Selena Gomez on Living with a Mind that Swings
In a Nutshell
Selena Gomez describes living with bipolar disorder as learning to accept it as part of herself rather than fighting it, using medication, therapy, and lifestyle changes like avoiding scary movies to manage mood swings. She emphasizes taking control of her narrative through her documentary instead of letting media define her, while embracing imperfection and finding strength in vulnerability rather than maintaining a perfect image. The core message is that growth comes from accepting change, breaking fear-based patterns of isolation, and choosing to lead with love even when facing public scrutiny.
These notes were generated by AI and may contain inaccuracies.
Selena Gomez explains that her favorite thing to say about her experience is that she has bipolar disorder and has learned to live with it and made it her friend. The process began with recognizing when something was happening and accepting it. She realized this wasn't something that would go away or be fixed by treatment centers, but rather something she needed to understand about herself. If she goes down certain roads, she gets triggered and knows how to avoid those situations.
She has attended four treatment centers and received dialectical behavior therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy. She believes wholeheartedly in her medication which helps her stay balanced, but she still deals with low days and moments when she's too over the top, wanting to buy everyone a house and save the world. Her family and friends have also learned how to live with her condition and be great friends to her in that way.
The interviewer compares acceptance to understanding seasons and weather - knowing it's going to rain or be dark sometimes, which allows you to stop fighting and changing it. Gomez confirms this understanding took her a long time, approximately 10 years, and she feels better now that she can talk about it.
The conversation explores letting go of old selves or parts that no longer serve us. The interviewer shares an analogy about snakes shedding their skin, noting that snakes don't break out or rip their skin off - they slither out and their skin falls away naturally. This resonated because shedding and letting go isn't an aggressive process.
Gomez acknowledges she tends to blame herself when she can't let something go, feeling things are her fault or she should have done more or less of something. This can turn her sad. When watching the documentary back for the first time, she didn't recognize the girl she was and it broke her heart, particularly seeing herself talk about her body and image.
Gomez has a younger sister which gave her a huge responsibility that helped her. She mentions her fans and people who have grown with her. She had to get back up every time more for them than for herself. She learned that while it's healthy to want to be strong for other people, she needed to recognize she needed to be strong for herself.
This realization took making herself uncomfortable and changing her thought process, the things she watches on TV, and the music she listens to. Small things that can adjust mood for better or worse. She loves scary movies but can't watch them all the time because they affect her mood negatively. She mentions watching Hereditary as something that ruins her mood the worst.
The documentary captures the added layer of exposure Gomez faces - every time she's in a car and gets out, there are cameras, people, and opinions. She doesn't know any different because she was raised in it. She had to learn the hard way how to deal with it and not give the clickbait that people want.
She does her best to eliminate negative stories or others illustrating her journey by interrupting them with her truth. The documentary represents her taking control of her story, and no one can change that or say any different.
The interviewer admires how Gomez always leads with love even when addressing narratives, choosing to inject love into situations and recalibrate. Gomez started gaining confidence to take control of her narrative during a very public breakup. Every day she wanted to debunk the feelings she had about herself and take control over that narrative.
The greatest gift from that experience was being honest with people, sharing her story, and gaining confidence to know she is enough. She works hard at being a good person and knows she's a great person. When people paint unnecessary stories, she finds pleasure in combating them with love and kindness.
She doesn't want to waste time being upset or taking in negative things online. She doesn't even hear most of it - when it gets really bad, other people tell her. She's grateful for her past because it made her stronger.
Gomez shares her truth without making it defensive. She doesn't know if she intentionally does it, but it works well so she's sticking to it.
The documentary provides full access to her relationships, both long-term and newer ones. It shows her straight after and before interviews. There was a time when she felt angst because she gets asked poor questions. She feels insulted when asked meaningless questions during press that lasts from 8:00 a.m. until whenever the night ends.
She wanted to spend that time talking about meaningful moments. She included this in the documentary because she knows many artists feel this way. She hopes it will shift the trend of asking clickbaity questions and instead ask people how they're doing.
Gomez wanted people to realize she's not really that put together. She can be and feels much better now, but she doesn't want people to look at her and think she has it all figured out or is perfect. She doesn't want to be that kind of public figure. She wants to be someone people can genuinely walk up to and have a conversation with, saying they understand what she walked through because they did too.
Gomez felt she had to be perfect when going through relationships. In 2016, she was talking about her body, appearance, and how everyone would see her as this Disney kid and no one would take her seriously. All of those moments created confusion for her.
Gomez is okay with her imperfections. She thinks a lot of who she is are just a few things that are not perfect. Even her laugh - she used to be insecure about it. Little things like always talking during a movie make her happy. She gives the example of being a banana for Halloween - she got the cheapest outfit, put it on, and roamed around Times Square with friends having the best time while everyone else went all out.
In creative work, Gomez says there are no stupid questions in any session. Mistakes that happen in the studio and on set often become part of the final product. She messed up a line that ended up being funny and kept it in the show. Something she said in a lyric that was wrong ended up being the biggest hook they've got. She craves those moments where imperfection becomes part of the process.
Gomez believes there's blessing in the breaking in every moment. Even with road rage or losing someone you love, there's no perfect way to heal. It's about how to be a better person and make the best choice for yourself. She tries to turn losing someone she loves into celebrating that person and the great things they provided. She asks friends to hold her accountable to flip negative situations into something else.
Gomez emphasizes she's not saying she's arrived at any destination - this is what she's trying to practice. Every day is practice. At the premiere, she said she doesn't have anything figured out. Her story is not done, and she can't wait to find out what's going to happen next. There will be bumps, but she's going to learn how to live with them.
Going home is untainted territory for Gomez - safe, simple, and kind. Where she's from, it's about being together and loving each other. People welcome her home without treating her differently. She enjoys visiting what made her who she is and hopes to inspire people from where she's from to do something bigger.
Her snow cone place holds special memories - she would go with her dad and cousin and get pickle snow cones with grape in them. It brought her back to hot Texas days when she was with family, stopping to sit outside for an hour and talk.
Gomez hates change but in the past year has really embraced the uncomfortableness of it. She gets exhausted of the same thing over and over again. She learned her world can be bigger by being in a different destination. She works on Only Murders in the Building in New York, shooting for months rather than the week or two she's used to. She loved the friendships made, knowledge gained, and the culture. Life is celebrated there. She's become more comfortable with change and wants to continue doing that.
Gomez had always returned to the same behavior, fear, and pattern of maybe
Selena Gomez describes how she repeatedly returned to the same behavioral patterns of fear and anxiety. She found herself avoiding going out because she didn't want to be seen, staying in due to anxiety, or declining events to avoid being noticed. This created a state of being terrified of the world, which she recognized was not a sustainable way of living.
She notes that it's easy to show up for work because you're surrounded by people who help you look good, you perform your job, smile, and then you're done. However, she emphasizes that taking spontaneous trips or simply going to Balboa Park - which she describes as a very simple park - is necessary for personal growth and wellbeing.
Gomez explains that spending time in New York really helped her and opened her up. Being around a bunch of New Yorkers created a transformative effect, which she acknowledges with laughter during the conversation. She notes that this environment contributed positively to her personal development and ability to engage with the world more freely.
"It just really opened me up."
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