The Confidence Trick Nobody Tells You About with Lewis Howes

Name: The Confidence Trick Nobody Tells You About with Lewis Howes
Uploaded: 2026-09-06T14:14:39.000Z
Duration: 11 min 10 s
Channel: Tony Robbins

Tony RobbinsSeptember 6, 202611m

Topics15

The Problem with Problems0:00 Getting What You Want vs. Fulfillment0:30 Having Something to Serve1:01 Lack of Mission, Not Confidence1:31 The Tyranny of How2:00 What and Why First2:30 Confidence Through Action3:00 The Example of Michael Jordan3:31 Toastmasters Experience4:00 Building Confidence Through Action5:30 What Happens When We Don't Lean Into Fears6:30 The Firewalk Experience7:30 Identity as Your Comfort Zone8:00 The Upper End of Comfort Zone9:00 Identity as the Strongest Force10:00

In a Nutshell

The core message is that confidence comes from having a mission bigger than yourself, not from eliminating problems or knowing exactly how to succeed. Instead of starting with the "how" (which triggers fear), begin with a clear "what" and a compelling "why"—then take action, serve others, and expand your identity through repeated uncomfortable experiences like public speaking or firewalking. Real growth requires pushing past your current comfort zone and updating your self-image, because lasting change only happens when your identity expands to match your new goals.

AI-Generated Notes

These notes were generated by AI and may contain inaccuracies.

Problems are the fuel for growth. The biggest problem people have is they think they're not supposed to have any problems. Anyone who doesn't have problems is either totally asleep at the wheel or they don't have much of any kind of life, no responsibility, nothing they're building. The misnomer that if you have a problem there's something wrong with you or your life is incorrect.

Success is defined by most people as getting what you want, but fulfillment is living what you're made for. The biggest challenge people have is they're just thinking about themselves. It's not that hard to meet your own needs. Phones constantly condition you to instantly get what you want, but that's not how human relationships work and that's sure as hell not how you build a business. In nature, you will not see a straight line unless a human built it. Everything grows a little up and down like a stock, but it's a winding process.

People don't have something they're wanting to serve more than themselves. Energy comes from serving something greater than yourself. Having 105 companies creates problems, but if you thought life was supposed to be problem-free, you would be really stressed out. If you were just doing it for yourself, you would have stopped a long time ago.

The lack of confidence is actually a lack of mission. Having that sense of mission is what creates confidence. People think they have to know how, which is called the tyranny of how. When you start with how, you're screwed.

Martin Luther King had no idea how when he did his "I Have a Dream" speech. His wife was the one that pushed him because he was uncertain. He got up and gave his vision of how it can be done. He talked about what needs to happen and why. If you can figure out what you want and why you want it and get strong enough reasons, reasons that'll drive you late at night and get you up early in the morning, you'll figure out how to do it. If you start with how, the small brain, the fear brain goes, "Oh, I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go."

Know what you want and get a big enough why, then you'll figure out how to do it. Start with the what and the why, not the how. 90% of the time, you don't know what to do either. You know what and why, then try something, and if it doesn't work, try something else. Speed it up by learning from the best.

You get confident by doing stuff. Public speaking is the second biggest fear people have. Focus on how to serve them, what they need, what they want, how you can serve. When you're focused on others and how to serve them, there's no lack of confidence in you because if it's not working, you just change your approach because it's all about serving. People that are scared to speak are thinking constantly, "How am I doing? Am I good enough? Am I strong enough?"

Sign in to read the full notes

Get access to AI-generated notes, topic timestamps, and more.

The Confidence Trick Nobody Tells You About with Lewis Howes

The Problem with Problems00:00

Getting What You Want vs. Fulfillment00:30

Having Something to Serve01:01

Lack of Mission, Not Confidence01:31

Sign in to read the full notes