American Airlines Flight 5342: The widowed wives left behind

Introduction to Flight 5342 Crash and Widowed Wives00:02

60 minutes overtime. We live in a world that doesn't understand grief. To us the world kind of stopped that night. Part of us all died that night. This week on 60 Minutes, we report on Flight 5342, the American Airlines flight that crashed into the Potomac last January after colliding with an Army helicopter on a training mission. 67 people died, including a group of seven friends returning home from a hunting trip. We sat down with the seven women they left behind, the wives who became widows in an instant, whose lives are now bonded by a shared grief. To report the story, worked with producer Andrew Bast.

The Seven Friends' Hunting Trip00:31

They were work buddies. A lot of them were union plumbers and steamfitters, all from the same part of southern Maryland, just about an hour south of Washington DC. This was a guy's trip and they went out to Witchita. They hunted ducks for about a week. They had a great time. Their wives told us that they hunted during the day, drank bourbon at night, and ended up doing yoga together.

Bend halfway. Extend for full.

The joke of the whole week was Johnson's doing yoga.

And then the last night, Tuesday night, he text me. He said, "Sunshine, they're all doing yoga."

I didn't even know Alice could touch his toes. I would love to see that.

What were they like when they all got together? Laughing. Laughter.

Boarding Flight 534201:30

When the week wrapped up, the 10 men started to pack their things up. Three of them had to get all the guns into the cars and drive them home. The other seven men went to the airport and boarded Flight 5342 to fly back to Washington DC.

John had texted me when he first boarded and said boarded bourbon in hand. And then right before they landed he said about to land this bird.

The last text I have from my husband says I love you babe. It's the last thing I read every time.

Plane started coming into Washington, banked to the left, and at the very last minute, saw an Army Blackhawk helicopter through the windows to the right, and that's when the collision happened.

Learning of the Crash02:01

Tell me about how you learned there was an accident.

I woke up to my parents at the foot of my bed, and they said Sarah, John's plane's crashed.

And at the time, we thought there were survivors. So, she said, "But it's okay. there's survivors" and I said, "If anyone can survive that cold water, it's Steve and John." They do cold plunges every single morning. So, at that point, we still had hope.

My mom called me, asked me if Alex was home. I said, "Not yet. He was getting home late." And she said there had been a crash. And I just started checking Facebook for anything. Then I saw an article that it came from Kansas. And I was standing when I read it. And my whole body went numb. my sight went. I couldn't feel anything. It was almost like my body knew without knowing.

I remember pacing the house not knowing what to do. You're totally helpless. And I went into the garage and I was hysterical. I remember opening the garage door and Zoe had wrote like a welcome home sign and put it on the door. My mind immediately went to our girls and how am I going to tell them this?

My mom was there and we sat on the couch in silence just kind of staring at the bedroom door just waiting to see the handle turn for when they were going to come out.

And I had to wake up and get my daughter ready for school cuz I didn't know how to tell her that her dad was dead. Took me three days to actually tell her because I just she's three. she's not going to understand.

Experiences of Grief04:00

For all the women that we spoke to were honest with us about grief, each of them described to us the confusing nature of that grief.

There is this guilt there which I read is very common where one day all of a sudden you're realizing that you're feeling good again or you had a normal day or you feel fine but then god you feel terrible about that. I still want to be with him. there's this feeling of very much wanting to live and do extraordinary things for them and also not wanting to live at all. It's very confusing. Or there's this happiness that you feel because somebody made a joke, but you're still super sad in there, too. It's really weird. And I never knew that before.

I try to talk to the girls a lot about letting them know that joy and grief can walk hand in hand. because grief can be a really dark, lonely place. I try to tell the girls that we still have a lot to be thankful for and that daddy would want us to be happy, but there's days that I can barely function.

Coping with Grief and Moving Forward05:31

You have two roads to take. One, we could lay in bed all day and be depressed. Or we can wake up and almost in a sense, let it fuel my fire. There's a lot of life to live. And I don't want to be the reason why my four kids grow up and have problems either. And I just want them to be happy for the rest of their life. And then knowing that they will see their dad again and keep our faith strong.

Cherished Memories06:00

When I think of Alex, I don't think of my wedding day. I don't think of the big moments. I always think of the little ones of like him in the kitchen just being in front of every drawer I needed to be in front of asking if he could help me cook while he's just making the biggest mess I've ever seen. And he's just like we're just laughing. No matter what we were doing, we were laughing. It's very vivid in my mind. And I hope when I'm 80 and 90 I hope I don't lose that sound in my mind.

What I miss most is just him walking into the room and just the way that he would look at me. And sometimes I would be like why are you looking at me? Stop staring at me. He's just like I just love you so much. Like you're just so beautiful. And I'd be like oh thank you. But he just he was a great person. He loved so hard.

Human Cost and Future Plans07:01

This is a story about a plane crash and about airspace regulation and a lot of technical bureaucratic rules that make our airplanes and our airspaces safer. But the real human cost of it comes through and that's one of the main drivers of why we did this story.

We were getting ready to retire and like I don't have anybody like they do. My whole future was ripped from me the instant that he's gone. I'm older than most of these ladies and I don't have a future without him and I'm trying to live out everything that me and Stevie had planned to do for the rest of our life. But I can't do it by myself.

You're looking at seven women who are grieving, not to mention all the kids, all the parents, all the siblings, all the friends, all everything else. We don't just carry grief. We carry a lot of weight to be the best that we can be with the circumstances that we were given.

Bonds Formed Through Shared Grief08:01

I'm just fortunate to have met the ladies that I didn't know before this. It you take something so tragic and you gain friendships that will last a lifetime.

I don't think any of us could have handled any of this if we were by ourselves. So yeah, it's a lot to hold, a lot to carry, but grief makes you feel lonely because you feel like nobody else knows what you're going through. But when you have people that know what you're going through, it makes it a lot I wouldn't say easier, but it definitely helps.