Uncertain About Your Relationship? You Need This… - Matthew Hussey (4K)

Valentine's Day Promotion00:00

Valentine's Day is coming up. To more deeply connect with your partner or work out whether to break up, get a free list of 50 most viral and science-backed ways to connect deeply and 25 questions to decide if you should break up at chriswillx.com/valentines (also chriswillx.com/valentine).

Deciding When to Leave a Relationship00:33

One common issue is knowing when to end things. Matthew coached someone who gave many reasons to leave but asked what he thought. He said they've already given reasons to go but he can't make them leave. Sometimes people need more pain before leaving; everyone has a pain threshold.

The Cliff Edge Metaphor01:00

Think of relationships like a cliff edge: delay leads to freefall, financial blowup, lost time, deep regret, chaos, or lost other relationships. Goal is to create a fake cliff edge now to avoid the real one. Told the woman: can't make you leave; you might need more pain first.

Rock Bottom Has a Basement03:01

In toxic relationships that rob soul, identity, confidence (not just physical danger), people hit rock bottom but it has a basement with a trap door (Beth Macy on opioid crisis: people think rock bottom leads to rebound, but opioids go deeper). Ask: Can I endure this forever? Do I deserve to?

Trap of "Best That's Available"04:30

Trap: "What if this is the best I can get? Better isn't out there?" Don't leave only if you believe something better comes; compare to happiness without this person (thousand versions, not all involving another). "Could I do better?" keeps you stuck, especially with friends saying dating is a war zone.