What if men stopped fearing feminine energy?
These notes were generated by AI and may contain inaccuracies.
There's shame attached to discussing masculine and feminine energy. It's acceptable to say attuned, connected, dropped in, aware, or use Wilbarian language like transcending and including as a guy—that aligns with Joe's vulnerability definition and feels strong. But embracing feminine energy provokes strong rejection.
Irrationality is a key feminine trait men criticize in wives and girlfriends. Men project their own irrationality onto women. Pursuing endless money and status past a certain point is hyper-irrational—you've proven it doesn't bring happiness, yet you continue. That's deeply irrational.
Feminine qualities include feminine, irrational, singing, dancing, flowing, enjoying one's body. In sexual relationships, men often vicariously participate in their partner's greater pleasure capacity without fully experiencing full-body pleasure themselves.
Many guys treat sex as a business to successfully exit—following a sequence of steps like building and exiting a business, with blueprints and tricks. Even turning video game Hades 2 into an optimized business, sex becomes a loving presence turned into build-and-exit.
Early Charisma and Command and early Charlie were driven by deep people-pleasing, especially toward women—shaping habits, exercise routine for female attention. In sex, focusing on making the other person happy leads to exhaustion: 'I'm tired of trying to make this other person happy.' This creates shadow frustrations, resentments without realization. Obsession with meaning blocks access to pleasure.
Frankl's inverse law: If pleasure doesn't come easily, dismiss it as for suckers and focus on meaning—grinding through life via slow accumulation of progress toward well-meaning goals, seen as more objective, forward-projected, with measurable graph progress (yesterday vs. today). Meaning is the outcome: fighting for country freedom, breaking into smaller steps, little battles, persistent, clean, directed.
Masculine thread obsesses over future orientation, driving toward something with limited chaos and uncertainty. Pleasure is right now—fleeting, no long-term guarantees, gone next moment. Contrast: be present, accept lack of control, it's okay if it leaves.
Foot Tennis at George Max's 30th Birthday in Miami
Competitive foot tennis over a net wasn't beautiful. Changed to team effort despite opposite sides—goal: fanciest tricks. Two ex-champion freestyle footballers weren't using skills to win; instead, pass to guy for three round-the-worlds, watch and say 'sick, dude,' then pass across net. One guy wanted to count tricks and repeat—rejected as reverse-engineering.
Pickleball in Austin, Texas
Co-ed pickleball, 1-1 going into final game, vs. another guy and girl. Pre-game strategy: exploit opponent's weak backhand at net, wider dinks, deeper service. Partner (21-year-old girl) said, 'Yeah, let's not forget to have fun.' Moment of enjoying right now. (Exception: neurosurgeon moments prioritize outcomes.)
Optimize for maximum objective success (photo album, bank account, followers)—leads to hypervigilance, mind never resting where feet are, peering over present moment for next thing.
Live Shows on Tour
Playing Regent Theater in LA this Saturday. Can perform near-perfectly but not be there—not fully 'this rules.' Moments of pausing for two seconds: 'Fuck, I'm there.' Remembers those presence breaks, not lines or laughs—e.g., sound out in New York, freestyling with stage wedges to 1500 people bouncing off back wall.
Trade-Offs and True Success
Presence might drop performance from 100% to 95% or 90%, or boost to 101-150%. Regardless, gains more presence, joy, awareness. Why pursue success? To create enjoyable emotional state—tracing 'why' leads to 'because it feels good.' Access directly: 'I'm here. Holy shit, we're alive. That rules.'
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