“The Wall” that kills happy relationships - Matthew Hussey

Lack of Compatibility in Relationships00:00

So much of what is being navigated in relationships is just a straight up lack of compatibility. It's far easier to date somebody who compensates for our shortcomings than it is to fix them. If you are the sort of person that likes to go to bed at 9:00 p.m. and your partner wants to go out clubbing three nights a week, there is going to be tension there and you're going to have to navigate it. Maybe the rest of the relationship is so good that this slightly major thing of a different sleeping pattern can be navigated through because everything else is great. But for the most part, there's going to be other stuff that comes along for the ride that you also don't agree on. If you have to compromise your sleep two nights a week and they have to not go out one night a week, both of you aren't getting the thing that you want. There is somebody out there who would love to party three nights a week. Allow them to find them. There is someone that would adore going to bed with you at 9:00 p.m. every single night and wants that homebody life. Go and find them. So much of the issues where people are trying to navigate this stuff is a lack of compatibility.

Opening Up Emotionally and Partner Reactions01:01

A lot of guys say, "I opened up to my partner." That's good. Congratulations. You faced the scary thing. As a man, you faced the scary thing and my partner was turned off. They weren't for you. That partner was not the person who can hold you in your wholeness, in your truth, in your full expression of who you are. Allow them to go and find someone who is never going to open up their emotions to them. They don't need to worry about those icks. They're never going to get that ick because homeboy is never going to talk about it. Enjoy that. Enjoy this emotionless barren wasteland of no one ever talking about their emotions. And maybe that's the guy that if you put him on a poster, you can say he's masculine and he's going to stand up. Great, you can date him. I'm going to go find someone who melts at the prospect of me being able to feel my feelings and then allows them to be a springboard for me to destroy in the world outside. That amount of compatibility.