How Instagram Kills Your Sex Life - Dr Debra Soh
In a Nutshell
In an era of unprecedented sexual permissiveness, people are having less sex due to social media's influence: men lose interest in partners after viewing influencers (1 in 10 per a cited study), while women feel less desirable from constant comparisons. Real-world anecdotes reveal distorted attraction standards—e.g., a man catfished by a date's Instagram rejects her in person, another turned off by a great woman's poor online presentation. This fuels trends like young women pursuing plastic surgery to compete in the filtered "marketplace" of extreme, idealized images.
These notes were generated by AI and may contain inaccuracies.
We have the most sexually permissive culture in history that is also having the least amount of sex. Social media changes how people view potential partners and their own partners. Study cited in Sex showing roughly one in 10 men loses interest in having sex with his own partner after looking at influencers, and women feel less sexually desirable after being on social media. This loss of interest is for a brief window of time. Men become less interested in having real sex with their partner when they've been looking at influencers on the internet.
English study. At uni, two guys went on first dates two nights in a row. First night, guy went back with her and had sex, but she looked nothing like her Instagram—like a catfish. He joked about wanting to strap her Instagram to her forehead to look at it. Next night, another guy went on a date with a really lovely woman, they didn't sleep together, but he checked her Instagram afterward and got turned off because she wasn't presented well in the marketplace.
That's a good thing—found a diamond in the rough, someone fantastic in person who isn't competing in the marketplace. He was conditioned to judging a woman's attractiveness through her social media profile, the most extreme version of you. Got turned off by her having a bad Instagram account. In club promotion industry, guys were 19 with no prefrontal cortex.
Social media has conditioned people more subtly to the general population. Guys less likely to want sex after looking at influencers; girls less likely to feel attractive—it's a comparison game. Chapter on plastic surgery: trend of young girls getting procedures to compete and be found attractive, constantly inundated with these images on social media. Adolescent girls who are less popular or do upward comparison to more attractive or popular girls fall prey more, attempting to clamber up the hierarchy imbalance.
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