How to show up in any room with a low heart rate: Silicon Valley’s missing etiquette playbook
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Be early. Don't order the most expensive thing on a video call menu. Have an appropriate background. Don't smell bad.
Etiquette is a skill for how to show up in a room with a low heart rate.
At Kleiner Perkins holiday party with all venture capitalists and CEOs at your first company, avoid high-stakes transactional mindset. Don't show up like an Energizer Bunny; project calm of abundance. This is part of the story, not the entire story.
Sam Lessin, partner at Slow Ventures, previous VP of Product at Facebook, two-time founder. Teaching classes worldwide, published book on etiquette. Covers introductions, small talk, meals, meetings.
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Etiquette at intersection of hilarious and useful. Started with tweet, escalated to event, book. Double down in life.
In 2025/2026, software commoditizing, AI fear; etiquette matters for building trust, partnerships, mirroring expected behaviors when asking for trust with data/business.
Shallow truth: funny to teach Silicon Valley etiquette after narrative that none matters, just product.
Wearing t-shirt but knows rules.
Show up with low heart rate, self-confidence, calm of abundance, not scarcity. Give more than take, build relationships not collect cards.
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