Q&A - Health Update, Sobriety & Finding The One
These notes were generated by AI and may contain inaccuracies.
Hello everybody. Welcome back to the show. Had a haircut and hit 4.1 million subscribers. Nearly Valentine's Day—put together a list of 50 evidence-based and viral questions from the internet and journal to connect deeply with your partner, plus 25 to work out whether to break up. Breaking people's brains on Instagram with insane DM replies to samples. Get the list at chriswilx.com/valentine.
Great question almost no one asks: Do I want to live the lifestyle required to get the life? Example: Want to be a rock star guitarist touring the world? Lifestyle means 10 years playing in bedroom learning chords, progressions, songwriting; another 5 years in a van touring making no money with uncertainty and little support. Even after success, away from family, friends, community—traveling constantly in airports or buses. If you don't want the lifestyle, release the desire. Define success and route to get there. If you don't want to endure the route or live it, relinquish the desire—otherwise guarantees misery. Wanting the thing but not doing or living what's required leads to a shitty life.
Tried a version: meat and fruit, strictly from September 2024 until April 2025 (over 6 months). Felt great mentally—going through brain fog, detoxing mold. Annihilated cholesterol—went through the roof. Many are hyperabsorbers or sensitive to cholesterol; turns out I am. Carnivore helps many feel better, but destructive to important numbers like LDL levels for heart health. Took some principles, now back to intermittent fasting (16:8, nothing until 1:00 p.m. or midday, eat through afternoon)—more balanced.
Congrats on success—subbed for 3 years. Turned 25, moved out to another state in April 2024 to start career. Job fine but no joy or satisfaction despite years working toward it. Know it's not for you, feel lost, unsure of direction.
That's a real challenge—dedicated time to something thought wanted, rug pulled out. Feel for you; sit with it, give self-empathy. At 25, massive runway: travel, try things, go back to school. Feels like oldest you've been, should have life together, near death, others ahead. Started podcast at 30, moved to America at 33. Never too late. People have short memories—including you. In 2 years, won't remember this doubt due to recency bias. Others not thinking about you much, don't care. Some ahead as you restart, but you're unhappy. Sunk cost fallacy and loss aversion hurt emotionally, feels like wasted time, world crashing. If succeeding in hated life, imagine thriving in loved one. Nothing to lose—trying something else with no joy puts you in same spot. Smallest step: What's the single tiniest action the most afraid version of you could take to move away from this life toward one you want?
First vlog 4 months ago tracked 18 months finding mold in house, kicking off immune issues—everyone has background strain, but environment pushes over limit. Second vlog omitted struggling evidence, doctor testimony—internet defaults to scrutiny: if look okay outside, seems like whining from privileged. Less sympathy without "throat clearing" proof—feels contrived. Understandable if unseen first vlog: guy in good shape saying tired, sad, brain fog = "getting older, normal." That's Stockholm syndrome for bad health—loving declining health tormentor. Don't accept getting slower, sadder, stupider in 30s.
Many reached out with chronic fatigue, GI issues, CMV, EBV, mold, Lyme, H. pylori, candida, SIBO, heavy metals, BPAs—feel seen, especially mold. Nice. Surprised by solution range:
- Need Jesus/prayer
- Psychedelics (heavy mushrooms)
- Working too hard/burnout
- Hypochondriac, not real
- Opulence from overachieving
- Goat milk cleanses
- Water fasts
- Meat/fruit, carnivore
- Blood at full moon
- Enemas
- Bleach stuff (name forgotten)
Mixed bag, but will keep talking—important truth. Internet will judge.
Tour: Australia, New Zealand, Bali in 4-5 weeks. Brisbane, Perth sold out; tickets for Adelaide, Auckland, Christchurch, Sydney, Melbourne, Bali at chriswilliamson.live. UK/Ireland tour announced yesterday (maybe Germany)—tickets at chriswilliamson.live.
New studio: super exciting, ton of new episode styles. Pushed back 3 times due to changes (probably me problem). More merch, especially Modern Wisdom stuff—working with Sleep Token's merch designer; early designs outrageous.
Book: Thinking seriously, but living with George (high agency book)—lesson: for large multi-month project (album, thesis, book), can't do other stuff. Would need internal podcast changes to just read/write book, prep/record guests, nothing else. Still founder mode startup internally.
Live tour Aus/NZ/Bali then UK/Ireland end of year (chriswilliamson.live). New studio/episode styles—like long-distance texting flirtation finally meeting, bypassing foreplay.
Thinking about quitting. Day job + side business = 18-hour days (not office, needs labor). Occasional drinking kills enthusiasm/motivation 3-7 days. But get opportunities/insights from drinking customers/partners; not socially correct sober (Finland).
18-hour days serious. Worth it 100%. Surprised how much you retain opportunities/insights without drinking. For big deals, low/no beers: Heineken 0.0, Guinness 0%, Peroni 0%—pretend drinking. Cautious outsourcing life to the mean: average American obese, divorced, <1K in bank (average Finn unknown). Following crowd = outsourcing wisdom to reliable route to unwanted life. Don't use social correctness as litmus test. Commit 6 months minimum—heavy lifting first 60 days, then easier. 30/90 days pays price without benefits. After 6 months break, unlikely want back long-term (my experience).
Like your mindset—even in tough places, good vibe. Did not feel good vibe last year—2025 hardest year by far. Open about it. Emotionally, professionally, personally difficult: health, energy, mood, cognition. Put best face forward—professional, authentic, not pretending. Guests are world experts, millions tune in daily—tie boots tight, do job well. Maybe brave face. Cried more last year than previous two decades. Not easy.
Helps keep good vibe (Huberman bang on): 15 minutes sunlight in eyes first thing. Using AO glasses (wearable light therapy above eyes, dorky-looking)—good pre-sunrise. Avoid caffeine: using Neutonic sachets/capsules, not RTD. Increased vegetables, avoided oxalates (e.g., spinach doesn't agree despite loving). Psychology is biology. Train, see friends, drink water, move (lots of walks), avoid doom scrolling.
Wasn't in good vibe last year. Brain finally working—missed quality thoughts, reflection, progress, improving show. Treading water 18 months. Feeling close to self now is good vibe. Today feels pretty good.
Sponsor: Athletic Brewing Co.—50 NA beers (IPAs, Goldens, limited Paloma/Moscow Mule). Drink anytime, no hangover. Bestselling lineup in stores or variety pack online: 15% off first order at athleticbrewing.com/modernwisdom.
Feel academic system failed? Failed myself or it. Scared—no direct path from philosophy/psychology to career. Sheltered, didn't know professional philosopher. Picked business as most "careery." Decade later, created own curriculum: specific subjects with world experts, no homework, made job—repurposed academia.
Loved negotiating life outside course: friendships, houses, tenancy, bills, makeups/breakups. Did two degrees, 5 years uni—can't remember content, but would do again. Understand anti-degree views, agree not always needed, but wouldn't be where I am without uni (not course, everything around). Pro higher education—maybe get benefits without cost/course, but easier to go.
Thanks for health journey share. Advice powering through toughest days? For healthy Chris?
Hard: ME/CFS, mold, Lyme invisible—no outward illness presentation despite internal sickness. Broken arm visible engenders sympathy/legitimizes; internal bloodwork (e.g., immune 400% over upper bound) arbitrary metrics. Maybe just work harder, David Goggins would.
Choice: stay where I am or keep going to get better. Not quitting, never settling, never stopping. Sooner die trying to feel better than survive letting entropy win. Humans locally reverse entropy—universe breaking order, we resist for 8 decades. Like the scrap vs. universe. Giving up tempting (less hope), but don't want to settle—causes pain/disappointment, but look back on life left all on field.
Tom Brady gave shoutout—works with hydrogen water company Echo (fan of), maybe signing with another I work with. No idea what said—link below. He's a GOAT.
Responding to a question about interviewing bigger rock/metal artists like Vessel, Bruce Springsteen, Oli Sykes, Corey Taylor, Elton John, Caleb Shomo, Angus Young, James Hetfield. Loves the episode with John Bellion, Underoath, I Prevail. Plans to discuss touring, mental health, balance in the music business.
Oli Sykes and host have been talking about an episode since the podcast started. Recently looped in with Corey Taylor and Caleb Shomo (after new Beartooth album drops). Chatting with Ronnie Radke. Rock and metal scene huge part of life since childhood. Excited to ask questions to artists whose music listened to for hundreds of hours.
New studio setup with Mousera and Drumo for recording live performances: studio-quality guitar, keys, vocals. Plans to get John Bellion to send collaborators for performances on the podcast.
Merch will return with new drop in March/April. Working on designs with Sleep Token guy. Goal: 3 drops a year or quarterly, depending on demand. Wears own brand exclusively now. Sold thousands of pieces in first drop. Working on UK direct shipping to cut costs for Australia tour (limited edition merch produced in Australia). Global shipping is a nightmare.
Responding to someone diagnosed after 10 years of debilitating fatigue and anxiety with Lyme, two strains of Babesia, lead poisoning. Wants more on host's journey to get better.
Sorry to hear about the struggle—10 years of invisible illness, doubting if real, people suggesting CBT, ACT therapy, psychosomatic, hypochondria, anxiety. Diagnosis legitimates it, makes you feel less crazy. Everything tracked in public docs. Current goal: retrain nervous system to feel safe in life and have capacity for challenges. Will keep documenting despite accusations (working too hard/not hard enough, menstrual blood sacrifices, goat milk, psychedelics).
Sponsor: Timeline (interrupted by sponsor break on mitochondria health).
No direct knowledge of Australia's dating scene (visiting in six weeks). Not an Australia-specific problem—modern West problem (shifting expectations for men/women, mismatch coupling, vitality curve, socioeconomic tall girl problem). Massive barriers.
Listeners (educated, postgrad, earning money, driven, reflective, high standards) struggle to find deep emotional/intellectual connection. Dating is one big conversation; refined palate means fewer compatible restaurants. Internet fixates on 6ft/6-pack/6-figures, ignores emotional/intellectual match.
People with therapy/meditation/nervous system regulation/curiosity can't find partners who value the same—feels imbalanced. Silent epidemic, like chronic fatigue, not on Tinder profile, felt in vibe. Structural, objective, subjective reasons. Stick with it—better than giving up.
Tips for hobbies outside work without turning fun into skill obsession.
Friend Justin Noel assigned hobby (watercolors) but forbidden from improving: type-A brain immediately researched YouTube, best brushes/paper, coach. Point: do the task without creating homework/judgment barometer.
Host experienced with pickleball (Tuesday/Thursday rec turned into drills with pro Zay Navratil). Joy in improvement ok, but not if it becomes torment.
- Try group activities with poorly defined outcomes (yoga, salsa/line dancing)—spectrum of difficulty/stupidity, not win/lose.
Overachiever mindset common.
Australia birth rate ~1.4-1.5 (not great, tracking global decline). Advice: go where desired people hang out (not Tinder/Hinge/bars/clubs/work unless it selects for those traits).
- Modern Wisdom live event (chriswilliamson.com/live)
- Yoga/meditation class
- Business mastermind/conference
- Library
- Run club/meetup
Obvious but overlooked—look where they don't hang out.
Unlearning 100x harder than learning; priority is avoiding bad habits. Always drilling habits—no neutral. Examples: gym vs snooze; healthy vs neutral eating; regulated vs shouty/detached partner talks.
Best way: overwrite with stronger habit (deeper groove). Behavior like water through landscape—path of least resistance (effort + repetition). Bed easier than gym; deepen new groove with massive effort, one inch at a time. Failures happen.
- Rule: Don't miss two days in a row (one day = mistake, two = new bad habit).
- Do opposite (e.g., phone outside bedroom to stop night scrolling).
Old habit lingers but can be beaten by deeper new grooves over time. Unlearning = relearning/overwriting.
Sponsor: Gymshark (gymwear recommendation).
Rails against 'fuck your feelings, work harder' mindset. Episodes emphasize emotion, connection, resonance over grinding until eyes bleed.
Sounds like ivory tower advice to grinders, hard tightrope. Can't tell people to work less, but shares endpoint: ignoring feelings is superpower short-term, but goal is feeling good long-term.
Problems:
- Disregard sustained emotions—successfully miserable if never connect/enjoy/slow down.
- Transactional friendships: hang only if useful, treat as commodities to trade up/ignore. Networking essential for podcast growth, but backfires long-term.
Sponsor break.
Question from ambitious 23yo in 'successful' career: dissatisfied despite achievements, knows needs harder work but procrastinates, aware of time value, disconnect between values/behavior.
Perennial challenge: achieved satisfying thing but subjectively absent. Human condition—perpetual chase wired in (one hunt/gather success = death). Type-A amplified; modern world quantifies status (followers, quals, money, global comparisons).
Dissatisfaction + deferring work linked: celebrate wins more to motivate next. Achieved, no satisfaction → evidence next will disappoint/miserable.
If you did something good but didn't reward it, like training a dog without positive reinforcement, it won't repeat the behavior. Solutions include celebrating micro wins, especially with friends. If you've qualified in a successful career, celebrate it—go out, make a big deal, encourage friends to do the same. Example: Zach Telander's album launch party in a week and a half; pre-save it on Spotify, it's awesome. The speaker is flying back from St. Louis and plans to throw a party at home or a bar. For a 23-year-old qualifying in a successful career, buying a first house, birthday, promotion, making a sale—no achievement is too small to celebrate. The threshold for celebration keeps rising, which is problematic.
Ask what price you'd pay to reach the next level and if you really want it. It might reveal you don't want it that much, and that's okay. At 23, with hard work to qualify recently, there's huge runway ahead. It might not be leaving things on the table but pointing in the wrong direction. Easier to say "I'm on the right path but unmotivated" than admit climbing the wrong ladder and needing to climb down. If you genuinely want it—not due to loss aversion, momentum, or sunk cost—what steps are required? Then send it. You're slacking if you have capacity but lack resilience or laziness. But without celebrating wins, what's the point? Pat yourself on the back more, ensure right direction, and if so, burn both ends of the candle.
They're rare because they're hard, effortful, and easier to hide in momentum, outsource to the crowd, or follow others' paths. Self-awareness is terrifying: "What if I'm doing it wrong?" Easier to continue wrongly than stop and reassess. If you ask why, self-awareness is inevitable—choice is becoming friends with it. Treat it like a fixture: use it to advantage, know when not to apply it. Unlearning innate programming is 100 times harder than learning; it's like editing MacBook source code. It slows people, makes them seem less cohesive. Upcoming episode with Charlie Hooper on this.
Introduced many to Sleep Token via show, newsletter, won t-shirts. Favorite changes: "Missing Limbs," "Uklid," final tracks of album one and three, "Are You Really Okay?" "Caramel" (earwormy but disliked last 45 seconds). Today: "Uklid" (Zach sent it).
RP Strength training app by Dr. Mike Israetel: 45+ pre-made programs, 250 technique videos, step-by-step plans, exact sets/reps/weights, form optimization, weekly progress adjustments, 30-day money-back guarantee. $50 off at rpstrength.com/modernwisdom or link in description with code modernwisdom.
Getting back into rigid routine: up at 6ish, walk with Turbion nons glasses (sun not risen), breath work (10-20 min HV resonance breathing with Health lamps—hypertrophy for vagus nerve, next big thing), meditation (Insight Timer unguided Shinzen Young's Five Ways to Know Yourself; might try Jhana with Johnny Miller's teacher; guided: Sam Harris' Waking Up), read 10 min—total ~1 hour. Not ridiculous; stacks needed habits (breath work, meditate, walk, read) when easiest, before phone distractions. Disagrees with Huberman: morning stacking more efficient than jumping to work if goals include those habits. Supercharges day: movement, light, nervous system dialed, learning locked in by teaching training partner something read, ensures interesting reads. Loves it, easy to stick to.
Some value only hard-to-get things (playground dynamic: want what you can't have). Availability creates ick. Undeveloped view of human value, not universal—happens with some women/men. Avoid such partners; dynamic emerges later (engagement, dog, marriage, kids, job loss/promotion, illness). Reveals their low self-esteem: if worthy, not turned off by being liked. Their issue: "What's wrong with you liking unlovable me?" Endless better women exist. But multiple instances mean your selection criteria cause it—scrutinize.
Wants cure; ruthless condition. Physics Girl (Amy)'s video prompted speaker's health vlog; she DM'd feeling less alone (mutual). More research needed; silent epidemic mistaken for aging (it's not—universe crushes but this isn't normal). Plans future advocacy: mold testing/protocols (many unknowingly exposed, maybe more than CFS cases). Hit list post-recovery includes ME/CFS.
Genetic; trained directly twice with Mike Israetel (videos exist). Everyone has one freakish body part that grows effortlessly (shoulders, glutes, calves); forearms for speaker—good except for suits/shirts.
Hard full stop, especially transitions: old friends don't resonate, new not built; incongruent (obsessed with congruence: aligned thoughts/actions/beliefs). Transitional doubt: left old satisfactions, no new skills/support. Personal growth 50% "What am I doing?" + 50% doing it. Speaker's phases: 27-32 passive to active (agency, control); now active to emotional (feels like devolution—old tools useless, world admired prior ruthlessness). Looks like not knowing what doing; hard to attract. Seek others in same transition. Speaker's: George, Zach, Yousef, Johnny (UK), Luke, James, Charlie Hooper, Dr. K (same trajectory); ahead: Joe Hudson, Dr. K. Stay course—like Rocky cutscene, 3 min film vs. 4.5 years real.
Sleep worsens: study—group paid to fall asleep faster took longer (trying harder worsens relax-needed things like sleep/illness). Insomnia spirals from pillow fear. Stress of perfection kills faster than imperfections. Optimize vices (non-cocaine addiction, gambling reduction) good; most go zero to one, not minus one to zero. Overoptimizers overdo. Training: optimization removes enjoyment (prescriptive vs. vibe). Biggest determinant: compliance via enjoyment. Get close to right, then optimize for enjoyment.
Optimization becomes excessive when it stops being enjoyable, reducing long-term compliance and results. Prioritize enjoyment to ensure sustainability, as it's the primary reason for these pursuits. For example, switching gym sessions from evenings with a fun training partner to mornings for 5% more motor unit recruitment, better caffeine timing, beta-alanine use, and post-workout nutrition might optimize a single session but drastically lowers adherence due to reduced enjoyment and reliance on willpower. Sleep and training are prime areas prone to over-optimization.
A 41-year-old man, fit, funny (in his own way), a little neurotic, attentive, attractive, and caring, fears his lack of industriousness is repelling women after initial attraction, especially financially. You don't need exceptional financial success to keep a girlfriend, but it expands your total addressable market (TAM). Women sensitive to finances self-select out, serving as a filter for unmaterialistic partners.
- Verify the issue: Text exes directly (even if relationships are strained) asking, "How big of a deal was my financial success to your attraction? No sugarcoating—I'm asking to be a better man for the next woman. Hope I left you better off. Voice note if you want."
- This keeps ego in check and may reveal surprises, like neuroticism being the real issue.
With his strong subjective qualities, ramping up financial industriousness is feasible in his 40s—no dependencies post-breakup. Squeeze the "wet towel" of resource provisioning via side hustles; within a few years (absent high-cost living or dependencies), he'll stabilize. Easier to build finances than attain fitness, humor, attentiveness, attractiveness, or caring.
Four years clean from gambling—huge achievement; it's a silent, gendered epidemic tapping unique mental keyholes. £60,000 (~£85,000/$90,000 USD) remaining, earning teacher salary (likely £30,000s).
Teaching offers holidays but low pay relative to debt. Chipping away at £5,000/year takes 12 years—a decade of burden, worse with interest.
- Cut burn rate (every pound spent delays payoff), but avoid joyless austerity.
- Prioritize increasing inflow: Anxiety hates a moving target; overwork feels proactive and motivating.
- Side hustles: James Smith's "How to Become an Online Fitness Coach"; PT (personal training) at £25-50/hour in high-income UK areas, ideal during holidays.
- Evening jobs: Local retail, 24-hour petrol station kiosks.
- Personal story: At 20 in uni, broke (couldn't fuel car, housemate stole Tesco food), too proud for parental loans or boss advances—solved via overwork.
Action antidotes anxiety; hard work lowers gambling relapse risk. Stay the course—you'll get there.
Hamburg visit possible in tour gap post-four back-to-back UK/Ireland dates, or for cinema shoot. Germany is Modern Wisdom's 5th biggest market (USA, UK, Australia, Canada, Germany). Attending video game conference with Newtonic (late September/August?). Aim for Germany 2026.
Joe Hudson (Art of Accomplishment): Did his retreat, Groundbreakers, communications course. Talk weekly or biweekly—close friends. Joe is a rare "master coach," calm, regulated, introspective, caring, smart, wise. Better person than speaker; shifted admiration criteria (also loves Chris Bumstead, Homozy despite differing demeanors). Learned much; skipped recent decisions course due to health burden—maybe next year.
For New Zealand VIP (first time visiting—excited): Prefer burning, scary, revealing questions you're hesitant to ask publicly—not performative ones. Whatever truly interests you.
Pinocchio paradox: If he says "my nose will grow," it grows because he's lying (doesn't know future)—statement is prediction, not fact.
"Why did you stop working out? You used to be so fit." Still trains (recent forearm compliments), but lost muscle from sadness/illness—"fittish," not skinny fat.
Book plans: Longstanding Penguin Portfolio deal (Adrian accommodating, delayed thrice). Struggles with idea set—not single-thrust like Psychology of Money, Atomic Habits, High Agency, or The Subtle Art. "Modern Wisdom" passes subway test but feels like almanac/curated ideas, not owning cognitive real estate. Naming after podcast diminishes writer legitimacy (despite 250,000+ words in 5 years via weekly 1,000-word newsletter + 300-350k in Apple Notes). Avoids repurposed podcast vibe.
Options paralysis (curse of options): "How Not to Miss Your Life," success vs. happiness balance, loneliness chapter, unteachable lessons, obsession. Needs launch velocity amid life chaos. Suggest ideas in comments.
Sentiment analysis of speech (pace, tonality, energy, errors) would show brain fog from sleep issues/personal stress leaking in—sad undertone last year despite insightful episodes.
Now: Breathing room, brain firing, fluid writing, genuine confidence after ~2 years (not impostor fears). Thanks for sticking through; inspired by emotion/downtime/challenge questions (real but draining). Will "rip hinges off" 2026 gently—titrate load to sustain recovery.
Proud of audience; questions meaningful, reason to rise on bad days. Promote: Chris.com/valentine (partner questions), ChrisWilliamson.live (tour), Mostly Wise merch soon, new episodes/studio, Australia. Love you all.
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