Ed Mylett On Why You Quit Right Before It Works
In a Nutshell
Most people quit right before success hits because they can't perceive how close they actually are. The key is committing to "one more" rep, call, day, or uncomfortable conversation—building compound progress that eventually breaks through, while operating from vision rather than past memory. Your greatest setbacks actually qualify you to help others and create the self-respect needed to deserve the success you're building.
These notes were generated by AI and may contain inaccuracies.
Most people want to be happy, rich, to contribute, and to have beautiful memories. The issue is depth perception—people think their vision is further away than it actually is. Because they believe it's so far away, they create patterns and behaviors that perpetually keep it there.
The truth is that you're one relationship away, one meeting away, one conversation, one podcast, one interview, one new thought, one new emotion, one new tactic or strategy away from completely changing the trajectory of your life. Everyone who has succeeded did so through one decision, one meeting, one extra rep, or one more phone call that changed their trajectory.
After double hernia surgery, waking up every morning expecting full healing created the feeling that healing was 80% away. This obsession with how far away the goal was caused missing the 1% change since yesterday—the reduced nerve pain and increased flexibility.
When you live with an expectation that these "one mores" exist, the reticular activating system filters them into your awareness. You develop sensory acuity, hearing conversations you weren't hearing before and seeing opportunities you previously missed. When something becomes important to you and you believe it to be true, the RAS goes to proving it for you.
Ed's father was an alcoholic who tried to get sober many times. During a drive to a baseball game, his father pulled the car over, crying, and said he was going to try to get sober "one more time." After rehab, when asked if he would never drink again, his father replied: "I can't promise you that. I can promise you I'm not going to drink for one more day at a time." He stayed sober for the rest of his life by stacking those one more days.
The things we're most ashamed of, embarrassed by—our divorce, bankruptcy, or being average and ordinary—don't disqualify us from success and happiness. The hardest things of your life are the very things that qualify you.
Ed's father was going to take his life or lose his family. Someone helped him get sober—an alcoholic, a drug addict, someone who had been lying and stealing and living in the shadows. The very thing that person probably thought disqualified them from a successful life was the one thing that qualified them to help Ed's father.
If you've had something you're ashamed of or a failure or setback, you're most qualified to help the people you used to be. That person's alcoholism and drug addiction helped Ed's father live those one more days forever.
People get attached to outcomes. When a sales meeting or pitch doesn't go their way, they conclude "it doesn't work." Goals are important, but during execution you must separate from outcome and be present.
95% of people operate out of history and memory, while 5% operate out of vision and imagination. The reason we're happier as children is we have no history and memory—we operate from imagination and dreams. At some age, people create a history that becomes their operating system.
Friends may be beautiful people who care about you, but when you're with them, if they constantly bring you to the filtration system of memory and history—"You remember when?"—they're not serving your growth. Friends who serve you ask: "What are you working on now? Where are you going? What's your vision? What do you want to create?"
A formula for misery, lack of creativity, and lack of productivity is constantly living from history and memory. Even if it's good, it doesn't serve us. Create a new future rather than moving away from the past.
Studies show that nostalgia makes us believe the past was more phenomenal than it actually was. The party you went to in college is better in your memory than it actually was. Memory is slightly warped and can make things feel much better or much worse.
This principle applies to everyday life—telling your wife you love her one more time, messaging your mom one more time, asking one more question. It's a lifestyle and mindset, not just for big business goals.
People carry the belief that some people are meant to be successful and others are not. Growing up with an alcoholic or drug-addicted parent, coming from divorce, or parents who didn't express love creates difficulty with self-confidence. Ed was bullied in school and didn't think he deserved much.
The only choice is to begin doing small things every day—one more call, one more meeting, one more book read, one more podcast listened to. Not only does this increase the likelihood of success through more reps, but it convinces you that you're doing things other people aren't willing to do. Slowly, you convince yourself you deserve more based on what you're doing, not the caliber of your talent.
Comfort creates self-care, but discomfort creates self-respect. The one more discomfort every day builds self-respect. You don't build self-esteem by saying it to yourself—you must take one more meeting, one more risk, one more discomfort.
The difference between winning and losing, happiness and sadness, is so small it's almost scary. The people who are most successful and happy have more uncomfortable conversations and more discomfort in their lives—but selected discomfort.
One more in the wrong direction can be misguided. People build multi-billion dollar companies but lose their kids, or become famous and rich but have their partner cheat. The question is how to use "one more" and ensure it's in the right direction.
Check in with yourself one more time: What matters to me now? What do I want now? What's important to me now? What season am I in? Maybe you need to rest. Maybe your spirit is telling you it's time to feed yourself again. Answer that call rather than playing out of a past playbook.
Each person was born to do something great with their life. Check in from time to time about what that current great thing is. Sometimes we think it's the big things—the movie, the song, the big achievement. But the man who helped Ed's father get sober performed an act of greatness in his life. That kind moment with another person saying "I can help you" was greatness.
Don't discount your own greatness or your own call to do something great. It doesn't have to be on social media or in a book or speech. You matter. You were born to do something awesome with your life.
At a birthday party, seven children hit a piñata with no candy coming out. The eighth and smallest child hit it once and all the candy came out. The question is: who broke the piñata? The answer is the cumulative blows of each shot—it was the compound pounding progress.
Life is like that. We're taking shots but don't see physical progress, yet every "one more" is compound pounding progress. Most people quit on their dream before the candy comes out. They hit the piñata of their life and there's no evidence it's working, but the truth is there's a compound pounding effect. If you keep hitting your life's piñata, if you'll stick around, there'll be some candy come out—the candy could be your bliss, joy, financial success, notoriety, or contribution.
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