How to Better Regulate Your Emotions | Dr. Marc Brackett
In a Nutshell
Dr. Marc Brackett redefines emotion regulation as wisely using emotions (ER = (G + S) f(E + P + C)) to achieve life goals via the PRIME framework (Prevent, Reduce, Initiate, Maintain, Enhance), emphasizing context-specific strategies over suppression. Key tools include the meta moment—pausing to label emotions, invoke your best self, and choose responses—plus the RULER framework (Recognizing, Understanding, Labeling, Expressing, Regulating) for self-awareness and co-regulation, especially vital for boys/men facing vulnerability stigma. Cultural mindsets block progress; role-modeling honest emotional processing with strategies builds resilience, predicts success in leadership/relationships, and counters dysregulation in a polarized world.
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A lot of people think emotion regulation is getting rid of a feeling. It's not. It's having another relationship to it. Dr. Marc Brackett has lived with anxiety for much of his life, but sometimes he just says hello to it: "Hey, how you doing today?" And it goes away pretty quickly or it just sits there. People misunderstand that emotion regulation doesn't require checking in with feelings all day long and then regulating. You'd become psychotic if you did that all day long. Most of the time emotions are in the background. If you thought about your feelings all day long, you wouldn't be able to do a podcast. That's unproductive. Emotions matter when there's a shift in the environment or relationships. If someone says something that offends, you're activated, feeling angry or shocked. Then you make a choice in that moment about how to manage it. That's where the magic happens.
Welcome to the Huberman Lab podcast, discussing science and science-based tools for everyday life. Andrew Huberman is a professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine. Guest is Dr. Marc Brackett, professor of psychology at Yale University and director of Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. He is an expert in the science of emotions and applying it to improve communication, relationships, performance in school and work. Discussions of emotions and emotional intelligence are often vague, soft, and cliche, but Dr. Brackett explains practical tools from the science. His research focuses on small things to do in moments of emotion or alone to increase ability to understand feelings, communicate effectively, and listen better, especially in tense moments. These are life skills that improve school, friendships, romantic relationships, professional life, and family life.
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