A Masterclass in Changing Your Limiting Beliefs - Nir Eyal
In a Nutshell
Nir Eyal explains that beliefs act as perceptual filters shaping reality, emotions, and actions more than facts, with placebos, prayer rituals, and nocebos proving their power—even without faith or deception—to boost pain tolerance, persistence, and health. Limiting beliefs like "I'm not a morning person" or imposter syndrome create self-fulfilling limits; change them via Byron Katie's turnaround questions, experimental trials, Pain Reprocessing Therapy, scheduled worry time, and secular prayer for gratitude and agency. Success stems from engineering liberating beliefs to expand your "window of potential," persist through failures (e.g., Kurt Richter rat study), spot opportunities, and break fear-pain loops in chronic issues like insomnia or back pain.
These notes were generated by AI and may contain inaccuracies.
Nir Eyal returns to the show since 2019 episode 104. Discussion credits foundational success to previous work like Indistractable. New book Beyond Belief focuses on beliefs as the lens through which we see the world. Beliefs shape what we see literally, what we feel, and what we do. Everything comes upstream from beliefs, so they must be gotten right.
Showing the same image to two people with different backgrounds and priors results in seeing completely different things: one sees circles, another rectangles. Beliefs shape reality perceived, not just figuratively.
Belief topic contrasts with productivity frameworks. Much The Secret-style manifestation is bullshit, but some works—not due to quantum vibrations or universe caring. Positive thinking can have negative effects if done improperly. Research over six years separates what works. Nir's books cite peer-reviewed studies; even some academic studies are methodologically weak.
Placebos effective even without deception. Ted Kaptchuk at Harvard showed IBS patients placebo pills labeled 'placebos' performed as well as leading medication. Patients requested refills, joking about 'right brand' for gut microbiome. Branded ibuprofen more effective than generic despite identical substance due to expectation effect (David Robson).
Sickness is physical malady; illness is psychological perception of symptoms. Placebos ineffective for sickness, effective for illness. Applies to pharmaceuticals, rituals. Nir started praying: research shows prayer linked to longer life, better health, lower depression/anxiety—even without faith.
30% of Americans identify as 'none' (largest religious group). 'Spiritual but not religious' have highest anxiety/depression rates, worse than agnostics or religious. Benefits from prayer/rituals obtainable without supernatural faith, as placebo-like tools addressing loneliness epidemic.
Lab study: religious/spiritual group, non-spiritual taught to pray, control group. Pain tolerance test (hand in ice water): both praying groups (faith-based and taught) lasted longer than control. Taught group substituted words like 'universe' or 'mother nature'.
Nir consulted rabbi, imam, priest, monk, swami: all pray to have no doubts about God. Adopted practices usable by anyone. Now prays in places of worship for refocus, gratitude, community—regardless of belief.
Japanese are religious but not spiritual: perform Shinto/Buddhist rituals without supernatural faith, gaining psychological benefits.
Everyone already delusional: brain processes 11 million bits/second but conscious mind only 50 bits (~0.0004%). Uses predictive processing based on priors/beliefs, seeing expected reality, not actual.
Limiting beliefs (e.g., 'I'm not a morning person', 'too old/young/fat/thin', 'no time') sap motivation. Facts: objective truths (Earth spherical). Faith: convictions without evidence. Beliefs: convictions open to revision by evidence—chooseable tools, not immutable truths.
Personal/interpersonal/political problems from treating beliefs as facts. Life decisions (move, job, date) based on beliefs. Can't see own limiting beliefs (like own face) without 'mirror' of observation. Identify recurring stuck areas (e.g., failed resolutions, chronic pain overcome via beliefs, hypnosedation for surgery without anesthesia).
Beliefs from past evidence/experiences, but not laws of nature. Avoid 'I'm the kind of person who...' labels. We see beliefs about others, not them truly (e.g., nice to strangers, rude to family).
Traditional motivation (incentives) incomplete. Motivation triangle: behavior + benefit + belief (in outcome/boss/self to perform). Persistence requires belief; most lack self-belief. Productivity systems ignore this root layer.
Try liberating beliefs—they sound ridiculous initially as limiting beliefs feel comforting. Personal example: For mom's 74th birthday in central Florida while in Singapore, stayed up till 1 AM calling florists for special flowers.
Nir ordered flowers for his mom's birthday, spending time late at night (until 1am) ensuring good reviews, timely delivery despite Florida heat, so they wouldn't shrivel. He patted himself on the back, feeling like a good son. Next morning, he called: "Hey, happy birthday. Did you get the flowers?" She replied, "Yes, thank you very much. I got the flowers, but you should know that they were half dead and you really shouldn't order from them anymore." He blurted out, "Sorry. That's the last time I ever bought you flowers." It went over poorly.
His wife suggested a turnaround. He resisted, wanting to vent about his mom's judgmentalism, but research shows venting cements beliefs about people and makes them more vivid—it doesn't work, despite conventional advice to blow off steam.
He used The Work by Byron Katie: four questions.
- What is the belief? "My mother is too judgmental and hard to please."
- Is it true? Yes, obviously.
- Is it absolutely true? (No other explanation?) Maybe not.
- Who am I with this belief? A jerk—judgmental, short-tempered, embarrassed, not myself.
- Who would I be without this belief? Much happier, less judgmental, more myself.
Turn belief around: Could the opposite be true?
- Mom not judgmental: Maybe saving him money, protecting from scam.
- I am too judgmental and hard to please: He scripted her exact effusive response; when unmet, he lost it.
- I am too judgmental toward myself: Flowers not perfect meant he messed up, statement on his competency.
Original belief left one option: She must change for him to be happy (impossible). New beliefs gave options. He tried them as experiments for a week: Lifted weight, became more patient, nicer to mom, more himself. Change beliefs by trying new ones experimentally, building agency in small steps. Can keep or discard later.
Rumination on past avoids present tasks, becomes a pacifier/escape. Practical solution: Schedule worry time in calendar. Write down worries. 9/10 times, when time comes, worry seems insignificant, crushed by other priorities.
Addiction to venting/rumination feels satisfying, like checking a strained muscle. Persistence key to success.
Successful people fail more, not less—more shots on goal. Unsuccessful fail less. Billionaires persist through failures.
Wild rats swim 15 minutes in water cylinder before drowning. Rescue one just before giving up, dry off, return: Swam 60 hours (240x longer). Nothing physical changed—belief in possible salvation unlocked persistence. Limit not 15 minutes; most quit too soon at discomfort.
Quitting not wrong, but quitting too soon destroys human capital. Pain is signal (11M vs 50 bits info)—disconnect pain from suffering/interpretation.
- Not when failing (if learning, continue).
- Checkpoint: Endure fixed time (e.g., 30 days exercise/writing/YouTube). Not deadline—prevents quitting at discomfort. At checkpoint, ask: Would I start this today?
- Still learning from failures?
- Does persistence make a difference? (No for toxic job; yes for fitness plateaus.)
Luck not chance—engineerable post-birth (birth in industrialized democracy = genetic lottery, per Warren Buffett). No inherently lucky people.
Successful entrepreneurs have entrepreneurial alertness—see opportunities (100-dollar bills on floor).
Optimists (11 sec) vs pessimists (2.5 min) count photos. Page 2: "There are 48 photos." Mid-paper: "There are 48 photos, collect prize." Optimists saw, claimed prize; pessimists missed obvious opportunity.
We see what we believe (not just believe what we see).
- Dieters see food larger.
- Fear of heights: distances farther.
- Coffer illusion: Squares vs circles based on upbringing (urban sharp edges; Sub-Saharan Africa organic shapes).
Negativity bias: World improving (best time ever), but most say worse (wars/crime). Professors scored worse than chance on Factfulness exam (Hans Rosling) re: education/environment/empowerment/democracy.
If seeking negativity, tune into confirming media (if it bleeds, it leads).
Women given huge fake facial scar for discrimination study, then "touch-up" secretly removed it. They still reported stares/disgust/avoidance—expected it, so saw it (nonexistent scar). We create simulations, disregard reality.
Practice alternative beliefs (especially "crazy" ones—belief immune system resists). Disagreement not rude in all cultures.
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In many cultures, disagreement is seen as rude. Challenging someone's feelings creates discomfort. Changing perspective leads to being called a flip-flopper. Changing someone's mind is the ultimate gift: "I was lying to myself about reality, about myself, about my relationship, and now you've helped me see the world more clearly. What better gift could there possibly be?" Losing beliefs feels like destruction to the ego.
Beliefs that create success now can limit later. Beliefs once effective now hold back due to blind spots in updating them over time.
Nocebos (Latin: "I will hurt") are contagious, unlike placebos ("I will heal"). Example: Portugal epidemic where young girls filled ERs with intestinal discomfort, mistaken for virus or water contamination. Caused by popular TV show Strawberries and Cream where protagonist had similar symptoms, creating mass nocebo effect. Repeated worldwide with psychosomatic outbreaks.
Mr. A story: After breakup, swallowed entire bottle of pills from depression clinical trial, then regretted and rushed to ER. Showed overdose symptoms: low blood pressure, plummeting heart rate. Pills were placebos. Told this, revived in 15 minutes, fully normal. Shows physiological effects from beliefs alone.
Implications: Labels become limits. Social media prescribes maladies without basis. Imposter syndrome not in DSM, not diagnosable, but self-fulfilling. Labels like "I'm not a morning person," "senior moment," "no good at public speaking" create identity limits.
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Rat swimming experiment: Belief in rescue extended swim time. Erroneous positive belief lifted ceiling. Beliefs spiral up (better outcomes) or down (e.g., sugar pills causing heart attack perception).
Psychosomatic issues: imposter syndrome, public speaking anxiety, erectile dysfunction (ED), insomnia, depression, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, IBS responsive to nocebo/placebo.
Downward spiral intervention needed.
From chronic pain research. Applies to extreme cases (debilitating pain) and milder (ED, insomnia, anxiety).
Key distinction: Pain (real signal in brain—all pain is in brain) vs. suffering. Pain ≠ damage.
Sickness (body) vs. illness (mind). Can be sick without illness (e.g., undiagnosed cancer, no symptoms) or ill without sickness (80% healthcare expenses from symptom perception).
Chronic pain: >6 months, no known physical cause (after ruling out physical issues, e.g., no wood in leg).
WWI tangent: Soldiers unaware of missing arm due to focus on buddy (11M bits input vs. 50 bits conscious).
Neuroplastic pain: No physical cause. Break fear-pain-fear loop at center of chronic conditions (fibromyalgia, ED, insomnia, anxiety).
Pain real, not fake/in your head. Brain turns pain dial up/down based on attention/threat.
Hypnosedation example: Daniel Gissler (ex-commodities trader) underwent surgery (bolts wrenched from bone, scalpel cuts) for 55 minutes, no anesthesia, stable vitals, no pain/suffering via focused mind.
Nir's back pain: Conventional thought "pain = damage/harm" led to spirals ("How long? Permanent? Future ruined?"). Fear caused physiological responses (sweating, dry mouth, palpitating), amplifying pain.
PRT Steps
- Confirm body not broken (after tests rule out physical causes). Pain = information, not danger.
- Stop trying to fix pain urgently. Humans historically tuned out discomfort (e.g., French kings with decay/syphilis). Modern expectation of instant relief hyper-fixates.
- Prove safety: Remind "this isn't danger, just signal." Add lightness/humor: "I see what you're doing, pain response—not this time."
Nir's method (after ruling out damage from gym injury): Intentionally trigger pain 10x each time (e.g., movements causing twinge). Retrain brain: "I'm safe, pain is signal."
Nir's insomnia: Tried pills, everything. Realized beliefs become biology. Mantra at 2 a.m. rumination ("Awful day tomorrow"): Deep breath in/out—"The body gets what the body needs if you let it." Addresses #1 insomnia cause: worrying about insomnia.
Gives body time to rest or not (e.g., read boring Kindle book to scramble rumination). Works 99%.
Common: Nighttime bathroom wakes (prostate fear)—if checked, just belief.
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Beliefs shape: vision of reality, internal feelings (pain, surgery), actions (what you do based on possible).
Nocebos reduce agency ("impossible"). Positive beliefs enable more.
David Feigenbaum story: Incurable disease, worse mortality than cancer. Found world expert: no further treatments/research. Rejected "Santa Claus theory" (someone saves me). Researched, found shelved approved medication—saved his life. Now runs AI foundation saving thousands.
Shows more agency than thought (vs. "good patient" follows doctor).
Internal locus of control (you affect change) vs. external (outside forces control). Internal: longer life, more friends, community contribution, happier, fewer mental health issues—even when cards stacked against. Exception: For others, external locus (grace: uncontrollable circumstances) healthier.
Opposite of 50-year belief in learned helplessness (Seligman/Meyer dog studies). Recent reversal: Default is helplessness (hope must be learned).
Evolutionary: Babies defenseless (no claws/teeth/run), need passivity for care. Freeze response = passivity/safety.
Tribal stability may discourage radical agency.
Hope circuit in brain: Learned via tiny steps of what's possible.
Mesmerism wand: 1800s wood/metal wand with wires/electricity box waved over patients for pain. Gradually removed elements (unplugged, no box, no metal/wood)—just hand wave worked same.
Serena Williams at Wimbledon: Struggling, low confidence, limiting belief "I suck at net." Coach lied: "Stats show you win 80% rushing net—stats don't lie." (Fabrication.) She believed, rushed net, turned match around.
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Tells her this says can't lie with the stats. She then goes on to start rushing the net, and turns out wins Wimbledon. So he likes to say he has this query says, you see, sometimes the lies can become reality. Beliefs are tools, not truths. Is it true that she wasn't good at rushing the net? Kinda sorta not really. Is it a fact? No, it's a belief. Is it true that she's good at rushing the net scoring points? Kinda sorta? It's a belief, right? Neither are facts, either our laws of physics. Based on what you believe, you can turn that belief into reality, not in a metaphysical way. There's no quantum whatever. It's all about motivation. It's all about what those behaviors get us to actually do.
It feels like a lot of what one of the big mechanisms for humans here is potential, and understanding how much of our total capacity we're currently tapping into or not. 'I am not a morning person,' my potential for getting up in the morning is limited. Well, yeah, there's circadian rhythms and there tend to be set points. Some people are morning larks and some people are night owls. But your potential to do this is largely determined. This is a good way to think about it. There is a window. This window is determined by physical reality. It's determined by how much training you've done. It's determined by how fit you are. It's determined by your reaction time or your height or your genetics. This is the window. This is not within your beliefs control. Within this window is almost exclusively within your beliefs control. That two step model of potential and how it works really explains. People get it confused. They think that their window is way narrower than it actually is and way lower than it actually is. What they don't realize is they're just looking at a little microcosm sliver of what is a much wider window. And there is probably a lot more upside that's available to them.
Mortimer Gossley's Nocebo Snake Story
What was that story about the dude with the snake? What was that one? Was he in Australia or New Zealand? Oh, Mortimer? Yeah, that's a good one. Did I put that in the book? I don't think that made it into... No, no, no, no. But I've heard you talk about it and I think that it makes a lot of sense here too. Yeah. Oh, it's a good one actually. Now that I think about it, back to the talk about nocebos. That's a good one. Yeah. So this guy is a pain researcher. Mortimer, I think his last name is Gossley. I can't remember. Australian guy. He goes to the outback. He's on a camping trip and he gets bitten by one of the most deadly snakes in the outback. There's all kinds of venomous snakes. He gets bit by one of them, rushed to the hospital, barely survives. He's in days and days of excruciating pain. I think they had to put him in a coma. It was incredibly traumatic. Months later, I think it was like six months until he got the courage to go back to the outback and go camping again. He's on a hiking trail and he decides to go by the river and he wants to go in the water or something. And all of a sudden, he feels something nip at his heel where he got bitten the time six months before. He collapses onto the ground. He passes out. It turns out it was nothing more than a twig that scratched him. But he had this expectation. Again, his body was in a coma. His body had this belief about what that means. And then he produced this nocebo response not because of choice. He wasn't a bad person. He didn't lack willpower. He didn't will it on himself. But he had been trained based on priors to have this hyper vigilant response. And so that's exactly what's going on with many of these other conditions as well.
What is your guide for secular rational prayer? Placebo prayer? Placebo prayer. Take me through the protocol for placebo prayer. Yeah. So I think you have to find what works for you. And what worked for me was engaging in some kind of regular practice. And what I was particularly curious about is what to pray for. Because I didn't want to ask for stuff. I don't believe in some kind of cosmic slot machine that Santa Claus is going to give me this, give me money, give me health, give me wisdom, give me all that stuff. But what I was asking for was not even for life to get easier. I was looking for ways to get stronger, to reinforce the tenets, the attributes that I want to cultivate myself. So patience, tolerance, gratitude. That's what I pray for. I pray to be cognizant of how incredibly lucky I am to live on this tiny marble dot in the universe. And that's swimming around in a vacuum of space, that we live in this time and place to even have this conversation with conscious awareness. You're in Austin, I'm in Spain, and we're talking over the internet right now. Like how amazing is this future? Or is this what I would have thought would have been a science fiction future, and today we're actually living it. So to be consciously gracious and humble about that, that's something I try to remind myself through a practice of prayer.
And it turns out that doing that on your own has benefits, of course. It's also a form of problem solving. So many times when I pray, it's a little bit different from meditation. So when I used to meditate, I used to meditate quite a bit, and I don't really meditate as much anymore. It's not that I'm anti, I think it has all kinds of benefits, but the role of meditation, at least the kind of meditation I would practice, was being aware of your thoughts and then letting your thoughts go. That's not what I do anymore. Again, not that it's bad. I think it helps lots of people. There's a lot of great research about how wonderful it is. I've kind of moved on to a point now where now prayer almost becomes a form of problem solving. A way where by just thinking, by just letting my mind think about the problem in a specific time and place – not in between tasks, not for a minute here, a minute there, but just to contemplate. Sometimes I even do it through writing. You know, that can be a form of prayer for me.
No one has ever said to me … that problem solving of … religious people who even have a faith through prayer … tradition, when they have that conversation with God, many times, it can open up those opportunities for them to make change their life, that if they had not made that time to have that conversation with their maker that they wouldn't have found those opportunities.
Now, when you layer on top of that a community. That's amazing. This is what the Catholic priest said to me, he said, you know, people come to mass, and they come with all kinds of requests, they say, you know, God, please help my daughter help my business, help me heal, help me this. What they don't realize is that many times, the way God answers these prayers is with the people next to you, that when you're in church with people in the pew, who could help you with the business could help you with your health could help you with that relationship you're seeking to mend or build or find. And so there is a place for that community that I think many times, secular people, free thinkers like I am, we miss out on. And so what I now do is to take part in those communities, whereas before, I was so wedded to the fact that it had to be true that I had to believe everything. And frankly, I think congregations also demanded that, like, I kind of felt that if I don't belong, unless I believe everything. Tell me, I'm an imposter. But now I've kind of relaxed that, right? Like, it's don't ask, don't tell. Nobody asked the Pope exactly what he believes. Right? Nobody questions him. There's no faith test on the way out to ensure that you. Some places do that. But I don't want to be part of those places. It's a very utilitarian view of this. Look, it seems to make people live longer and be healthier and enjoy life more. Why would I not try this particular tactic?
Okay, so you're doing it on a nighttime? You're doing it in the morning? Are you saying it out loud? Are you doing it with a partner? Are you doing it on your own? What have you found? I do it whenever I pass a religious institution. So if the doors open, I walk in. I didn't know you could do that. But you can, you can just walk in, even if you're not a member of that congregation, even if it's not your background. And you can go in and you can pray.
Unreal, dude, I think this is a much needed book. I think it's a and I appreciate that you managed to balance the you have got control of this with the way that you feel is not unreal, and not fake. And I think that walking that line is a really difficult one because it switches people off immediately. If they feel like they're being victim blamed for something that they feel, and being able to empower somebody to you can make changes to this. And also, everything that you're going through is completely 100% real. That is a it's not an easy one. So congratulations, man. Where should people go to check out everything you got going on? I appreciate it. Thank you. So my blog is nireyal.com – nir like my first name, nir and far.com. And we actually have a special bonus, we put together a five minute belief change plan, which you don't have to buy anything up to sign up for anything. It's completely free. We just couldn't fit it in the book. And that is at nireyal.com/belief-change. That's nireyal.com/belief-change. David Wright. Heck, yeah. Now, until the next time, get writing. We'll talk again. Neil Milliken. Appreciate it. Thanks, Chris. David Wright. Congratulations, you made it to the end of an episode. Your brain has not been completely destroyed by the internet just yet. Here's another one that you should watch. Come on.
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