cesar's goal is to give people the right information. Regardless of economic position—low money, middle class, or rich—everyone should know the same thing about dogs, God, and earth.
In that world, all humans regardless of economic position would have amazing relationships with dogs because they all have the same information. Cesar loves that people are drifting further from themselves as a species. Looking at interactions with dogs and practicing getting outside ourselves and tapping into other aspects like calm confidence when we just want to be loving is really about wanting to be loved. The person coming home translates the dog's need for calm confidence as the dog needing to adore them.
The process of raising the dog involved reading Cesar's book. To get what you want means building the relationship means not doing the thing in the moment—you are thinking about the whole relationship. Safety first. It is counterintuitive: going against self in the moment to create a picture where you get so much more and everybody wins, including the dogs. This requires self-discipline, awareness, calmness, and breathing.
Cesar's practice for cultivating awareness is realizing what life is about. Life is about being happy, healthy, loving, and smart. Then there is time—how you structure and manage time. Then there are memories—that is all you take. Once you realize these three things, you can focus and experience life the way animals do. Animals are grateful for life, structure time wisely, and only take good memories when they die. The quicker we surrender to that concept, the quicker we focus on what is valuable.
Practice being grateful of life every day and thankful of life every day. Learn with your mind to learn to achieve, then give it away. It is important to be at service and make other humans or animals achieve what you just achieved. Love those three things about yourself—your spirit, instinct, and mind. Learn to love that about yourself because that is who you are. Cesar is a spirit, an instinct, a heart, and a mind. Once you value that, it is easy to love what you value. Once you realize this natural, simple, profound self, you want to give it away.
Cesar gives it away to dogs and gets to rehabilitate dogs that people have unconsciously confused. Dogs in other countries are skinny but do not have psychological problems. Dogs in America are chunky and Cesar gets to have a TV show. Dogs in America should be the happiest, healthiest, loving, smartest dogs on earth because they have rights. But a guy from Mexico comes to America and National Geographic gives him a TV show because America was created with fight-flight-avoidance unconsciously. Even though America loves dogs more than any other country—dogs have birthday parties, Christmas presents, and get married in America—this shows human creativity, but having money, fame, and power does not make the dog happy.
Cesar's goal is for people to understand that happiness, health, having a good heart, and having a good creative mind should not involve thinking too much. It is about being grateful, being thankful, loving those two things, and making sure your mind learns, achieves, gives it away, or learns to turn it off. Do not use your mind to think bad things. The easiest way for people to experience a clear mind is through the cold plunge. Once they go through fight-flight-avoidance and get to calm surrender, they are thinking nothing. Through the cold plunge experience, the human understands breath, patience, confidence, and not thinking anything because you are doing this with your spirit, instinct, and heart.
The mind must simply wait without anticipation for three minutes. The only action available is to breathe and wait. This creates the direct experience of having nothing in the mind rather than being told about it conceptually.
Deliberate cold exposure reliably releases adrenaline and wakes up the brain. The forebrain, which handles strategy, gets shut down. In the first 20 or 30 seconds of cold exposure, the prefrontal cortex that controls top-down inhibition of impulse is greatly diminished. People cannot strategize well and must move past trying to suppress impulse to instead experience the adrenaline directly. This leads to a state of peace.
A human who completes a cold plunge brings that energy everywhere without needing to speak. The energy itself feels good to others. This energy comes from mother nature through cold water. The goal is to bring this state of silence, calmness, confidence, love, and joy to meeting a dog, walking with a dog, or feeding a dog.
The three states to cultivate are calm surrender, calm confidence, and happy-go-lucky energy. These three states of mind are super powerful. Deliberate cold exposure produces adrenaline and norepinephrine, followed by a long arc of dopamine that lasts hours afterward. This long-lasting dopamine occurs in both brain and body.
A good relationship with a dog provides long-lasting dopamine. A well-balanced dog delivers sustained positive effects. Walking with a dog for a long period activates the four worlds: spirit, instinct, heart, and mind. The amount of peace derived from a relationship with a dog like Costello continues even after the dog has passed, felt through spirit and love rather than sadness.
When Costello reached 11 years old and suffered a spinal stroke that left him unable to walk, the decision was made to provide a peaceful exit at home rather than at the vet. The contract of being a good dog owner includes owing the dog a peaceful exit. Honoring death as a real thing is important. The final two weeks involved a struggle between the desire to keep the relationship going and the realization that prolonging it was selfish.
Dogs communicate when it is time to go through many signs. The approach is to create a celebration rather than a sad ritual. Bring dogs to their favorite place and emphasize happiness. If crying occurs, do it away from the dog. Belief in God helps frame the transition as going back to the source. When the time comes, everyone should be happy, dancing, and celebrating as a ritual.
Dedication means walking the pack seven days a week regardless of personal feelings. Honor and respect are shown through this consistent action. There should be no day when a dog was wronged. When dogs pass, the framing is that they are going back to God. Spirit never dies, and this opens the opportunity to help another soul.
When a dog passes, the last 24 hours should be a celebration involving singing, laughing, and dancing. Starting to cry causes the dog to worry and makes the spirit linger. The goal is for the dog to give direction and protection after passing. Earth is a beautiful but temporary home.
Using a dog for emotional support during personal loss, breakup, or sadness passes that energy to the dog. The dog absorbs the energy without knowing what happened. After this occurs, take the dog to the beach or another location to let go of the energy. Therapy dogs that visit hospitals absorb negative energy and need a way to release it afterward. Cold exposure before interacting with a dog can neutralize bad energy so only good energy is given to family and home.
Bosses who walk through workplaces while stressed create trickle-down anxiety for employees. Humans can be selfish by viewing dogs as existing only to provide love, console sadness, and fulfill human wants without regard for the animal's basic needs. The principle is to be at service before expecting to be served. Spirit and instinct focus on being at service, while love and mind focus on being served.
Humans consist of four aspects: spirit, instinct, heart, and mind. Spirit never brings bad energy to the heart, and instinct never brings bad energy to the mind. The focus should be on giving patience, calmness, confidence, and love before hugging a dog. Bad energy is like stepping in poop and must be removed before entering the house, otherwise it spreads to plants, dogs, and family members.
Contradictory advice exists around hugging dogs, picking them up, or allowing them in beds. The critical factor is not the action itself but the energy and state of mind behind it. If a dog is in a flight state and gets picked up, the dog may feel trapped and react by biting, peeing, or screaming. Nothing is inherently wrong with these actions if the dog is in a calm surrender state.
When a dog enters a bed on its own, this is invading. When a dog waits and is then invited onto the bed and told where to go, this is being invited, which creates a surrendered state rather than a territorial one. Dogs can sense when human energy drops and will take over. When human energy rises, dogs move away. Energy must be bigger than the dog's to create follow-through.
With animals, perfect energy must be brought because they cannot be lied to. Humans possess patience, calmness, confidence, love, and joy. The choice is whether to move from the back of the pack to the front. Walking dogs in nature functions like a gym for developing these states. The practice is to maintain silence, calmness, confidence, love, and joy for 30 to 40 minutes, return home, greet the dog without touching or talking initially, then do another walk followed by play and exploration.
A dog should be viewed as a gym rather than a fur baby. Before getting dogs, especially demanding breeds like huskies that require hours of migration walking daily, fostering first allows the family to understand their own habits, rules, boundaries, limitations, and follow-through capacity. Two puppies create significant challenges around hormones, potential fighting if not spayed or neutered, and the need for extensive daily exercise.
In America, spaying and neutering is considered necessary because dogs spend significant time indoors without mating opportunities. An intact dog that does not receive enough walking and challenge can develop frustration that manifests as humping behavior toward owners or furniture.
Costello once tried to hump Cesar, and Cesar made it very clear that behavior was not acceptable. He used isolation by putting the dog back in his crate and leaving, then returning. Cesar sent a clear mental and energetic message that the behavior would never happen again, delivered in a very stern manner. The correction has to be clear on day one.
Many people instead say "no, no, no" in a way that celebrates or engages with the behavior, which increases the dog's arousal toward humans. Mounting is both sexual and dominance behavior directed at the human.
In America, dogs need to be neutered more often due to overpopulation. Millions of dogs die every year because of this problem, and taxpayers ultimately pay for the killing of dogs. Neutering is the only practical way to regulate the population.
Cesar states that when petting a dog, the energy behind the action matters more than the specific motion. He recommends rubbing rather than slow petting. The technique should match the activity: pet hard and fast during agility work when the dog needs to stay excited, but use calm petting when the goal is a relaxed state such as in a restaurant. It is not about the speed itself but about what mental state you want the dog to experience.
When a puppy barks, the instinct is often to shout "no," but yelling back at a vocalizing dog only reinforces the behavior. Instead, simply walk away and return only when the dog is quiet. The dog quickly learns that nobody wants to be around a barking dog.
Costello would bark only once when he sensed a real threat. His barks were deep and powerful, like a bass drum, but he never barked continuously.
Many dogs bark because it earns them attention and feedback from their owners. Barking can also become the dog's only method of draining excess energy when it does not receive adequate physical and mental exercise.
Destructive behavior such as chewing furniture occurs because the dog is not using its body and mind enough and must find some way to release pent-up energy. Dogs should not be expected to destroy their own sleeping area, yet they do when their energy has no proper outlet.
Dogs are daytime animals. As soon as the sun comes up, they naturally want to walk. Even if a dog sleeps until 10 a.m., it should still be taken out because it is easier and drains energy more effectively when the dog is still in a lower-energy state.
Animals follow a natural sequence of five body motions: stretch upon waking, walk, run, rest, and sleep. When owners skip the walk or run and then expect the dog to wait calmly, the dog cannot enter a true resting state because its body and mind have not been properly drained.
The walk is the only activity that produces calm surrender. Play and exploration create excited energy, while the walk creates the calm state needed for the dog to wait peacefully.
In the beginning, use the same walking path to build trust with the environment. Once the dog knows the route well, change it to prevent boredom. Even small variations work: walking in a different direction, placing food on the ground and teaching the dog to ignore it, or creating other environmental challenges. These exercises turn the house and neighborhood into a personal dog psychology center that keeps the dog's mind engaged and growing.
Dogs learn patterns very quickly. Once a pattern is mastered, there is no growth, which leads to frustration, boredom, or confusion.
Cesar trains his dog Strummer on the treadmill using intermittent reinforcement. The dog now jumps on willingly. The treadmill is especially useful in California during rain or fires when outdoor walks are not possible. It provides an emergency outlet for energy and a way to challenge both body and mind.
Cesar first saw a dog on a treadmill as a child watching The Jetsons. When he arrived in America, he noticed many unused treadmills in garages and began using them with dogs. He emphasizes that the treadmill is not a substitute for walking; it is only for emergencies and additional challenges.
After a walk, if the dog still has excess energy, Cesar puts him on the treadmill at an incline, brings him to threshold, and then stops. The dog now sees the treadmill as something he wants to do.
People often want only to be a "dog lover" or the "mom" or "dad" of the dog. Cesar encourages owners to also become coaches—religious, spiritual, or intellectual coaches. There are four worlds to engage with: emotional, spiritual, instinctual, and intellectual. Loving a dog is easy; challenging the dog across all four areas requires creativity.
A great relationship with a dog means the dog does great work, which reflects the owner's energy, philosophy, and actions. Working out with the dog is also working out with yourself in a natural, simple, profound way.
Off-leash reliability is the ultimate goal and something owners should earn rather than pay a trainer to achieve. Earning off-leash behavior builds trust, respect, and love. It requires using spirit, instinct, heart, and mind every day.
Dogs keep humans on track toward living a natural, simple, profound life. When life becomes difficult, returning to that natural state is the solution.
Obeying the spirit and instincts of both humans and dogs first causes all other rules (bed versus no bed, petting versus no petting) to fall into place naturally. This alignment is a moment-to-moment, daily practice rather than a static feeling of mutual love.
Simply loving a dog without structure can become self-serving and even abusive to the animal because it ignores the dog's deeper needs.
Cesar's core philosophy is that he trains humans and rehabilitates dogs. Learning how to be with a dog is learning how to be in life. Being a good pack member means knowing your position and contributing good energy, good philosophy, and good actions regardless of whether you are in the front, middle, or back of the pack.
The leader must be the fittest—not only physically but also spiritually, instinctually, emotionally, and mentally—so they can care for all four energies of the pack.
Having a great relationship with a dog makes a person a better human. When the world is led by good humans, everyone benefits.
Andrew Huberman expresses deep gratitude for Cesar's wisdom and tangible energy. He notes that Cesar brings together timeless principles in practical ways that help people care for both their dogs and themselves while becoming better humans overall.
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