“If everyone did this, I’d be out of a job” - Divorce Lawyer
In a Nutshell
A divorce lawyer argues that deep, progressive communication and courtship—sharing formative experiences via tools like 30 love questions or the Tales card game—builds strong relationships by fostering male motivation through vasopressin bonding, "good boy points," and earned sexual novelty, as per Roy Baumeister's insights. Men thrive on standards and missions (e.g., protector/provider codes, wearing suits to signal seriousness), while women act as sex gatekeepers to filter out jerks, countering hookup culture's pitfalls like mismatched emotional/physical intimacy. This disciplined approach kills divorce business by creating disciplined men and selective women who prioritize long-term bonding over casual flings.
These notes were generated by AI and may contain inaccuracies.
Important things to do at the start of a relationship: talk extensively, including meta-commentary on the conversation itself, e.g., "this is so weird, isn't it? It's scary. Oh, isn't this interesting what we're doing right now?" Talk in a detached, narrative fashion. Discuss formative experiences. Play fun games around that.
Article about 30 questions that can make two people fall in love, progressively more intense: available at chriswex.com/valentine.
Card game called Tales. Steve from Diary of CEO has great questions. These supplemental tools make the game fun: "you're a mystery to me, I'm a mystery to you." Dating is progressively showing more of yourself. Hookup culture lost progressive revelation, teasing, earning rewards through effort.
"Courtship is the period during which a woman works out if she can do better." - Roy Baumeister
Sparks challenge and drive in men to win.
Men bond using vasopressin. Good boy points drive men to do obscene things, especially from a beautiful, charming woman: in bedroom, cleaning kitchen, picking up kids, dressing nicely, shaving.
Brazilian jiu-jitsu example: trained 20 years, doesn't like sweaty balls in face, but tapping a guy once after being tapped 15 times feels like progress. Coach with three stripes on belt giving "Yeah, good" is huge.
Built a law firm, represented wealthiest people: getting brown belt after 15 years, hours, injuries was proudest accomplishment.
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