The Science & Process of Healing from Grief | Huberman Lab Essentials
In a Nutshell
Grief requires remapping attachments in the brain's three-dimensional map of space, time, and closeness after loss, while deliberately preserving the emotional bond rather than trying to detach from it. Dedicated periods of focusing on the attachment without counterfactual thinking, combined with writing exercises, help uncouple episodic memories from the present reality. Establishing healthy cortisol rhythms through morning sunlight, quality sleep, and NSDR protocols supports the neuroplasticity needed to reorganize this map and move through grief effectively.
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Welcome to Huberman Lab Essentials, where past episodes are revisited for the most potent and actionable science-based tools for mental health, physical health, and performance. Andrew Huberman is a professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine. The episode discusses how grief is conceptualized at both emotional and logical levels, covering the neuroscience and psychology of grief.
Key findings indicate that people map their experience of others in three dimensions: space (where people are), time (when people are), and closeness. These three dimensions establish close bonds with people and require remapping and reorganization within emotional and logical frameworks when someone is lost. Grief is a process with a beginning, middle, and end. Being able to orient where one is in that process is beneficial for predicting duration and for conceptualizing the lost person or animal while maintaining functional capacity in life.
Grief and depression can feel similar with overlapping symptoms including loss of appetite, challenges sleeping, and crying for no apparent reason, but they are distinctly different processes.
Common myths arise from Elizabeth Kubler Ross's work in the book on death and dying. The five stages described are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While much of what Kubler Ross described holds true, brain imaging studies, psychological evaluation, and clinical observation show it is not always the case. Functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) studies reveal that brain areas associated with motivation, craving, and pursuit are primary circuits activated in states of grief.
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