Male Roles, Obligations and Options for Building a Fulfilling Life | Scott Galloway
In a Nutshell
Scott Galloway outlines masculinity as provider, protector, and procreator, urging young men to build resilience by embracing rejection (e.g., approaching women), lifting weights 3x/week, working outside the home 30+ hours/week, and volunteering 3x/month to enter the top 8% and escape inceldom. Big tech algorithms foster isolation, porn addiction, and asocial habits via induced OCD-like phone use, demanding antitrust, age-gating, and Section 230 reforms to curb mental health harms. Men must mentor fatherless boys, end wealth transfers from young to old (e.g., reform Social Security), and renew male-female alliances for societal stability, as unmentored, broke young men fuel instability.
These notes were generated by AI and may contain inaccuracies.
The goal is to get nos. After making an approach, text that you did it and got a no—that's exactly the point. Everyone admired who has succeeded—top 10 podcasts, high-character hotter partners, unexpected wealth—endured tons of nos. Success comes from willingness and endurance to anticipate no.
Welcome to the Huberman Lab podcast discussing science and science-based tools for everyday life. Andrew Huberman, professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine. Guest: Scott Galloway, professor at NYU Stern School of Business, leading public educator on intelligent life design including finances, relationships, sociopolitical landscape.
Focus on masculinity and challenges for men young and old in work, relationships, health. Review data, statistics—Scott grounded in quantitative data. Shares clear actionable steps for daily progress in work, relationships, finances. Debate on alcohol, big tech/social media benevolence, male-female dynamics, single mom homes, divorce. Proactive with effective tools from knowledge, data, deep thinking reflecting current landscape.
Podcast separate from Stanford teaching/research, brings zero-cost science info to public. Includes sponsors.
Scott Galloway, welcome. >> Thanks, man. Good to see you. Nervous driving over—likes and respects Andrew, wants to do well, same feeling before Rich Roll's podcast.
Great to have you. Respect Scott, prior extended conversation, fired up to learn.
Doing something different: posing off-mic question on camera. At 62 (Scott), 50 (Andrew). At 16, 20, 30 wanted elder knowledge but knew they didn't understand that age's realities. Don't fully know 16, 25, 30, 40-year-olds in 2026. Reconcile with timeless truths vs. current pain points/opportunities. How pass truly useful info?
Acknowledge you don't know what you don't know. Turn to data to counter biases. Have 15- and 18-year-old sons—ask, observe, hang out. Open to pushback; if comment hurts, usually right. Acknowledge when wrong.
What 3-10 things all males strive for good life?
Everyone needs a code for hundreds of daily decisions—make higher proportion good vs. peers. Code from religion, military, family, first job (Morgan Stanley professionalism), sports (UCLA). Wonder if masculinity as code/aspirational for males. Masculinity/femininity not sequestered by birth sex—drawn to feminine men as nurturing friends.
- Provider: Plan to be economic lead for family (adjust if partner excels—e.g., partner's Goldman Sachs job > Scott's $160k NYU salary in NYC; Scott picked up home labor/finances). Males evaluated on economic viability for self-esteem, sexual currency, societal esteem. Plan early: trade school for energy-efficient HVAC, etc.—move toward something.
- Protector: Masculine jobs (fireman, cop, military). Most satisfied feeling family protected at night—kids asleep, partner loved/supported, warm life via partnership/economic value. Critique leaders like president/wealthiest man skipping protection.
- Procreator: Stop demonizing young men's relationship/sexual desires—motivator like fire in steel casing. Anecdote: Raleigh Hotel Miami, approached attractive woman midday sans alcohol, felt wimpish, ran back: "Hi, I'm Scott. Where you from?" 18 months later, son's middle name Raleigh. Channeled via kindness, excellence, shower, workout, plan, resilience, perseverance.
Missed in book: other masculinities sans economic security/mate; service—optimize for service not attention. Litmus test (Richard Reeves): surplus value—create more tax revenue/jobs than absorb; love more than complain; love more people than love you. Scott became man in 40s—shifted from capitalist relationships (want more than give) to surplus: better friend/partner, invest in kids (they add negative value, no 2am worry reciprocity). Whole point: surplus value, service over attention.
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Love code for better decisions than peers—bold/underline/highlight for all ages. Caveat: Jerry Springer popular for focusing on worse-off to stay put.
Comparison: dispel myth success = exploitation (unhealthy far-left zeitgeist). Strive for success (personal def: economic security from anxious upbringing). Past wrong masculinity: get in face for disrespect (traffic, Delta 1K). Better: men who take blows, understand bad days.
Tactical for mentoring struggling young men (living home, not elite paths):
- Unlock phone—find 8 hours/week wasted (TikTok, X, porn, gambling, YouTube). Reallocate to:
- Get strong: Best antidepressant—lift weights/build bulk or run far. Under 30: walk into room knowing could kill/eat or outrun all (fast/flexible/strong). Male advantages: bone density, fast-twitch, testosterone.
- Make money outside house: Uber, TaskRabbit, Panera $18/hr (1/10 show day 1). Taste of money teaches capitalism.
- Group achievement 3x/month: Nonprofit, church, sports league, writing club.
- The approach: Express friendship ("Hey, want to watch Jets game?") or romantic interest safely ("Coffee sometime?").
Goal is no—text after: got no? Yes, point. Success (top podcast, better partner, surprise wealth) from ton of nos, willingness/endurance to anticipate no. Big tech algorithms convince of frictionless life
Big tech sets up algorithms convincing people that a frictionless life is good and that you never need to endure no. This results in a lack of skills to persevere and realize you're okay. Scott asks kids: Are you okay? Yeah, I'm bummed out, but you're okay.
If a man under 30 works out three times a week, works 30 hours a week outside the house, and volunteers, he is immediately in the top 8% of young men. Doing these three things—work outside the house, work out, kindness practice/volunteer in service of others—puts you in the top decile of young men.
Hates the incel (involuntarily celibate) movement. Throughout history, 99% of men have been involuntarily celibate for most of their lives. Young men would rather be having sex than few other things. Only 40% of men have reproduced throughout history (80% of women). No man has a birthright to reproduce. In the West now, it's 75%. Young men have more agency than ever.
If in top decile of young men, over time you become voluntarily incelibate, establishing a relationship. Young men under 30 benefit more from relationships than women, per research. Yet only 1 in 3 men under 30 in a relationship (2 in 3 women). Not mathematically impossible—women date older for more economically/emotionally viable men.
Get fit, start making money, have a plan, do things in service of others. Ultimate hack for depression/feeling bad: help others. Antichrist of progress for young man/devil/enemy/villain/bond villain with trillions is big tech. They use AI a million times a second to convince you to spend one more second on phone, sequestered from relationships, for shareholder value. 40% of S&P is 10 companies monetizing your time.
Results in cohort of millions of men evolving into asocial, asexual males who wake at 30 thinking they had frictionless life: living at home, obese, anxious, depressed, without skills for professional/personal success. Big tech not your friend. Modulate big tech products (Instagram, YouTube) or fall into trap of not developing skills for relationships—most important thing in life.
Host pushes back on big tech critique, grew up in Silicon Valley, close to people running companies (e.g., #2/#4 slots, some CEOs). Raises Elon Musk, richest man, surprised Scott called him out as non-protector. Elon loves children, organizes family differently, capacity to care for them, committed to big projects (Neuralink phenomenal progress, SpaceX, Tesla, xAI). Desire to get to Mars genuine for humanity's option.
Scott: Net, big tech and Elon Musk good for world. Wouldn't press red button to eliminate them. Get to EVs/Mars faster because of Elon—inspired EV race. As role model for masculinity/young men: super aggressive, risk-taking, ignores noise, laser-focused, great storyteller, garners capital—inspiration.
Problem if richest man doesn't move to protection/taking care of others. Not great role model there. Punches down online (mean comments), 120M followers come for you. Rule for men: never punch down. Scott makes personal attacks only on markedly more powerful people. Trump/Elon punch down.
Net good, but hold accountable for blessings. Tech brothers (Elon posts America/government) lack appreciation for U.S. system creating opportunity (examples: Qualcomm San Diego, SpaceX/Snap, Salesforce/Meta/Google, Amazon/Microsoft; stops at Canadian border except Lululemon; UCSD companies, then 7,000km to Mercado Libre/Buenos Aires). Obnoxious to post government despite blessings.
Age of everything public about figures—they share more. American business oversharing (e.g., family photos facing out in offices; dad's Argentina observation: photos face in, private).
Jocko Willink: impressive, true warrior, great dad/husband, tough coach figure younger guys gravitate to—does what he says, posts it. Good example of public figure.
View public figures (Jocko, Scott, host) as buffet: adopt certain traits, not others (unless criminal). Don't place unreasonable perfection expectation on leaders/role models. Young guys think they must be perfect or need fraternity for protection—drives toxic manosphere (mishmashy mess).
Expectation leaders flawless conflicts with telling guys to ask/get told no. Attractive guy asking woman for coffee: romantic. Unattractive: creepy. How to tell not-good-looking guy to approach without being called creep—especially on apps that blacklist (not just for assault, but bad kisser/smell; now public what used to be private women talk).
Elon phenom unseen in 100 years, huge vision, good example despite issues (none of business). Gives permission to not be perfect without harming.
Scott: If optimizing for attention/cheap capital, critical of others, dominant in electing president—pay close attention. Reported ketamine addiction, sleeping with loaded gun, not living with children—if he puts life out for affirmation, scrutiny fair. Have grace, learn from people.
Big tech connects economic value to tearing down. Algorithms reward antagonism (e.g., "Andrew Huberman's book is bullshit" gets millions views/Nissan ads). Healthy checks on power good (presidents/business/personal where shows character). But economic incentive for gotcha on imperfect people.
Scott: Divorced, not always kind to employees, impostor syndrome, portrays better on podcasts. Fear big tech incentivizes guardians of gotcha pins on famous/credible.
Hates progressive purity tests (e.g., photo with UCLA buddies—aircraft carrier pilot, ophthalmologist; comments: white privilege douchebag). Algorithms elevate antagonism over nuance/positive (e.g., mRNA vaccines alter DNA gets comments/elevation).
40% S&P market value tied to incendiary content tearing us apart. Americans see neighbors/ideological differences (Trump sign, gender politics) as enemies, not Russian troops in Ukraine. Platforms fueled by bad actors (GRU/CCP) to make Americans hate each other (can't beat economically/kinetically).
Healthy: thoughtful criticism (e.g., Atlantic/NYer/New Yorker review of Scott's book upsetting, some true). Unhealthy: bot comments (dogm Wisconsin 331, 3 followers) not screened—more incendiary = more ads. Maturity: people imperfect, learn. Wealthiest man/president held to higher standard—decisions matter, scrutiny warranted. They create cloud cover for imperfections.
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Host more influential. NYU woman (ex-gf's sister, VC): "For our generation, Scott is like a father—we look up, listen, paternal."
Scott prefers "older brother," self-conscious of age (60s, fit, 2 healthy boys, happy relationship, reach/bank fine, service). Would rather be here at 41 not 61.
Fear of criticism blocks success. Starting business = public failure.
Most women: respectful approach at bar (hi how are you), if not interested, politely exit—both fine, no career risk. Two damaging myths: men think women want to embarrass/cancel them professionally. Vast majority respectful/safe approaches fine.
I don't buy that pursuing a career risks everything or excuses being an incel. Embracing atheism and the finite nature of life unlocks courage. At some point, I'll look into my kids' eyes knowing our relationship is ending. Yesterday I was the age of these young dudes who look 25 but are probably 35. In an instant, I'll face the end with little time left. In 100 years, no one will care about what I said, thought, did, or my mistakes. Accepting this gives courage to start businesses, make crazy investments, tell men I love or am impressed by them.
Past masculinity norms prevented compliments like "dude, look how handsome" fearing loss of prestige, expressing love to women fearing rejection, or needing to stay cool. Every failure, like bankruptcy, is quickly forgotten as people return to their own concerns. Everyone you're worried about doesn't care about you. The not-so-good-looking guy with a high-character hot woman either has rich parents or endures rejection.
Myth of risking personal and professional reputation by approaching women is false. Men should make the approach respectfully.
Women on TikTok claim they don't date due to risk of being "unalived" (woke term for murdered, to avoid algorithmic demotion). Data: 2500 women murdered yearly by men—too many, huge problem. Sexual assault bigger issue. Most women murdered by someone known. Few murdered on dates with strangers.
40,000 men kill themselves yearly. On a date, man 16x more likely to self-harm than harm her.
Advice to men: approach respectfully, you'll be fine. To women: digital breadcrumbs on apps; Uber ride more dangerous than date; more likely to choke during dinner than be hurt by date.
Inflammatory online content blocks most rewarding thing: finding physical attraction, spiritual sync, building life together. Sex recession worsened by apps incentivizing chasing bigger better deal. Genders blame each other.
Need renewal of alliances: with Europe, moderates, moderate lefties like me and moderate conservatives—we're all Americans. Greatest alliance: between men and women. Integration of female/male energy, procreating, building together—most rewarding, key to species progress/existence.
Men/women taught not to trust/blame each other. Hate manosphere and misandry cosplaying as social commentary (assuming every young man predator, billionaire evil, white person racist).
Alliance between men/women greatest in history, needs reform. Online teaches men to blame women—no, women's ascent saved us. Women in WWII factories won war in 4 years not 7. Women entering workforce 70s/80s with fair pay rights prevented second-tier status to China.
Women's ascent not inversely correlated to men's descent. Stop blaming immigrants—they lower rent, affordable meals, care for mothers. Women's higher standards (no economic dependence) motivate men to level up, not blame.
Online inflames for attention/Nissan ads. Economic incentive needed for men/women appreciating each other.
"The way you destroy a society is to get the men and women to hate each other."
As biologist: eradicates population by halting mating, causing infighting among males/females. Males hide behind needing to be tall/rich/jacked/kind/perfect, can't err once.
Woman known 20 years (Bay Area/San Francisco): thanks Scott for encouraging men as protectors, providers, accountable. Shortage among heterosexuals. Accountability: men avoid shame/guilt, respond without empathy in relationships. Chivalry dead. Men afraid to assert desires (obligation), give up on growth/leveling up, shy from protective roles despite physical strength (flawed egalitarian dynamics).
Men wimpy, avoid work/responsibility fearing inadequacy, difficult conversations/repair fearing shame/guilt, explicit asks/compliments/flowers/romance fearing obligation.
Response: Overwhelming for 25yo guy—flowers, romance, affection, sexual proactivity, responsibility, empathy, level up. All while working out 3x/week.
Big tech creates insecurities/unreasonable expectations: must look perfect, millions, private jet, six-pack boyfriend. Teen suicide skyrocketed post-social/mobile (top reason per Jonathan Haidt, Jean Twenge San Diego State).
No one under 16 on social media; girls sexualized, suicidal ideation gets suicide images.
Fault ours for expecting better from tech CEOs—they maximize shareholder value via incremental decisions. Regulate like EPA/FDA for fossil fuels/pesticides. No regulation on big tech despite weaponizing Washington/Citizens United.
Amazon: more full-time lobbyists in DC than sitting US senators. Unfettered: bots, child harm, election influence.
If podcast proven to cause teen self-harm, shut down/sued. Big tech does worse daily. Google liable (LA case). New Mexico AG posed as 12yo girl: minutes to solicitations from known abusers.
Tech targets ads precisely (Warby Parker, Coachella/David Byrne)—can prevent 12yo getting predator overtures. Made $11B last year from under-18s.
Blame voters: elect people to hold accountable. 97% elections won by top fundraiser. Big tech's fastest growing expense: lobbying (highest ROI). Politicians cheap ($50k for dinner).
Until reform Citizens United, degerrymander—money wins. American less-regulation model beats Europe (no growth 20yrs), but now disregard children's well-being, mutual hate.
Need big tech EPA/FDA equivalent, especially AI. Trade-offs exist (fossil fuels/pesticides), but regulate.
Kids (15/18) robbed of youth. Son device-addicted, lies to use TikTok (like British opium to Chinese). Raise generation hating America, infighting, no grace for being American.
Kids seeing friends daily halved last 20yrs. Men 20-30 spend less time outdoors than prison inmates. Tech sequesters youth prioritizing wealth/shareholders.
Elected leaders fail preventing tragedy of the commons (both parties).
Reframe: phone/social media behavior like clinical OCD, not dopamine hits. OCD (per Judith Rapoport): compulsion doesn't relieve obsession, reinforces it (handwashing, scratching, hair-pulling). Phone use: passive degradation reinforces obsession. Tied to dopamine pathway.
Seeing as induced OCD helps escape: view self externally, realize hijacking. Reflexive pickup despite not wanting to—lack of awareness.
Tech cares but scale/shareholders hard. Need individual control/benevolence, but against economic interest.
Antitrust: Meta shouldn't have bought Instagram—data scale suppresses competitors. 2/3 social media to one company. No oxygen for platform banning 18-and-under, incendiary/bot/foreign actor content.
Google shouldn't have bought YouTube. Divest: YouTube builds search, Google video—competition lowers labor/advertiser rents.
These companies are a set of distinct monopolies that extract rents from labor, from the consumer, and from the well-being of America. Antitrust efforts by Senator Klobuchar have been significant, but she notes being overrun with a staff of 60 people against 200 lawyers hired by Meta and Facebook dedicated to obstructing antitrust actions and funding delays.
Removal of Section 230 for Algorithmic Content
Remove Section 230 protections for algorithmically elevated content. Platforms claim they are not media companies but neutral boards. However, when they elevate certain content, they bear responsibility. Elevated content can harm mental health and tear at America's fabric. If platforms algorithmically elevate content, they should face the same liability as media companies like News Corp.
When News Corp and Fox told its on-air anchors to repeat a lie that they knew was a lie—that Smartmatic voting machines had been weaponized by Hugo Chavez—they paid a $750 million fine after Smartmatic sued for economic harm. What happened on Fox was a dumpster fire compared to the nuclear mushroom cloud on Facebook that day.
Protections from 1997 were for neutral tech platforms, not media companies. Algorithmic elevation makes them media companies subject to equivalent liability.
Age Restrictions
Age-gate platforms like Instagram and YouTube. The downside for 15-year-olds outweighs the upside. Claims that this is solely parenting are a tell—they lack kids. Kids get homework via these platforms. NYU colleague Adam Alter notes that completely removing screens can damage mental health by ostracizing kids from social activity. The greatest uptick in school scores occurs when schools ban phones, as suggested by Jonathan Haidt.
Common-sense solutions retain benefits while preventing 14-year-olds from spending seven hours daily on TikTok or Instagram unsupervised by working single mothers. Tech companies will spend tens to hundreds of millions to block these.
Interviewer appreciates the response, hoping companies listen post-lawsuits (minor relative to revenue but public). Leaders (mostly men, post-Susan Wojcicki at YouTube) have kids who attend no-screen schools and limit phone use. They fulfill capitalist duties within law, generating tax revenue for navy, innovation, parks. Basic regulations are delayed and obfuscated.
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Huberman spoke to 4,000 midshipmen at Annapolis, organized by Coleman Ruiz. Cadets live two per dorm room, do PT at 5 a.m., play competitive sports, phones forbidden most of day/night. Dining hall: Bells signal silence, eating (15 minutes), exit. Questions focused on becoming better humans physically, mentally, emotionally—during early Iran war tensions. Young woman in military space program.
Complete contrast: Firm handshakes, eye contact, diverse colors, statures, income classes. Inspiring hope. Thank God for the Navy. Poll: 20-30% use nicotine daily (oral forms)—addictive, raises blood pressure, no cancer risk.
Defer to Huberman on substance intake due to his expertise. Risks to 25-year-old liver dwarfed by social isolation risks. Post-COVID, 40% fewer pubs in Britain, reduced mating/connections. 95% integrate alcohol/drugs without serious consequences unless addiction history, dislike, or issues like violence/impairment.
Reflect: Most important in life—relationships, friendships, mating—often involved alcohol. Easier to lean in for a kiss with wine. Smoked pot, drank in 20s/college for bonding. Balance needed.
Anti-alcohol + remote work increases isolation, fewer bonding/risk-taking moments (approaching strangers). Young people demonize alcohol but do more solo/small-group drugs (e.g., cocaine historically for low-sexual-currency men sequestering women—creepy). Alcohol/marijuana more social/bonding.
Young people need to drink more, go out, and make a series of bad decisions that might pay off.
Loneliness risks outweigh alcohol; data doesn't support one drink causing cancer/addiction.
Huberman agrees isolation worse than alcohol (compounded by it). UCSB anecdote: Alcohol part of culture, selected for predisposed alcoholism—discipline needed. Messaging targets: Non-drinkers feel validated; midlifeagers aging poorly may drink too much; optimizers seeking vitality.
Do as wished if no harm.
Alcohol encourages badish decisions—positive without phones. Now, stupid remarks recorded, lead to HR/classmate isolation. Fraternities (Huberman: skateboarding/punk/Y-chromosomes) involve guys saying stupid things. Fear in young men (non-predatory) and women (Karen movement). Examples: Billie Eilish called out for Asian impersonation—mortified, apologized. Famous cases deter; better stay in room scrolling Instagram.
Phones compound alcohol/social media fears.
Galloway: Glad no 24/7 cameras at 18. Heading toward more grace, forgiving youth (e.g., post-Oct 7 campus actions—cut 18-year-olds slack vs. faculty). Alcohol reveals soul: How they treat pets, behave drunk.
For every stupid remark, more say wonderful things: "I think you're wonderful," compliment dress/smile, express interest/dance. Lowers inhibitions—majority good people hug, appreciate friendships. Used to call mom after drinks.
Reveals real person/courage. Barriers prevent young connections. Avoid drinking at professional functions—career-ruining.
Academic observation: Happy hours at grad/faculty/postdoc meetings fueled 90% interpersonal problems (affairs etc.), grant-funded.
Saw NIH-funded studies on alcohol causing immense problems when people gathered around it. Big proponent of NIH funding; worked hard to prevent cuts to direct and indirect funding. NIH funded career, grants, reviewed grants. Idea of spending money on alcohol research created problems, but students drinking with other students is less of an issue.
Proposes studying lowering drinking age to 18. In UK, military drinking age is 18; if dying for country, adult enough to drink. In UK, with adult at meal, can order beer at 17; at 18 in pub without adult. Takes son from boarding school to local pub for beer on weekends; after one beer, son more inclined to converse. As father, wants conversation and to know what's going on. Son doesn't get drunk, wary of alcohol. Easing young men and women into alcohol vs. sudden at 21. Drinking age raised due to Mothers Against Drunk Driving effectiveness from young people dying in accidents; now down due to Uber and airbags.
Suggests study on more social connection and less alcoholism later if easing in at 18. If kids can be drafted, should have judgment for beer.
Smoked a ton of pot in college; can make bong from household items, every line from Planet of the Apes? Pipe from apple is sophomore trick. At 22, job at Morgan Stanley, focused, didn't smoke for 20-25 years. Now takes 5mg edibles twice a week for sleep; enhancement to life. Reads about psychosis risks, but predisposition would show by now.
THC accretive; enjoys packaged source, prefers edibles for dosing. Mom's stomach cancer in July 2004; only nausea relief was marijuana. Scored on Las Vegas streets, scared to travel with it. Benefits to THC usage.
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THC highly individual; young males with genetic predisposition to psychosis/bipolar need caution, especially high-concentration. Young men with apathy, obesity, self-loathing, porn/masturbation addiction shouldn't use. High-agency men (working out 3x/week, goals, relationships) can use; nuke REM sleep but rebound wild dreams. Creatives use for focus, anxiety coping; others get anxious.
Alcohol same; overweight, non-working out guy in 20s/30s playing video games, feeling bad shouldn't drink/smoke weed; go to gym first, then couple beers with buddies. Context matters.
Advice: Never do substances alone; avoid during week if need to be on point next day. Recreation only.
Most underresearched addiction is porn. Big tech convinces young men: Reddit/Discord over friend group; Robinhood/Coinbase over corporate world; lifelike porn over dating effort/rejection.
Personal example: UCLA 2.27 GPA (failed nine classes, still graduated); admissions 74% then, now 9%; Berkeley grad school with 2.27. UC San Diego blessed with prosperity winds. Motivator for campus: non-zero chance to meet woman, contact, fraternity party/date, physical. If 24/7 lifelike porn, less motivated; little margin for error.
Porn reduces mojo/desire to "make your own bad porn"; men not evolving into risk-taking, positively aggressive men motivated to dress well, workout, approach women. Hard to find partner; welcome to work week, always hard. Women choosier; men spread seed, women finer screen for smartest/fastest/strongest seed; kids smarter/taller.
Reduces desire hinders mating and skills for life success. Anecdotally, young men lack healthy fire; prefer porn facsimile over leveling up. Like sex expats (men to low-income countries/Southeast Asia/South America for bought experiences; low effort vs. real dating/sex work, reps, ego on line, communication).
Spoke to Anna Lembke (Stanford addiction professor, dual diagnosis); immediately offered help if marijuana problem. Not enough research on porn; no one wants to be "porn professor".
Porn taps fundamental wiring: dopamine from sex/reproduction and anger circuits. Robert Heath 1960s neurosurgeon: stimulated brain; into conversion therapy (run out of science). Subjects chose to stimulate central midline nucleus of thalamus for mild frustration/anger; lever press endlessly. No satiation, no post-coital bliss.
Student Lindsay Cleet: mechanistic work; anger/frustration links to dopamine, doesn't attenuate, no threshold.
Social media taps this; big tech exploits. Experienced arousal from "fuck them" anger (Republicans/left/extremes); high all day on anger/frustration.
Correlates anger to depression pathway; trigger leads to anger, then corrosive depletion 2-3 days. Practice to calm anger; feels rush pointing out injustice, like leader.
Testosterone makes effort feel good.
On T therapy: feel younger, stronger gym, better erections, skin; sets back 3-5 years. Do under doctor guidance; fan. Interesting work on hormone replacement.
Testosterone/masculinity political: far right recognized young men problem first, but conflates masculinity with coarseness/cruelty; solution subordinates women/non-whites to 1950s. Jocko Willink not that (has daughters). Far right/Trump/manosphere: harshness/cruelty.
Far left: act like woman, masculinity = toxicity.
Need middle: aspirational masculinity. Jimmy Carr: cruelty or valor; lover or addict. Richard Reeves: invaluable in shipwreck, acceptable at dance.
Carnegie award (running into burning house): 83 awards last year, 75 men. Men prone to good risks; celebrate. Need both: men rush to save comrade, women think through.
Masculine energy suspicious now; celebrate spear-grabber for tribe, Mars investments, aggression.
DNC: special interests, no mention of young men (fallen furthest/fastest).
Terry Real on masculine/feminine phenotypes, therapy, communication: pushback "can't talk toxic femininity, feels imbalanced". Men feel good/bad/really bad categorization.
Manosphere for really bad men. Wonderful femininity, women with issues, bad women; only lesbians say it. Men wishing women do differently seen as toxic; women suffered, need 20-30 years.
Pisses off young men: all on us. Agency important; avoid bad/not-so-good categories.
Polarization: talk toxic masculinity/male crisis, but not suicide rates. Protect/provide women/children first (Titanic life rafts).
It's complicated with off-limits terms that could bridge the gap between viewing men as a mess—some downright awful—and their dissatisfaction. The assumption that a dissatisfied woman means a man failed is flawed. Need to pull back the veil, take a hard look, and mesh perspectives.
From 1945 to 2000, America registered a third of the world's economic growth and prosperity with only 5% of the population—6x the growth of the rest of the world. Majority of that prosperity went to the one-third of the population that were white, male, and heterosexual. Men of that generation had 15 to 18x the wins. Should a young man now pay the price for that privilege?
A young man today is 4x as likely to kill himself, 3x as likely to be addicted, 12x as likely to be incarcerated. Men of previous generations aren't providing mentorship or voting for programs to support young people. Most programs advocated for benefit all young people.
Average 70-year-old is 72% wealthier than the 70-year-old 40 years ago. 25-year-old is 24% less wealthy. Daily 110 notifications tell them they're failing. They're the most obese, depressed, and anxious generation.
I think women make better managers. They are more emotionally in touch, higher EQ. They'll probably make better doctors and lawyers with attention to detail, bedside manner. More women in law and medical school, especially medical school.
Everyone nods when saying women are better managers/doctors. But saying men on average make better entrepreneurs gets pushback—despite 95% of capital allocated to men, mostly by Harvard/Stanford men. Saying men make better combat soldiers is honest but unsafe in some rooms. Less pushback in right-center crowds.
DNC website listed 16 special interest groups (veterans, disabled, Black Americans, Native Americans, seniors) covering 74% of population—discriminating against 26%, basically excluding young men. Catch-up period for men's advantages has gone overboard.
K-12 school system biased against boys: boy 2x as likely to be suspended (behavior-adjusted); Black boy 5x. 70-80% K-12 teachers are women, naturally advocate for those reminding them of themselves. 7-10 high school valedictorians are girls. Now 60/40 female/male in college.
Leveled playing field, women blown past men. Young men lack obvious paths to prosperity. Young people less economically prosperous than before; men disproportionately evaluated on economic viability, especially in mating market.
Economic hypergamy persists: in cities with income equality, twice as many couples where male earns more. Educational hypergamy reduced—women marry non-college men more now.
If not leveling up young people economically, society tears: lower birth rates, fewer to support 40% of government spending on over-65s. Unstable societies share one core: young men lacking economic/romantic opportunities (Weimar Germany, Middle East, Africa). Most dangerous person: young, lonely, broke man.
Remedy not affirmative action for men (too politicized). Stop transferring wealth from young to old. $1.3 trillion/year via Social Security from most anxious/depressed/obese generation to wealthiest generation ever.
Should you and I get Social Security? No, we don't need it. A third of seniors don't need it.
40% government spending on over-65s, rising to 50% in 10 years. Spend more on ICE than children. Baby boomers/Gen X: vampire generation—never drafted, unprecedented prosperity, lowest taxes.
Solutions: eliminate Social Security tax cap at $160k (kid at $160k pays $9k; higher earner pays same). Biggest deductions: mortgage interest, capital gains—benefit older homeowners/stock owners. Young rent, earn current income.
Transferring trillions from young to old. 75% women say economic viability key to mate (25% men). Young men feel no purpose, no middle-class on-ramps, evaluated on hardening criteria, bombarded by success stories (ETH millionaires, Coachella passes).
Analogy to academic science: senior scientists hold 2-4 NIH grants ($million/year), blocking young investigators—fields die. NIH hearings revealed success extending 65+ life (late-stage diabetes, cancer treatments, sunlight/exercise/no alcohol/smoking), but gap in studying young people's issues (mental health, porn/social media addiction).
Deaths of despair (surgeon general term) kill young like cancer kills older. Lost perspective. Japan forces scientists to retire at 65 (keep salary, pension, healthcare, office)—sheds resources. Examples: Lubbert Stryer (biochemistry book) retired, closed lab, made money at Affymetrix, shared wisdom freely without consuming grants/space.
A third [of faculty] should be put on a fucking ice floe.
Great faculty (Stanford, NYU) attract talent, but tenured stay forever, blocking young creativity. #1 longevity predictor: money (China 47 to 77 life expectancy in 60 years; bottom income decile lives 12 years less than top).
Sucking money/life from young to old. Old elect older to vote themselves money, robbing young life/health (money = health). Need term limits; DC like Golden Girls/land of walking dead.
America loved unremarkable kids (speaker: 1130 SAT, 3.1 GPA, assisted lunch, Pell grants, UCLA on appeal as "son of California," then Berkeley). Gave $20M back to UC last 5 years.
Universities with >$1B endowment not growing freshman class faster than population: hedge funds with classes, lose tax-free status. 20% degrees not non-traditional (nursing, construction, vocational): no tax-free access.
Mandatory national service. Tax private schools heavily, reinvest in public (public: $15k/student avg, poor areas $9k; private $72k avg, speaker spent $850k on kids). Disassociate house property taxes from school quality.
Elite college 2x marriage odds, 0.5x suicide, 3x millionaire, 10x run for office, 4x military officer, 0.3x obese.
Higher ed/K-12 common sense solutions blocked by excuses (network effects, globalization, tech)—thinly veiled bullshit. Bottom 99%/young: nutrition for older.
Higher ed emblematic of rejecting unremarkable: at 18, be freakishly remarkable (lacrosse captain building African wells) or children of rich (77x more likely into elite uni if top 1%). 99% kids not top 1%.
America fallen out of love with unremarkable. No apprentice culture (11% LinkedIn profiles Germany/UK vs 3% US)—parents shamed. Expand vocational, freshman classes; stop wealth/health transfer.
Young entitled to rage: see prosperity, generational benefits, $2T deficit spending to seniors ($7T spend vs $5T intake). Baby boomers partying on young's credit card.
No obligation to pay forward. Social Security third rail. Tax policies (e.g., Section 1202: first $10M business sale tax-free) transfer from young to old. Entrepreneurs not motivated by tax policy.
$13k/person healthcare spend, more obesity/anxiety/depression than G6 nations. Nationalized healthcare. Bottom 99%: body bag of nutrition for top 1%. Monetizing healthcare.
Scott Galloway advocates for single-payer socialized medicine immediately, calling the current U.S. healthcare system indefensible. 30% of households have medical or dental debt. He shares a personal example: the shame a father would feel if his 16-year-old daughter needs a root canal and he goes into debt for it, hanging over him for years. He supports funding it by reallocating from Social Security without abandoning the elderly, emphasizing care for older generations while noting the culture is top-heavy.
Galloway considers the host Gen X, not Boomer. The host mentions feeling bashful about his age. Galloway references his friend Kelly Starrett, PhD in physiology and trainer, who said turning 50 means being among the best in shape for the decade. Galloway compliments the host's fitness, looking great for 40. He questions if the shame stems from peers sucking or actual age fear. He loves Gen X as an incredible generation and reflects on responsibilities, failures, and opportunities for the next generation.
The host attributes it to base fears: death, getting old and unhealthy (not death itself), wanting to feel young, vigorous, and masculine as biology erodes it. He's youth-obsessed and ageist.
Galloway calls out successful men listening: his generation fails young men on mentorship. Single point of failure for boys going off tracks: losing male role model via death, divorce, or abandonment. 90% of single parenthood headed by women (like Galloway's). Boys then more likely to be incarcerated than graduate college. 3x more women apply to be Big Sisters than men for Big Brothers in New York. Taboo from Catholic Church scandals, Michael Jackson fears men expressing interest in boys. Many men in 30s at places like Morgan Stanley have no kids but don't step up—no need for Goldman Sachs job or adolescent psychiatry degree. Just be a good man living virtuously.
Mentoring is easy to add value: showing interest, answering questions. Examples:
- Young man on pineapple juice and creatine diet: wrong.
- Another wants to quit job, move to Alaska after National Geographic show despite good job and sick mom: ask basic questions.
- Depressed? Get outside, work out.
Society needs zeitgeist: when young man lacks men, tribe injects them. Quote from Paul Thomas Anderson's Magnolia: "I have love to give. I just don't know where to give it." Many men have fraternal/paternal love to offer but are lazy, not stepping up, or fear suspicion. Find single mother at work: invite son to game, wash car, hang with your boys. Easiest non-government solve.
Men aren't stepping up, even successful ones. Masculinity circles:
- Take care of self (fix oxygen mask, be economically/emotionally viable).
- Family.
- Extended family.
- Community.
Ultimate: involve in life of child not yours. U.S. has most single-parent homes globally, passed Sweden 2 years ago. Galloway, a lefty talking government fixes, says easiest societal fix is male mentorship. Prefrontal cortex for young men: e.g., wear shoes to school.
If we want better men, we have to be better men.
Can't hit pinnacle of masculinity success without helping child not yours. So rewarding, easy—young men make stupid decisions.
Host agrees, sought mentors proactively despite no father interest in football but hurt skateboarding, learned weightlifting from football coach Bob Peters (physical specimen, played piano, raised kids; wrote play Wait Till Your Mother Gets Home that became Mr. Mom; wife challenged him in early 70s).
Sought different men for different advice; also mentored by women like PhD adviser (common in academia). Father involved but parents split at host's age 14 (first-generation immigrant scientist). Host resented science, sought skateboarding, weights, firefighter (took fire science courses), then professor at Santa Barbara.
Galloway: Host exceptional; most 14-year-olds don't seek mentors—they don't know they need them. His mom got men involved quickly, transformative. Mom's boyfriend gave $200: buy stocks or lose it. Host walked into Dean Witter, met Sai Sero (big afro), called daily from Emerson Junior High payphone (20 cents). Bought 12 shares Columbia Pictures: Close Encounters of the Third Kind hit, stock up; Casey's Shadow bomb. Lessons: more buyers than sellers, stock rises. Investing since 13; made money selling companies and stocks. Sero attended live podcast 2 years ago at 82, recently passed. Mom's boyfriend had secret second family, around every other weekend. Athletic coaches active too.
Boys naturally reject parents; mom's voice becomes white noise. Boys need men. Saying so was triggering 5 years ago. Mom raised him (light of life), but men stepping in crucial: neighbor across hall took him horseback riding every other week knowing single mom.
Host has more questions; delighted by conversation despite polarization perceptions. Grateful for Galloway's code: provider/protector, financial foundation, service over self. Galloway defies stereotypes. Compliments health—probably from boys.
Galloway: Podcasting like politics—outrage gets ratings, algorithms reward uninformed. Need intelligence, honesty, science cool again. Host does that with domain expertise, data, disclosures (e.g., correcting on DOPA). Positive influence vs. algorithms seducing youth. Leaders need measured comments. Host's friends in politics aren't biologists.
Host: Labor of love/compulsion, continues amid tense politics.
Galloway: Host has balls and brains, takes risks, better decisions than peers.
Host thanks for joining discussion with Scott Galloway; links in show notes to book, podcasts, resources.
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