“Everything you’ve been told about dating is wrong” | Dr Paul Eastwick

Background and Critique of Evolutionary Psychology00:00

Host notes that past guests and education on mating dynamics and relationship science have been informed by an evolutionary perspective. Dr. Paul Eastwick's new book takes an opposing perspective to much of the evolutionary psychology position.

Eastwick clarifies it's not a standard nature-nurture debate. He proposes a different way of talking about human nature and how humans evolve to form relationships, which is missing in current discourse, motivating him to write the book.

Eastwick's background: Scholar of close relationships in the field of relationship science, within social and personality psychology tradition, with connections to clinical psychology and family studies. Informed by evolutionary perspective, but different—emphasizes attachment perspectives with deep evolutionary roots from Bowlby onward.

Problems with Classic Evolutionary Psychology Script01:31

Eastwick criticizes it for overestimating features of human mating:

• Big emphasis on mate value (some people more desirable than others).
• Emphasis on gender differences (men and women very different in mating).
• Emphasis on short-term vs long-term mating distinction (some good at one or the other).

These lead to misconceptions. Relationship science view focuses on attachment, compatibility, and forming relationships through small networks.

Host agrees many conversations cover short-term vs long-term and sex differences in preferences.